Why am I crying over a jerk?
I recently started dating someone that I met online. He seemed great at first. I didn't know him long but he seemed like my perfect match.
Things went wrong when I asked him what he would like to do for his birthday. He told me that he couldn't see me that weekend because he would be busy doing laundry and chores. I was totally dumbfounded and told him that I would find someone else to spend the weekend with.
We didn't speak over the weekend. On Monday, I tried to call. He didn't answer. On Tuesday I called and left a message asking why he didn't want to see me anymore. When he called back, I didn't answer.
The next day he called again. I thought I would get an answer or an apology. Instead I got a lecture about ignoring his call. A few days later I got a text asking me if I wanted to "discuss my actions in order to have a relationship with him."
I know ignoring his call was rude, but was this really my fault? I don't believe he was really doing laundry all day. My friends say he is just an idiot. But all of my relationships end with some weird misunderstanding. I can't help wondering if I am the problem.
You're not the problem, although I wouldn't have said I'll spend the weekend with someone else.
I go by men's actions more than their words. If he didn't wanna spend his birthday with me, I'd feel like he wasn't that into me and just leave him alone. I like to let men come to me. That way you know if they want you. Life is too short to be chasing unsure people. Spend it with people who can't wait to see you. Take care 🙂
Thanks. I know I didn't handle it well, but no one has ever dumped me for their laundry before. That makes no sense.
I get it. It's a crush to the ego, but still...there are so many other men out there that would rather be with you than their laundry lol. You gotta laugh at life sometimes. Me? I'm perfectly fine with everybody in the world not liking me.
With not everybody in the world liking me. There...that sounds right 😄😂
Regardless of who is at fault, it sounds as if you are both toxic for each other. If either of you is unable to communicate honestly, or unable to communicate at all, then there is nothing healthy about the relationship.
@PestoPasta8973 agree with you. Both are toxic for each other.
@lyragirl22
"...he would be busy doing laundry and chores."
He obviously puts doing laundry and chores above spending time with you. You should be grateful he is exposing himself so clearly at such an early stage. Do I need to say anything else?
@lyragirl22
Wait! Bruh was telling you he will do laundry and chores on his birthday weekend? Just the whole weekend, no breaks to text you or give you a call back?? And then he had the audacity to lecture you about not picking up? Like fine lets say he was super busy with it, why the lecture though?
I must agree, this sounds like you two are not a good match and just because something was working in the past doesnt mean you have to deal with some bs in the present/future.
At then end you will have to decide what is the best course of action for you. So my advice would be to think about if this will make you happy in the long run and what is it that you expect from relationships in general :)
you’re not… this guy is actually a jerk… there’re definitely better guys out there and you’ll find or get one … don’t stresss babe
@lyragirl22 You already labelled him a jerk and yet you're here seeking people's pov in this whole matter? Look dear oh-so woke, appreciate small good things in life and be grateful about them. Get rid of this male bashing tendencies and those "all men are the same" encore of mind. If he's the jerk, you don't sound too harmonious either.
@lyragirl22
Hi
u dont know if he was really doing laundary or what..but you can surely tell that he is not giving you 100%..If someone really cares for another person then one has to show it.
@lyragirl22
i dont know whether he is an idiot or not, but definately you should have communicated better. you could have easily said that let me come over and help you with your chores and then we can celebrate your birthday. sometimes , just your gesture is enough. if you wont learn to communicate , every one would sound like an idiot only.
You’re not an idiot. It sounds like he’s creating conflict where there is none. I’m glad you were able to see that red flag and hope you put a stop to it. No one deserves to be the subject of mind games. Please protect yourself.
@lyragirl22
Ahh, this guy is the epitome of the term "[removed]"...
You aren't doing anything wrong, some guys are just like that. As a guy myself, I can promise you that you did everything right and he was most likely cheating on you. Don't feel down about it because this guy has no idea what he's missing out on.
The only thing that can heal a broken heart is time, so just hang in there and remember not to drop your crown because you are ROYALTY!
Edited by AffyAvo Oct 20, 2022
