Loneliness
Researchers have found that loneliness is just as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes per day.
Lonely people are 50 percent more likely to die prematurely than those with healthy social relationships.
So every one Talkers and Listeners keep up your good work, this is real productive work.
@Shazd
I feel like having been living alone in a constant struggle has me in such an indescribale mindset. Im handicapped by a painful bone desease, financially after bills im left with ten dollars so i have to choose clean laundry or gas for my car. I must wear my clothes as long as possible, im so depressed that im nausious and so discouraged because thete seems to be nothing i can say to friends to get them to understand how dire my situation is. So i get tons of suggestiins that i cannot do for reasons they just dont have that level of understanding. It took me a long time suffering to even find a way to survive my day to day, and each day i know it will not take much to knock me down for good. As years are going by, my health has deteriorated and my Will power dispeared, and im numb inside contimplating su a side, been long past the days of anxiety, ideation, and hospital adnissions, long past reaching out because i realized all my suffering,breaching out, following the recomendation i had the resources to follow, that i now see the system is designed to only appear to help. Communicating this falls on deaf ears, peoole who have not been in this kind of forsaken situation simply cannot understand on the levels needed to remind themselves as processing that no resources means, no gas to drive to therapy which was a waste of time because i return to an empty home, in pain, no social life, cant spend a dime, sitting wondering what i can possible create without anything to build on
@juliak1968 I am sorry to hear you have so many challenges in life. That must be very painful.
A friend is in a similar situation and they reach out to a food pantry and assistance. They hate to do that but it helps them get by.
@juliak1968 I read your thoughts, and my heart goes out to you. Have you tried social network to do online relationships with your political interests for example. I by no means want to diminish your situation, my situation is somewhat similar when it comes to loneliness, but it is because I lost my husband due to lung cancer 6 months ago and have been impacted financially. Please let me know if you have tried support groups which I have reached out to several depression support groups thru it. And please let me know if there is anything I can do. You may qualify for food stamps? Or Medicaid? It sounds like you have been thru the behavioral health game that is played. It is discouraging to say the least, but know that I send you special hugs and concern.
@wittyCherry8718 we are all in this together And since the onslaught of the virus all of us are getting a lesson on isolation and loneliness,and how much we all need each other good or bad.
@juliak1968
I have been there and done that. It SUCKS! I don't know where you are, but I live by myself in the middle of the desert wilderness in a cabin (by choice, now). If you were in my area, a ride into town would only be a phone call away. You have my empathy . . .
@Shazd yes loneliness is a world wide problem. That is one of the reason how 7cups helps people.
Here is more on the problems of loneliness
@soulsings thanks for sharing
@soulsings- what a timely post- now the whole world is isolated- and learning how to cope with quarantines!! I am thankful for 7 cups- and hearing other people's stories during this time.
@barncat thanks for your shout out. Yes I would rather this thread was totally irrelevant and the virus did not happen but the only way is forward.
If you have not joined the subcom you can do that here
https://www.7cups.com/home/50plus/
You are also welcome to join in open chat or discussions at these times in the pop up Fifty Plus room
@soulsings- thank you for the reminders- I have followed those subcommites- very helpful
@Shazd thank you for sharing this important information
@Shazd I agree that loneliness is very bad for our health. And now, because of coronavirus crisis, we must isolate self and it can cause loneliness.
@gentleSun78 I have found there are ways to isolate without feeling cut off from the world. That is possible I think though maybe not easy.
@soulsings
Great toppic! I hope your doing well. I know we all are worried and must face a lot of fears now-a-days. Please do share any tips. Im really feeling the pressure of this virus. We have a picnic table out back which was a nice place to sit in the sun today. I must force nyself to shop asap because im out of supplies. Its hard for me to breath through the mask. The fear of seeing everybody wearing them get my asthma going, so i quickly start sweating and coughing and that gets people looking at me so my social anxiety and low selfesteem all combines to make it so hard. I cant afford to get delivery any more, its $20 each time i do that.
Any tips and advice are appreciated. I was thinking i might have to drink a half pint of something just to shop, but i know i better not.
Blessings!!🌞🖐
@juliak1968 thanks for your post.
It must be difficult with asthma. Glad you made it through shopping okay.
@soulsings
I only was able to buy distilled water for my apnea machine. I was so paniced that i could barely breath so i went in the pharmacy, grabbed 2 gallons and announced "this is a no contact transaction" i put $6 on the counter and said "keep the change" and got out of there as quickly as i could and came straight home. I saw so many brave people and wish i could be have as brave, im trying to put it in the right perspective so i can function soon. 🤗😊
@juliak1968 well I am glad you got the distilled water for your machine.
Do you have enough food also?
@soulsings
Im out of food except for cans of pineapple slices, but am gearing up to go shopping Monday or Tuesday if i can stay calm and keep my asthma under control. A total lack of food will be the motivation i need lolz I wish i hadnt waited to fully run out, but i am hopefull i can do this soon😊
@juliak1968 some people order from amazon or other food delivery services. Is that an option for you? Maybe the grocery store would let you order and then pickup like Walmart does.
@soulsings
I have my new kn95 mask now and one pair of gloves so im planning to get my bravery on over 1 of the next few days. I will buy as much as i can of dry and canned foods, then get fruits and lunch meats and bread....and some snacks could help 👍😉🌟
I will post here once i get my missi9n ackomplished.
Stay strong, home, and safe!
Blessings to all 🎼🤗🤗🤗🎼
@juliak1968 good luck. Waiting on your shopping report. Take care.
