Tired of Dating
Why is it so hard to find a decent, respectful man who wants to go slow?
I had a man drop me because on the 2nd date I wasn’t comfortable answering questions about physical intimacy.
This was my first potential relationship in almost 2 years and I’m getting older. I want the dream of marriage to die if it won’t come true.
@neatBlueberry5213
Finding the right partner can indeed be a challenging process, and it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique. It's unfortunate that you had an experience where someone didn't respect your boundaries.
It's essential to prioritize your own comfort and well-being in any potential relationship. It's okay to take things at your own pace and communicate your boundaries clearly. A partner who is truly respectful and compatible with you will understand and appreciate your needs.
While it might feel discouraging at times, remember that building a healthy and lasting relationship takes time. It's better to wait for someone who values and respects you rather than rushing into something that doesn't align with your values and desires.
Focus on self-care, personal growth, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. When you prioritize your own well-being and happiness, you'll be better positioned to attract a partner who shares your values and wants to build a meaningful and respectful relationship with you.
@neatBlueberry5213 Do you feel like you need a partner to be happy?
No, I’m ok being single. I desire a partner though and have since a teen.
Im okay with being single as well and have been for 7 years now, from a guys perspective I have had more trouble finding a female that’s willing to have a friendship/relationship with out them entertaining Someone else or not jumping to the what I can provide Type of attitude. We all desire a partner, some of us more than others. Personally, I’ve given up on trying because it at some point you get tired of being rejected or disappointed. I wish the best for you though stay positive
Give You're self more time i hope you will find one soon
You have a certain standard that you expect in a partner: decent, respectful and someone to move at your pace. That's a perfectly reasonable combination of desires. At the same time, your partners will have their own combination that they are looking for. Unfortunately, having a mismatch on either party's expectations will doom the relationship unless you can both come to a compromise.
Do you feel like you you have the traits that he was looking for? If not, is it something you can improve? If it's something out of your control (your looks, for instance), then it might be a waste of your effort if he cant look past that. Otherwise, if he is looking for something you might not be comfortable now, like having the relationship move at a pace that isn't acceptable to you, it is imperative to make this clear to him.
Remember, you have stated yourself that you're worried about getting older. This may well be the same sentiments felt by the men you date. If they feel that someone is acting coy, it might signal to them that you're not being serious. Communication is key, and if you both understand that you want this to be fruitful and for the long term, both parties need to compromise. You do not need to carry on at a pace that is too uncomfortable for you, but you need to assure him that you are committed and need more time for physical intimacy to become part of it.
@neatBlueberry5213
Well, there's your set of expectations and then there's the man's set of expectations. It's ok if they don't line up and one of you decides to move on. From the sound of it, you two weren't compatible and he might have saved you both some time.
As a man, I consider myself decent and respectful but I feel I've lost out on some dates due to going too slow. It happens. For most guys, even at this age, sex is still an important aspect of the relationship. View that how you want, but it is a reality.
Stick to what you believe in, what your gut tells you, and you'll be fine. I know it can be frustrating at times, but nothing can be forced on anyone and you have to let go when things don't go your way.
Good luck!
some people can be inconsiderate when it comes to women's feelings. Just remember it's not your fault. There is someone out there for you but let mr right find you. Feel free to message me for 1-1
@neatBlueberry5213
Aw I am sorry. It's disheartening when someone decides to end things because of differing expectations around physical intimacy. Everyone has their own individual preferences and boundaries when it comes to relationships. It may feel discouraging, but try not to let this experience define your entire dating journey. There are many people out there who are looking for meaningful connections and are willing to take things at a pace that feels comfortable to both partners. It might take some time and patience to find the right person, but it's not impossible
We are in different countries that's why.
I completely understand! It is a very hard journey to be on. I can relate. I’m there too.
It's normal to feel sad when you try from your end and things still don't go the way you want! Also, growing age can make you feel anxious but you must remember your not alone, if you need someone to listen to your thoughts you can always talk to me.