Need to live him to make kids happy
Hi 43 year old female, with husband 19 years have 2 kids 16, and 14 with him.
Over last year or more( juring covid) husband as been taking weed on a daily basis, it has changed who he is..... He has become a self centered person who only talks about him self and his feeling. 4 weeks ago he got a weird strain of weed and he sent him in to what I can I only describe as " lost the plot" mode .... He stared writing on the kitchen walls of what was in his head, start saying he has a long lost twin brother who died( no he doesn't) also told me his mum died ( again she didn't 🙄) and so on! My kids seen this and hear him every day shouting at me calling me a stupid bi@#h and other nasty things. Kids want me to leave him.
I've tried to help him buy stopping him having access to money so he can't buy weed or drink as he turns nasty when he drinks ( verbally) , but each day is getting more and more unbearable.... Inwhat to leave him for the sake of my kids but I do love him but I don't think we van be fixed.
He keeps telling me I need counseling.... And I do but he thinks he is fine!!!
HELP 😭
Hi my name is Kacey. I believe based on what you have said that you definitely should leave, because he refuses to acknowledge even the Possibility that These Things couuld be caused by his use of that drug.. And it sounds to me like the safety of not only yourself but that of you're kids at risk so please think about This option
@blueCake8161 I believe that Kacey is right. It definitely true that they aren't acknowledging that they need help and are acting selfishly, even if you love them you shouldn't be in a toxic relationship, for what good will that do? Especially if you have two children, and you know it will hurt them less because they are even accepting that you two aren't really well together. You should really consider the option of moving on from them unless they are willing to accept help and willing to change themselves. They also have 0 rights to offend you because of their own wrongs, and have no right to hurt someone else because they have been hurt, if they don't even try to change then they can only try to judge someone else because of how they feel. Do what you feel is best, but remember that even when loving someone, what you know is best is the right option.
❤️@blueCake8161- Oh dear. As the spouse of a partner with long term marijuana use - my heart goes out to you. Marijuana can cause psychosis and schizophrenia along with a host of other mental health issues. He is gaslighting you about therapy. Please find a safe place to land with your children and yourself. It will NOT get better, believe me. Unless he is committed to treatment, counseling and quitting weed. I wish you strength and hope you have support during this unsettled time. You deserve to live in peace and harmony. ❤️
@blueCake8161
It's tough when someone that close to you totally changes their attitude and behavior in weird and unpleasant ways. It's also hard to know what -- or how much -- to do about it. If he has become more self-centered, do you just accept it? Or wait it out until he gets back to normal? What if normal never comes back for him? So many possibilities, so few certainties ... and feeling that your world is being shaken in a major way (maybe even shaken completely apart) makes it much harder to cope.
I think your husband may be right about you needing a therapist, even if he's suggesting it for the most wrong of reasons. Even if you were expert in both mental illness and chronic drug abuse, you'd be too involved in the situation to make good decisions! We can provide *support* (caring, good thoughts and prayers, listening) ... but it sounds like you might need some good *advice* as well.
I wish you and your family well.
Get out. I say this in the most loving and sincere way I can. GET. OUT. before it's too late. As someone who's grown up in a home like that. It will damage your kids completely. Save yourself and your babies. Leave. If he wants to get better for you guys, he would have. The fact he can say those things to you infront of your kids. Says enough. Leave him. Before you can't. I wish you the best of luck. 🖤
@blueCake8161
Hi There... leaving this type of situation will only lead to benefits for you and your children. You need to be empowered as a Mom - your hubby sounds like a man child. Definitely get some counselling for yourself; it helps (I know from experience.) Take care of yourself and don’t take on that which diminishes your joy in this life - it’s too short. 💗
Are sure he is only smoking weed? Because the way he is acting is not like anyone I've ever seen on weed. And I've seen a to n of people on weed, myself included, I was a weed smoker for 20+ years. Not once have I ever seen or heard of anyone acting like that from weed. It sounds more along the lines of crack or methamphetamine. I know that's probably hard to hear but if he's writing on the walls what's in his head and stuff like that he's definitely on something harder than marijuana. Sorry