@soulsings
I failed today, but ate well 😁
I ordered a double steak calzone lolz
I will try to shop soon before im out of money
Blessings🖐🖒
@juliak1968 good luck getting your shopping trip in
@soulsings
I really must admit im cowardly about shopping still. I cringe every time i order food delivery. Ive spent a small fortune on delivered meals and i cant really put that into the right perspective yet. If i get covid 19 i have very little chance of survival due to all my health problems and in my mind i had to decide to spend the money. It would be of no use to me if i got sick and i really believe im doing the right thing (at least that's what im telling myself). Im either very smart doing this, or very stupid and not brave. Im justifying it because i have been avoiding a total anxiety & asthma attack. I really tried a few times and i felt volitile edgy and panic so bad i could barely breath. I guess i dont want to put myself in that much of a stressful situation quite yet. Im still trying to figure out the numbers recovered against the total number of cases ect ect. I cant watch much news but i know its important to stay informed, and they keep saying "Stay strong & Stay home" It just seems to be my safest path i can deal with for now. Im trying to be creative: tonight i bought KFC chicken and 5 sides so i could make 4 days of meals for $22. Its the best ive done so far (5.50 per day is great). If i mix in some canned goods like corn and refried beans i can stretch it another day. Sorry i practically wrote a book, but i had to admit this to myself and read it (justify it). A big blessing for your concern, i used this post to help myself try to relax and not stress my choice....for now 🤗😊
God bless - Stay strong and safe!
@juliak1968- hope you have been able to get out- with success. I found that staying in longer really impaired me- so finally went out for some provisions. Helped a little bit. I do have to say that my mouth watered when you mentioned KFC- where I live there are no fast foods. Hope you enjoyed those meals. HUgs.
@barncat
Thank you, yes they were pretty good. I'm sorry you dont have those options there. I discovered grubhub and if you put in your zip code on that site, you may find thete are places that would deliver hot meals. I can see how my prolonging going out is making it harder to push myself to go. Am i being safe or too scared?? Its just that im very high risk. Breathing is difficult on my good days so i need to avoid exposure. Im so convinced from what im seeing that people have no idea how to be truly safe. Avoiding Cross contamination is a skill that takes real training to master and i see so many people shrugging off the risks.
Stay safe as possible, I hope to get a day soon where i feel i can safely attempt shopping. Blessings & hugs👍🤗😊
Hi im wondering if you have access to Facebook and a local neighborhood site as they often also have ppl delivering for free if you get the msg out there. @juliak1968
@creativeMelon4785
Hi, Thank you for the good advice. Im hoping to soon push myself out to shop. I dont have much choice. This is the only website i use so its as close to social media as ive been brave enough to use so far. I may have to put my banking online so i can use amazon pantry or peapod to get groceries delivered.
Blessings😊🤗
@juliak1968 you sound better And more cheerful There's hope in the sunshine
Loneliness is a reminder we all need each other in conflict and in joy. We survive on our interactions with each other. What a smile and a simple hello
can do.
I've just read everyone's comments. This is all so difficult, but it seems like just being here and expressing your concerns and fears, means you are pointing yourselves in the right direction. For me, I moved to a new city six months ago, started a new job, and started my divorce (was final March 10). Now single and living in a small apartment in a city where I know few, and surviving COVID (I was 'severe') and now my lungs are damaged (as a long-distance runner, just terrible), I too, feel much loneliness. I've gone through so many emotions. Thankfully, I have not (yet) lost my job and I'm able to work from home, but everything just feels like I've funneled down a tunnel with no real end in sight. I hate weekends, and I really miss touching someone. I've been isolated (first quarantined, then self-isolation) for 42 days today.
@SuzieQ1 thanks for sharing your story. The more I hear stories like yours I realize so many people are suffering in these times. There are times when there is much darkness. And grief for loss of abilities we once counted on as support.
I used to go to exercise classes but now I tend to go to youtube and do 5 minute tai chi. It is more like 5 minute Flow exercise gentle and easy and energizing.
It must have been rough to be so sick and to be alone. You are remarkable for having the fortitude and healing ability to get through this. They say recovery takes longer than people expect. The body is wonderful at recovering from difficult situations. People who smoked for a long time have stopped smoking and their lungs repaired themselves. There is hope for all of us that things will get better.
Thursday we have a fifty plus group discussion at 3:30 and mindfulness discussion at 5PM EDT. Would be great to see you at a discussion if that appeals to you. Here is the discussion area (rooms open 5-10 minutes before discussion begins) https://www.7cups.com/connect/groupChatrooms.php
On weekends, I find that there are some helpful self help guides here https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php
@SuzieQ1- my heart goes out to you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You must be incredibly resilient to be ALONE for 42 days. How did you actually do it? I hope you had a support system that you could tap into that transcended actually being in the same place. It humbles me to hear your tenacity. You are not alone- this is a very caring community.
I'm trying to do my best to connect with friends and family online / chat / zoom / facetime. In some ways my relationships have gotten deeper b/c we're sharing so much emotion during this tough COVID crisis time.
@AmyDHereToListen that is great that you are staying connected with friends and family. This is a time that has prodded me to live in new ways. As I let go of the past and adapt I am starting to feel better about life.
I hate the lonliness the most. I have a family, but I always feel that my inability to work ( or hold on to jobs because of Bipolar) makes me real sad. I love the cammraderie of work when I can do it, and yet dread it cause it always falls apart for me. So I feel lonely sometimes cause through the lens of anxiety and depression, I want to hide from people. I will even go so far as saying that I feel I am a bad/broken person because I have bipolar and that I want to 'save' people from me.
@StrangeFroot you are welcome here as you are. That is one thing I like about 7cups is it lets you be as you are. You can always do volunteer work until you feel ready to get back n the work force.
I am so alone. I never learned how to make or keep friends. I accept that I never will. It's comforting that this might cause a more rapid end