Spheres of Influence
If youre prone to hypothetical worry (i.e., the ‘what if? thoughts), you may find it helpful to practice noticing these thoughts and then redirecting your attention to things within your control. Research shows that when we shift our focus to what we can control, we see meaningful and lasting differences in our wellbeing, health, and performance. Remember: You cannot stop hypothetical worries from occurring, but you can control your response to them.
Using the table below as inspiration:
- What do you have control over in your life?
- What are the things you cannot control outside of your life,
| Within My Control | Outside My Control |
| •Building resilience • Following the latest information and advice • Focusing on whats important to me • My information diet • My routine • Relaxation • Cultivating connection • Eating well • Exercising • Seeking and offering support |
• Other peoples decisions • Other peoples health • The news • The governments actions • Schools opening or closing • The state of the healthcare system • Flights and holidays being canceled • Traffic • Public transport • Aging • The weather |
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@DanaMH this is a great thread. We did this in the business world and it is amazing how much it can ease my mind just focusing on things that are actually in my control.
Thanks for this
@soulsings
You are welcome! With the virus going on I had to figure out what I was actually in control of in my life.
Great thread, Thank you for sharing
@Goldcherry2113
You are welcome!
@DanaMH, What an interesting thread. I was just listening to a talk by a guru called Sadhguru from India. He spoke about something similar to your thread.
@faithlove1111
I agree. Once the virus started I had to figure out what I had control of and not. It is amazing what we can do at our houses and then after we are allowed to leave what we can control and what we can't.
@DanaMH , So true. When we are indoors, we have to deal with our family members and our own emotions and behaviour but when we are finally allowed out, we have many different things to deal with Ourselves and whole lot of people around us. Fear , frustrations , worry can seep in very easily. So indeed , it's very helpful to be clear about what is within and what is not in our choice and control.
yes, great reminded i have the power over a lot of things in my life.
@barncat
That is so true.
this is a good post. The phrase information diet resonates with me. the nature of my work requires that I stay informed, but I've had to figure out how to balance too much information and to seperate the good from the bad.
Thank you for the ideas for thinking about what isin our control and what is not.
@MissPen
Separating the good from the bad is really importing in our lives. Finding what we do have control of helps us also because there is lots of stuff that we worry about that isn't in our control at all.
@MissPen nice to see you in your post. take care
What do you have control over in your life? Nothing.
What are the things you cannot control outside of your life, Everything.
@Offmytrack
Here is a link that might give you some ideas of things that you can control.
@DanaMH Mostly just depressed me. The woman has a husband, I do not have a wife. Many things didn't have any relation to me.
@Offmytrack
Sorry to hear that
Thanks @DanaMH I am pretty sure things will get better eventually.
@DanaMH
Thank you for this post. I am a "what if" worrier. And I worry about EVERYTHING which emotionally causes me a lot of turmoil. I know that no matter what, I can only control what is me, I just find it very hard to turn away from everyone and everything else influencing my thoughts. Got any ways to practice this? I need to start somewhere.
@thoughtfulmomma
What I did was make a list like the above of the things that I can control and the things that I can't control.
@DanaMH
I feel like the things I can control will be very short. :) Yesterday I started with one thing. "I can control my breathing." So whenever something was starting to trigger my anxiety I'd start telling myself "I can control my breathing, I can control my breathing." And I'd just focus on that. I'm hoping that if I can get a handle on that one thing, I'll be able to add things to that list. So if I feel loss of control on things, I'll have a few tools I can reach for that will help.
It's funny that I'm writing this now and something is triggering my anxiety. :) Guess I need to take a moment and breathe.