50+ Check-In July 25-28, 2022
Happy Monday to everyone, I wish you a peaceful week ❤️
When I was young I found it very hard to accept any kind of compliment even at work and sometimes had the tendency to downplay what was said without realizing that the person meant it in an honest way. Of course there are people who give compliments to achieve their goals but some people do mean it honestly and feel hurt when it is not accepted.
How do you feel if someone shows appreciation to you? What is the most difficult thing about receiving compliments?
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How do you feel if someone shows appreciation to you? What is the most difficult thing about receiving compliments?
Depends on what it's given for. Sometimes may be hard to accept because a part of me may feel like I don't deserve it... I have to remind myself that I am authentically myself and deserve to be praised. I think it has to do with how I was raised...was criticized and called ugly names when I was growing up. It's in the past, done and gone...but some things are wired in very deep. I might not heal all that in this life time but I do remind myself that I am a precious life here too... no matter how I came into this world, I'm here. And all lives are precious, including me.
The best thing to do is smile, let it in and say a kind thank you 😊
@EmbStitcher33
I'm very glad that you see yourself for what you are now - a precious person - and not what you've been told.
@amiablePeace77. I don’t get too many compliments so it is very surprising when I hear one. I received some here at 7cups and it took me by surprise. I’m trying to learn to accept complements gracefully.
@adventurousBranch3786
You are worthy of each compliment branch, you give a wonderful support here!
Compliments make me feel good, validated in some way. Especially when a member on 7 cups says that we had a good conversation and that it was helpful. If anything we should compliment each other more frequently.
@endearingLion70
I hear you, it just feels good when you hear from a member that they feel good about a chat. Giving an honest compliment does not cost us anything but can mean so much for another person so I agree to more compliments!
@amiablePeace77
How do you feel if someone shows appreciation to you? I struggled for years accepting compliments. Feeling worthy and accepting a compliment also is a gift to the other person giving it.
What is the most difficult thing about receiving compliments? Stop trying to be a person that is a nobody that can do nothing well. See what the other person is giving you a gift. I do not refuse gifts anymore because it breaks the other person's heart.
@soulsings
I agree. We deprive the other person the joy of giving when we don't open our hearts to accept their gift. The Bible even says, "there's more happiness in giving than in receiving." So it's been with us for time immemorial. It's in our genes. So SMILE and embrace that gift with enthusiasm when appropriate to boost that joy!
(Lord knows we need more these days).
@EmbStitcher33 I agree so let the people have the joy of giving.
@soulsings
HERE, HEAR!! I second, third and forth that Soul!! ❤️ 😁
@soulsings
Nice that you accept the gift of compliments now. It's true, people who give an honest compliment can feel sad or even wonder what they did wrong when it is rejected.
@amiablePeace77
And rejection is really horrible to feel. Showing appreciation you could say, is your thank you gift back. 😊
It can bring light & warmth to a sad soul. What a gift that is.
How would I feel if someone would compliment me? If someone acknowledged what I do on an everyday basis?
Wow! I don't know if I would believe it! I don't know if it would be enough.
I don't think I ever felt like what I did was enough. I felt like I was never enough. I was aways told that I needed to Do more. Be more.
@philosophicalAcai7803
Whoever told you that you're not enough was not telling the truth because you are enough, we all are! Hearing those things as a child or even as a young adult over and over again can lead to becoming an adult always striving for perfection which is very unhealthy and destructive. Have you ever considered to write down all the things you did in your life which went well, even the smallest one? One big thing would surely be coming here and reaching out for help!
@amiablePeace77
thank you! It actually started with my mother! She kept telling me the phrase "if only you would..." as in "if only you would lose 5 pounds" "If only you would get an A in math", "if only you would finish your bachelor's degree", if only you would find the right man",
My mother is a Social Worker, with all the right letters after her name, in private practice. She knows better! I know this now, but growing up with it, and hearing it over and over, did some major damage to my self-esteem. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I have felt that nothing i ever did was good enough for her. And yes, I tried.
Finally, after 50-plus years, I stopped caring. But it took her siding with my daughter for that to happen. When my daughter decided I was a toxic person and blocked me from her life, no longer allowing me to see her child, and bashing me on social media, my mother chose to believe every word my daughter said. That was my last straw.
I do feel better not having to try to live up to unattainable standards. I am working on my self-esteem. But it is going to take some time.
@philosophicalAcai7803
Sometimes experts do not see what really happens right in front of them. It must have been incredibly hard for you to grow up and constantly be criticized whilst trying over and over again to please her. So sorry to hear about your daughter and not allowing you to see your grandchild. I'm glad that you do not give up but reach out and work on your self esteem. You've been through a lot and it's time to feel well in your own skin and love yourself for what you are - a precious human being ❤️
@philosophicalAcai7803
Your post hit a bell for me. I once was ensnared in a cult. Nothing you did was ever good enough. If you pushed yourself really hard and expected some appreciation. All you got was a well that's what you're supposed to be doing. Eventually you try so hard you break something inside. NOW, I know we ALL are precious and can look in the mirror and say, "I'm Enough!" I hope you can do that some time soon. You, just the way you are, is enough. ❤️
How do you feel if someone shows appreciation to you? What is the most difficult thing about receiving compliments?
It's hard to believe that I deserve any compliments. I didn't receive any for most of my life. I get complimented now and then these days for coming to the peer-to-peer support group meetings consistently (in the next town up from me).
@WharfRat
Nice that you finally get the compliments you deserve. I think it makes it easier to accept them knowing they come from people who want the best for you and mean it the way they say it.
@WharfRat
Going out of town to give mutual support is a wonderful thing to do. And I compliment you on that 😄 Thank you for caring.
@amiablePeace77 How do you feel if someone shows appreciation to you? I feel happy.
@Offmytrack
It's a good feeling, glad it makes you happy!
I used to like compliments but these days...ehh. Talk is cheap.
A while back, I was a vendor for a few years. I had prints made from my finished artwork, bagged them myself, & drove out to the local markets & the occasional fair with my folding tent, tables, & crates of prints & try to sell them to passersby. I got tons of compliments about how great my art was. But when it came time to buy a print or two...some did. More didn't. These days I barely pay attention to compliments.
Perhaps you could call it cynicism. But then as George Bernard Shaw once said, "Clear thinking is commonly called cynicism by those who do not possess it."
@slowdecline48
Oops, I might be one of those too slowdecline48. Many times I told an artist how wonderful their paintings are and how much I liked them but having already enough at home prevented me to buy their piece of art.
@amiablePeace77 There you go. I've seen tons of people do that...it's one reason why I stopped vending: I couldn't get it to pay consistently. When all you have to show for your effort is crates of unsold prints, & lower back & knee pain from months & years of assembly & teardown of your equipment, at some point you're just gonna say "f*** it." Why work hard when you get nothing for it?
As I've said many times, compliments are nice but they don't pay the bills!
@slowdecline48
You have a valid point slowdecline48. It does not make sense standing somewhere trying to sell but noone buys and the bills are piling up. I hope you found a different way to survive financially.