Should you lie?
What about lying to your partner?
Modern media gives us this view that being in a relationship will be all sunshine and care bears. You will love them forever. You will always be kind, generous, compassionate and honest to each other.
But in reality I don't believe this is true. There are times when you hate them. There are times when you find them unattractive. There are times when you are bored of them. Isn't this the whole point of marriage vows; recognition that there will be difficult moments?
Should you be honest and tell your partner about these moments or thoughts?
How would you feel to be on the receiving end of every resentment?
How would you feel on the receiving end of something like the following?
"You are so unattractive when you make that face while cleaning your teeth."
"I hated you last night when you forgot to fill the car up and I got stranded before I could get to the fuel station."
Have you ever thought anything similar?
It is hurtful to hear such things. Sometimes the truth is very painful.
So should you keep silent about some things?
Should we lie and pretend everything is perfect?
I came from a place where resentments were smothered in preference to politeness. It wasn't comfortable. From 7 cups I have learnt about listening without taking it personally. I haven't quite got the technique yet. And how far can it go? Is it possible to hear the painful, but not be hurt by it? To allow others to speak their truth, because they know you won't run screaming. What relationship would it be if both parties could be heard without hurting?
I think this could be a beautiful thing to work towards.
These thoughts are based on ideas from the YouTube video: "The power of lies to transform your love life". By School of Life.
Are there any lies that you are keeping a lid on?
@Clio9876
No we shouldn't lie. It will only make things worst in the long run. Lying is not a part of a healthy relationship. Everything may not always be happy and shiny, but we don't have to lose our self-respect and dignity and start lying. We should at least strive to be decent, if not we don't need to give that to another person. I also believe that media gives an unrealistic view of relationships/marriage for example Romcom's, but we shouldn't base what we want off of movies. And there is a thin line between fantasy and a decent healthy relationship. I wouldn't want to be with someone that I can't get along with, is rude and doesn't really like me. Sometimes when people mistreat each other I think it is a self-esteem issue. Relationships can be hard but its better if we learn how to manage it and compatibility is important, but we are human, so we skip over this most of the time.
