50+ community Check-in February 22-25, 2021
Happy Monday to everyone in the 50+ community. I hope you all enjoyed your weekend and you are all doing well 
When you feel lonely do you think more about that people do not care about you or about those people who do care about you?
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When you feel lonely do you think more about that people do not care about you or about those people who do care about you?
I think that people do not care about me. I have a few friends nearby and my kid is 1200 miles away and they're all super busy with their lives so I understand why I am usually the one to make contact. That's why I prefer texting to calling, less pressure for them to respond.
I believe that if someone wants me in their life, they will make the time and space for that to happen. But if they don't, I definitely do not want to be in their life, either.
@Katbtrying552
Sorry you're feeling people do not care, I want to assure you We do, hugs. Nice that you still make contact even if you do not hear from others. Today's world is "crazy", many people are just rushing, trying to do what they think has to be done. I think texting is a good idea but I also like to hear the voice of someone, so I text and ask when they have time to talk on the phone.
That’s exactly how I feel
@anchelle003
Hugs. I hope you feel cared for here 
. What have you done today for self care?
When I'm lonely I guess I think about people who are not lonely and how I can be like them or think everyone else isn't lonely. I wonder what I'm doing wrong to be lonely.or feel sad about the reasons I know of that are making me feel lonely. I guess that would be ruminating....
@HappyDucky8
Ruminating and comparing yourself with others can drive you down deeper into the the downward spiral of sadness. We see others being together with friends on social media or irl but what we often don't see is if they are really happy.
@HappyDucky8
Ruminating and comparing yourself with others can drive you down deeper into the the downward spiral of sadness. We see others being together with friends on social media or irl but what we often don't see is if they are really happy.
@amiablePeace77
i know right?
@amiablePeace77
That's why I am judicious and cautious in my consumption of Facebook, Instagram and the like. Many times, most people on those sites are showing their "highlight reel" and displaying intensely curated glimpses of their lives. We rarely, if ever, see the seamy, seedy and dissheveled sides of their life, which they also have --just like anyone else does. As you alluded to, it sets us up to create unrealistic expectations and unfair comparisons to our own "boring" lives.
@amiablePeace77
When you feel lonely do you think more about that people do not care about you or about those people who do care about you?
I definitely think more about how people don't care about me. Even if it's not true, when you're feeling down, you automatically tend to the negative.
@thoughtfulmomma
I hear you, sadly our minds like to do that. When I read your answer though this thought popped up in me: "Making a list of all the people in your life who do care and some things they did for you".
@amiablePeace77, I don't think that I think more one way or the other. I think of both.
@purpleTree4652
Glad you do not only see those who do not care but also those who care about you, like we do here on 7cups too 
I'm gonna say both. I don't get lonely oftan but if I do it's both.
@Goldcherry2113
Glad loneliness does not happen often, hope you will always remember there are people here who do care about you
@amiablePeace77 That's why I like to come on here!
@Goldcherry2113
I think COVID has been a blessing for people who pick being busy over putting time aside for family and friends. And that is so sad. My adult kids sent me a text on Valentine’s day (even though neither of them believe in texting as a means of communicating important information) that they are worried about me. Really? If they are so worried why not pick up the phone. Of course they are too busy. So sad.
@lovingPine4363
I can understand your frustration, it's not that hard to pick up the phone but I in today's world it seems like everyone is just trying to get things done. Hope you will have more contact in future.
When you feel lonely do you think more about that people do not care about you or about those people who do care about you?
Both, and especially this woman I love who doesn't want anything to do with me. Don't know how to stop this.
@WharfRat
I am so sorry to hear this and that you're struggling to get her off your mind, unrequitted love can be very painful. This is a time were you need lots of self care, self love, hugs. I hope that things will get better with time
