50+ community Weekend Check-in Nov. 29-Dec. 1, 2019
Hi lovely people in the 50+ community. 
For the weekend I like to share with you some thoughts about struggles. I hope that there will be no misunderstanding, I am not saying that you should take your struggles easy because they are not, often they are very hard or that you should be very grateful but like to invite you to give a thought to the following:
Imagine you would get everything you want, no obstacles, nothing.
Do you think that boredom could settle in easily?
Would you appreciate things the same way as if you had to work for them?
How much can you grow without challenges, how much do struggles help you to get stronger?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
I have great respect towards everyone coming here and trying to better their lives.
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Imagine you would get everything you want, no obstacles, nothing.
Do you think that boredom could settle in easily? Yes, I would get bored quickly because there is no challenge.
Would you appreciate things the same way as if you had to work for them? I find that we tend to appreciate things better when we wok for them.
How much can you grow without challenges, how much do struggles help you to get stronger? Well, if I am honest, we won't grow without struggles. Every struggle that we conquer makes us stronger and a bit more tuff skinned. No fun but, we have survived them all.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
@scarletPear1945 thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree with your views.
@SoulfullyAButterfly
Thanks, Soul
@scarletPear1945
I totally agree to your answers! We need the challenges too in our lives, we need the darkness to be able to appreciate the light.
Imagine you would get everything you want, no obstacles, nothing.
Do you think that boredom could settle in easily?
YES and No. I think "getting everything" would be very boring and stifle creativity and eliminate any sense of achievement. Wants and needs are a great motivator. OR it might be not boring trying to come up with the next thing to "get". Interesting dilema.
Can you imagine the length of Menus at restaurants? No longer a'La carte more like abracadabra!
Would you appreciate things the same way as if you had to work for them?
Assuming all is provided (only hard part was having to think what I want to be getting) would suggest that if I was unhappy with a "thing" my next "thing" would be provided magically. No work no attachment, just give me the next "thing" and I'll be happy?
How much can you grow without challenges, how much do struggles help you to get stronger
Growth would most likely be limited to Kilos and waistline. Learning and confidence comes from challenges. No challenges would suggest no learnings or individual growth.
I am gratefull for the challengers that have been placed before me even though they have been very tough. I have survived and I am stronger for that.
@oel I like how you explain your views and agree
@oel
oel, it's nice to hear that your challenges made you stronger and that you feel grateful for them instead of seeing them as just negative.
Well, I havent had it very easy in life, but I do appreciate my struggles in life. It proves to me that no matter how hard life can be you can arise above your many obstacles and become victorious. I now use my struggles to help to motivate others that you too can overcome anything if you work at it long enough. Im not saying that you should be happy in struggling but you should at least accept them and do the best you can with them.
@Favor2020 that is very motivating to hear, thanks for sharing
@Favor2020
Awesome attitude Favor!
Trying to pull myself out of deep depression.
I spent my birthday alone and broke. Thanksgiving came and left with no celebration. The snow pretty much has me in bed nursing a strained back from trying to dig out of my driveway. I got about halfway and could not take the pain anywhere.
@bgdave Hi, I'm sorry to hear that you were alone, broke, and in pain for your birthday and Thanksgiving. Is there anything that helps for your back pain?
@adventurousBranch3786 Cannabis does really help but even with my neurologist consent my paranoid Morman State voted it in a year ago for chronic illness such as my chronic spinal pain but have yet to make it available legally. I HATE UTAH! Jackass paranoid Mormons...I need to get out of this shit state. The only other thing that helps is my tens unit but it becomes very irritating after many uses and is only temporary.
@bgdave That is unfortunate my home state is conservative and they even legalized it for medical reasons.
@adventurousBranch3786 It was legalized for medical in Utah Nov of 2018 and I have a recommendation letter from my treating pain management neurologist. It is the State dragging their heals and not making up their minds implementing the system of access. If the president would sign bill H.R. 3884 things would change rapidly,
@bgdave
Hugs. Sorry to hear about your back. Hope it will heal soon.
Hello
@Moi2016 Hello also!
@Moi2016 Hi, hope you are doing well.
@Moi2016
Hi Moi, nice to meet you . How are you today?
