Divorcing my best friend....
My wife and I were having problems and going through a divorce, I had already put down payment on another home and was about to move out. In the middle of this I learned she was going out and seeing another man, she swears that nothing happened between them and that they were getting together to just talk. I give her the benefit of the doubt and believe her. At the time I didn't though, I assumed she was going out seeking a romantic relationship. I sought out for people to talk to like I am now, the difference is I stumbled apon dating websites, I started looking for anyone that would give me attention. I figured she was seeing someone new so why did it matter if I did, so I thought. Well I ended up hooking up with someone I met online, and the day before I moved out, we talked and decided to give us another try and work things out. She ended up finding out about the other woman, and the lies I was telling g her to keep this information from her. Now the trust has been broken, and our relationship is wishy washy at best. I love her more than anything and I know she still loves me, but now it seems like she is always in her head about our relationship. It seems like I can't do anything right anymore. I know she loves me for the fact she knows everything that happened during our divorce and she still wants to work things out. She tells me I do nothing to make her feel special and that I don't respect her. Her love language is acts of service, so I've been trying to do things around the house (dishes, laundry, general cleaning, taking care of the kids) so she doesn't really have to lift a finger and worry about that type of stuff. I figure if she doesn't have to worry about house chores and things like that she can focus more on us and rebuilding our relationship. I'm not a perfect person by any means, but I do want to be the partner she deserves. I mess up, I forget things alot, I get defensive whenever we talk, but I'm trying to better myself. She says I'm not trying and only focuses on the negative. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm trying but she makes me feel like I'm not doing enough to keep us together. I now feel like I'm in this by myself and she is the one that doesn't want us to be together now. I don't know what to do, we have 2 kids together and I want nothing more than to grow old with my best friend and raise our kids together.
@Fowlcore that sounds very tough and complicated indeed. Sounds like you both still very much attached to each other but she is obviously still hurt.
You're trying your best but it takes 2 to tango. Hope things will get smoother with both of you and forgiveness can be working on. All the best!
Hello, this does sound very hard indeed, but it’s brave and hopeful to try and try again. Have you read anything about the five love languages? It sounds to me like you’re communicating differently. And have you considered couples therapy as this could be a helpful, safe space for you to both talk and be heard?
Well...........In my case I am alone and lookinfg for someone to come in my life......what you guys think of I am 43 male.....do you think i should go for having new life partner in this age or i should live my life as it is ??
@jayen009
What do you feel best for you? Jump back into a new relationship right away or take sometimes to heal first? What are other options available? What's the pros and cons?
I know how you feel. I have been there. I have been through a divorce. I was doing a lot of stuff to not earn her trust like cheat and was in an alcoholic blackout and beat her. We eventually got divorced a few years later after her brother passed away. We eventually got back together and got remarried. It took time and a lot of working things out. We are in a better place now but it did take a lot of time and effort especially the second time around. It took time the second time around to not bring up mistakes we had made, mainly her doing it to me but I was guilty too, in the first marriage.
Dear, I can feel ur pain... It's so hard getting away from someone u r so deeply attached to 😖.. And u called her ur best friend.. it seems really painful that u guys are getting divorced.. Listen to me, First of all, all the love u feel for her, show it.. let her know . Even if u feel like pleading, begging to her to stay, do it.. let her know how much it's killing u to get away from her. Second thing, U said, now you've started feeling like maybe she doesn't want u. Man, remove this doubt from ur head, n don't speak a word like this to her.. Otherwise this doubt will stop u from getting ur love. U have to trust her, u really wabt her right? Let her.know how much u need her.❤️ She'll get molten for sure, once she gets to know much u r dying to be with her.. Trust me.. Trust her, se loves u, but she's hurt enough to not be be able to trust u. So show her.. ur love.. let her.know, the distance bw u is killing u, u need her. Go man, all d best.. Wishing u all d support n love❤️🙌🏻
