50+ community Weekend Check-in Nove. 15-17, 2019
Hi amazing people in 50+ 
Anger is not a pleasant feeling but it can be a teacher as well. It can teach me forgiveness .
How can you take care of your anger and benefit from it?
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Anger can be a great motivator. There have been multiple times I felt like I couldn't do something but as soon as I got angry I was able to accomplish it. I find a righteous anger to be even more motivating.
@mutter3
It's amazing how we can use anger to motivate us instead of letting it harm us or others.
@amiablePeace77 I am feeling like all the energy I pour into anger is as much a waste as all the worry and grief I put into my anxiety about the future and distress about the past. So for me the question is how can I recapture that lost energy?
I guess what helps me most is to monitor my thought train and when I see an angry thought coming up I put myself on pause for a moment and take a breath. I ask if this is in response to real or imagined threat. Usually it is not even a current situation. So I keep trying not to explode in anger. And when I do I praise myself. And when I do not, I figure out what I can do next time.
@soulsings
Thank you for sharing these great insight views. I like in particular when "not to explore in anger" praise yourself but when it still happens not beating yourself up for it but see what can be done next - not let your anger consume you.
Anger can be repetative and become a habitual response. It's important to be aware of of this. We have all learnt experiencing and using anger from our childhood . As an adult , I realise there are many other emotions and feelings I can response from for the various challenging situations in my daily life. Anger is not the only platform. But it is really hard to change this habitual response. More so if we wallow in anger by replaying intimidating and frustrating scenarious in our mind. It's true anger is energy, so it is a great idea to do something physical that benefits us when we have this energy, like jogging , gardening , carpentry , cleaning, exercising , dancing, golfing.... For the moment ,Minimise your interactions with the person who has cause this anger. This is to safeguard both you and the other person. As long as you are aware that the anger you are feeling is just a habitual response but not really an actual response , then you can go about using this energy until it diminishes. Then , the other emotions and feelings become clearer and you can look at your situation from another angle. I have practised this method numerous time and my angers life span has become shorter too.
@faithlove1111
Thanks for your interesting post and I am glad to hear that you could reduce your anger. Anger can bring us awareness if we make the effort to try to understand what is the primary emotion which was felt before anger arised and that can teach us many things.
@amiablePeace77 ,Well said and so true indeed.
@amiablePeace77 In my case I don't feel angry that often and think that I would like to feel a little more anger. Not overwhelming anger but just enough to remind myself to stay away from people who have done me harm and could potentially do me harm.
@adventurousBranch3786 I would like to feel a little more anger. That's an interesting observance . Maybe it's wonderful you do not go through all the the roller coster emotional ride when you are in the middle of an angry episode but then I totally agree with you when you said anger can also be some sort of a shield and warning sign for you to stay away from harmful people or situation . In this situation , you have to be always alert so that you are the master of anger and not anger becomes your master.
@faithlove1111 Hi oh yes that's right I mean to help me to get thru a situation where I need to stand up for myself and be done with it.
@adventurousBranch3786
Sometimes we need anger to set proper boundaries. Do you find yourself having surpressed anger for a longer time?
@amiablePeace77 I don't think that repressed anger is the problem. I am thinking that a little bit of anger would be helpful for setting boundries.
@adventurousBranch3786
I hope you will be able to set them to protect your space, what is the hardest thing for you to set them?
@amiablePeace77 Everything , speaking up for myself, saying no. I have been a pushover for most of my life, but I am learning slowly how to do these things. I have been learning a lot here also.
@adventurousBranch3786
I am glad that the site helped you to speak up for yourself and set boundaries, both are essential for living in peace with yourself and others.
How can you take care of your anger and benefit from it?
I rarely get angry. When I do, I stop and think about what it was that made me angry, and why. That way, I can learn why I got angry and perhaps how to avoid getting angry about that in the future
@Offmytrack
That's a great awareness!
If I find myself getting angry about something trivial it's often a sign that I need to go eat something.
@stressBear yes when I am hungry my flight or fight response is amplified.
@stressBear
Feeling hungry is not a pleasant feeling and can lead us to get irritated much easier and this feeling can be projected on another person/situation. When I am leaving home I usually take some nuts or a banana with me to make sure I got a little thing to eat and keep also blood sugar balanced.
@amiablePeace77 In my case it's not about feeling hungry but about having low blood sugar -- like many overweight people, wanting food and needing food are kind of disconnected for me. Usually I snack a little bit all the time, but sometimes if I get involved in doing something, low blood sugar can sneak up on me when I'm not paying attention.
That's when I can get snappish without noticing. Which is usually the point where my wife tells me to go eat something.
When I get angry it reminds me to try at first to see things from the other side. It can be embarrassing to be angry with someone else only to find out you're in the wrong.
@Fraboy101
That's a very good observation, we are simply not always right and often enough there is also no right and wrong - it's just a different point of view.
Anger is not necessarily a bad thing. It can be a necessary response in certain circumstances. How you behave when you are angry is the important part. There is a benefit in anger that the calm reflection following, can help identify the source of frustration that triggered the anger and lead to positive change.
@oel
I agree, anger is trying to tell us to take care of something which might be hidden.
Anger is not a bad emotion. There are things that happen in life that you should be angry about. Especially when you couldnt control the situation. I am angry. I am happy. I hate. I love. I dont think any of the emotions is wrong. They are just how you feel about a situation or an experience. Right now, anger is what I have. I will get past it, but it may take awhile. In the meantime, I keep working to resolve the hurt. Maybe you wont understand this, but its the best I can express myself.
@Lauren63
We need all these emotions, anger relieves tension but we also need to know how to cope and see what's behind the anger to take care of the hurt.
