I'm so angry. I'm just so bitter.
I don't even know where to begin. My husband is an alcoholic, and a narcissist, emotionally and mentally abusive. I am filing for a divorce. We have been together since I was 19. I'm 43. We have 3 children together.
I am so sorry to hear that you and your husband are going through such a difficult situation. Acknowledging and confronting emotional and mental abuse and making the decision to file for divorce takes a lot of courage. It is very important to put your safety and the safety of your children first. Remember, you are not alone and there are resources available to help you during this process. Consider seeking support from a therapist, domestic violence hotline, or local abuse survivor support groups. You deserve to be in a safe and healthy environment with hope of healing and moving forward.
@limeGrapefruit1132I hear you loud and clear. I understand the emotions that you are experiencing frustration, hurt, and confusion. However, I admire that you took that first big step, sharing your voice on this platform. Although you stated that you do not know where to begin, you have already started. We have resources that are available to you; you are not alone.
@limeGrapefruit1132
It is easy to be bitter and angry after being with someone that long...
I too am in your shoes been with since i was a teen when we met and NOW wish i had never met him
also he is an alcoholic and narcissist........
is the anger about time wasted or just the hoops it takes to take things apart? i was angry at myself for awhile because i stayed so long
@limeGrapefruit1132
It takes a lot of courage to recognize and acknowledge the issues in a relationship, especially after so many years together. Filing for a divorce is a brave step forward, and I hope that you have access to the support and resources you need during this time. Leaving a long-term relationship can be incredibly challenging, but it's important to remember that you are not alone in this.
Are there any resources or support systems available to you that you have been able to lean on? Try searching for some close by, they can really help.
Hi @limeGrapefruit1132, I can relate to feeling that anger and bitterness from separating from my alcohol & narcissistic ex/son's father. He drove me INSANE for the years we were together. He hurt me verbally & physically. He also abused me financially by stealing my money for alcohol and stealing my car. He gaslighted me, making me feel CRAZY for being upset that he would be away from home and come back at like 2 or 3 in the MORNING. It was always MY fault, despite him being ugly towards me, and me trying to work things out and trying to be reasonable.
You can NOT reason with a narcissist though.
At least now, you no longer will have to deal with him soon.
You're getting a divorce, and you're going to have your sanity back. If anything, that calls for a celebration!
FINALLY, you're FREE from his shackles.
FINALLY, you don't have to endure the emotional & mental abuse that your ex husband put you through.
You're worth a lot and deserve the best!
Spoil yourself, go out with friends or family.
Live your new life and ignore your ex's BS.
If your kids are young/not adults yet and you need to communicate with him based on custody, take a record of EVERYTHING he says to you and use it in court.
If he's an alcoholic, narcissistic a-hole, then he's DEFINITELY not fit to parent either. See if you can get full custody and get rid of him in your life for good.
Alcoholics & parenting don't mix and is a safety concern that should be brought up in court.
I no longer have ANY contact with ex/son's father.
I have a restraining order.
He was given unlimited visitations for son(I have full custody) BUT, he was inconsistent with the visitations, and even ditched son at one of his appointments after he got mad at me (my son is a toddler btw).
My ex wanted to either get back together OR/AND have me take of the restraining order off. I was TOO lenient with him in the past, because he is my son's father, but I'm not anymore.
I'm dating a man that I really enjoy his company, he's a single father, and.... I'm enjoying whatever we have right now. It's lovely. We were friends a year prior to that, so this romantic aspect is different.
I wish you the best of luck, limeGrapefruit1132. 🍀
You deserve the best, and it's OK to feel that anger btw, it's very normal in the beginning. Overtime, you'll heal and you'll hardly ever think about him. He'll be but a small speck in your memory.
I do recommend going to domestic violence support groups to talk about your feelings and to gain any resources you need(ex..childcare/schooling, low-cost or free legal advice, low-cost or free therapy, housing assistance, job assistance, food assistance, medical help, transportation, etc etc ). Just Google search "domestic violence hotline" and they can direct you to the right place(because I do not know what country you hail from). I've been going, and it's been helping me heal.
Take care friend! ✨🌻