Do you think that boredom could settle in easily?
Would you appreciate things the same way as if you had to work for them?
How much can you grow without challenges, how much do struggles help you to get stronger?
Do you think that boredom could settle in easily?
Yes, unfortunately it does, but the mind never rests...
Would you appreciate things the same way as if you had to work for them?
Yes I would very much, because I know what I had to do before, so bow I can appreciate even the sun coming out of the skies in autumn...
How much can you grow without challenges, how much do struggles help you to get stronger?
I had enough of challanges in my life, I wish I could grow on my own will not external "chaanges" and struggles...those I had plenty and then some to top the fill...
@Unknown
Hope things will get easier for you now.
Struggle is a difficult word. Struggling for air, struggling to stop a bleed, struggling with pain. Does struggling make me stronger? No. It makes me a survivor. Does it help to be a survivor? Yes and no. Yes - still here, but why? No - I am not living. Just getting through the struggles. But do you live after that? That I dont know.
@Lauren63 you put it in a great way, thought provoking. I think the compromise is trying to find some purpose. We all look forward to some things. What do you think?
@Lauren63
I agree with what you have said and I would like to initiate this point that might be helpful. The Struggle to find or get back what was violated or taken from you will be a journey from day today. But it does get better with a lot of counseling, self-help skills, and opening up to talk about the problem. As long as we remain silent the demon torments us with this fear and depression to keep us enslaved to the violator. For the length of time, I was victimized, I find that I still have moments that stuff reoccurs, but it is no way as powerful or affects me the way it uses to. It still surfaces but the effect to my head is minimal. Our bodies keep score and remember. Redirecting my thoughts helps a lot too.
@scarletPear1945 Finally someone who understands. Im sorry this is in the forum. I am in therapy, but because of the holiday in the USA I couldnt talk this week. Thats why I am here. I appreciate your kind words of support.
@Lauren63
I am glad that it helped and believe me I truly understand. Please don't beat your self up over how you are feeling. Try to see where that feeling or thought was triggered by and write it down each time. You may begin to connect some dots that have been plaguing you and begin to quit some of the voices that torment us. The journey is slow and long but we both can do this, we have to for our selves. Many hugs
@scarletPear1945 I hope youre doing ok after surgery. And if you have a blood clot in your leg please dont be walking around until you know. You dont want it to break off and move elsewhere. Feel better soon.
@Lauren63
Thank you,
@scarletPear1945 Well said!
@adventurousBranch3786
Thank you for the kind words
@Lauren63
Lauren, I hope one day you will be proud of what you accomplished as a survivor.
I am struggling with the grief this season seems to cause me to focus on every year. I must learn how to be happy again. Being lonely and alone makes my tears flow and my heart ache. I just turned 57 and don't know how to be happy anymore. The chronic spinal pain condition I now struggle with everyday now makes me pretty miserable and constantly cause me to miss work. That causes me to remain in financial crisis and wonder how I can improve my terrible depression and quality of life?
@bgdave
Dave totally understandable, Pain tends to take a lot out of us. Spine pain is the worst in my book. I just had lower spinal surgery a few months ago. Being alone and no one holds your hand during the rough times makes me depressed too. I wish we could be there with you but we send you much support and well being.
@bgdave
I wish I could change your situation bgdave but I hope that you still find some support here on the site.
Do you think that boredom could settle in easily? Yes, if I didn't have other things to do. And the boredom kind of scares me, I have no intention of ever getting bored after I retire.
Would you appreciate things the same way as if you had to work for them? Right now, I have to work for everything. My home, food, nights out with my girlfriend. And I do appreciate all the good things in my life.
How much can you grow without challenges, how much do struggles help you to get stronger? I won't grow much without challenges. I don't think that my current struggle is making me any stronger. It is a car thing, and it is driving me crazy.
@Offmytrack
Planning for retirement is important. Too many people just get into it without knowing what to do and then boredom settles in and eventually also depression. So glad to hear you're already thinking about it.
@amiablePeace77 I have had a lot of thoughts about it. The director of my department is who really made my mind up about retiring. My girlfriend helped by demonstrating all the things she can do.
@Offmytrack
Awesome. Hope your retirement will turn out as planned.
