50+ community check-in September 27-30, 2021
Hello 50+ Community, I hope you all enjoyed the weekend 😊
Today I like to invite you to share some ideas about
What does acceptance mean to you and do you feel you need more acceptance of your current situation if it is challenging? How could you get to that point of acceptance?
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@amiablePeace77
"What does acceptance mean to you and do you feel you need more acceptance of your current situation if it is challenging? How could you get to that point of acceptance?"
Acceptance is something I've only learned in the last 10 years. Before that, I thought it meant you were ok with everything and life went on. But after counselling, I have learned that it doesn't mean you're ok with everything, and that everything is "happy happy joy joy" and move on. It's coming to terms with what's happening, that it may suck or it's good (depending on the situation), and that what it is, it's ok. And how I feel is ok, whether it's happy or frustrated or angry.
A couple things that are weighing on me, and maybe I need to reflect on those things and work on my acceptance. That I've been doing the best I can be, that rules are being followed, and am doing all I can to look after the people around me.
@Skyglider
It seems that the counseling really helped you to understand that acceptance is about coming to terms with a situation but not about just playing okay with it. I hope that with reflection you also find a way to deal with those things which weigh on you atm.
I have learned to accept that this is as good as my life is going to get. It's not very good. I rarely feel happy. I have no friends and my family never talks to me. I am isolated. I cant work, so i am extremely bored.
But hey, at least I am still alive.
Not living, but existing.
@Positron2
I wish things would be better, easier for you irl. When I come here it feels somehow like being with family, with friends. I hope you can get a similar feeling. You are loved here ❤️
I too have felt isolated, no friends, what family I had is gone with exception of my two adult children but they’re on their own paths that rarely ever include me. I’ve found some semblance of happy for myself even though I’m alone I’m okay with it now. I actually find peace in being alone. Though I do have 3 dogs, a cat & a single fish that hardly ever come out of his log. I inherited him from one of my kids. Lucky me 😂
I found acknowledging even just a moment as “good” or “enjoyable” has helped me see the happiness & contentment I do have. I’m learning to acknowledge the unpleasant because for years I chose to push it all down or out of focus so I didn’t have to deal with it unless I had a break in resolve or was too tired to hold it all in. That’s happening less frequently now that I acknowledge the things I’ve been silencing inside myself.
feel free to pm me anytime I get bored at times too 🤗
@lavenderFarm3132
Hi @lavenderFarm3132.
Maybe your fish is hiding from your cat.
@lavenderFarm3132
It's good that you started to acknowledge the things you’ve been silencing inside yourself, I hope it will help you to feel better.
This link might help to understand why your fish is hiding
@Positron2, I understand. Those are very hard things to accept. I only say that because I am living in similar circumstances. I wish you the best.
@Positron2
Friend! (I'll read the others answers to you afterwards - I guess they are good!)
Only if you want to: Each day now I'll come and pick you up in my car (which I have no longer ha.ha. - had to give it away to my brother). I'll come at 12.00 at noon. Then we'll drive to a nice cafe. We'll eat cupcake and drink coffee (or whatever you'll like). Then we'll put on some music and we'll dance on (at?) the table ALL! our sicknesses and sorrows away.
If someone else in this beautiful group of people under "peaces" leading want to come they can join us.
A nice text from Olsen Brothers: "Fly on the wings of love, fly baby fly." (You can listen to it if you want to).
From Helga.
@amiablePeace77
acceptance by lay people--found it is not possible over many decades. Okay with it. Do not feel a need to explain anything anymore.
a certain bit of understanding by professions, as to get adequate medical and psychological treatment is hard, but I work on it with what they are capable of being able to understand.
A person cannot help that they can not understand something. There is no need to be upset, frustrated or expect them to do something they just are not capable of doing.
@BlueBirdPIllow
Understanding that expecting someone to do something they just are not capable of doing is a good insight.
Acceptance to me means someone who is there to listen whether I'm being sane or not. I don't feel like I have that
@Bamafan96
I hope you will find that person here. Not feeling listened to and being judged hurts.
@amiablePeace77
What a wonderful photo - like going straight to heaven and drinking from the warm light.
@amiablePeace77
**TW**
I have prayed, suffered a lot for the last 17 years. I get worse (ME). I have given up. (Please don't tell me i must not). So I don't accept my situation.
@Helgafy
Hugs Helgafy, we are here for you ❤️
@amiablePeace77
Thank you, thank you.
@Helgafy, Helga, I love your description of the picture. You never let me down with the things you relate to heaven and God. :)
I understand your feeling of giving up. It is hard to keep going when the situation is bad. I deal with the same thoughts.
@purpleTree4652
Thank you, thank you.
@purpleTree4652
Friend. Maybe you'll not see me around so much at this site now. The leader of the site (she probably reads what I write to you but it's OK, it is all from my heart) has given me compliments for my writing to the members at 50+. But she also tells me not to quote the Bible so much. So I'm old now and it is difficult for me to find her line of expertations. You be good! From your sister in Christ, Helga.
@Helgafy
I am so sorry that things are bad for you and that even Prayer has not helped. I can truly understand where you are coming from. I too feel and struggle with my situation being as bad as it is and my life has been in constant turmoil for as long as I can remember. I have prayed and ask God to help me and to just give me a little peace and joy, but it seemed like the load got heavier. What I have begun to come to terms with is that I am stronger than I realize and that these trials come to help me become stronger. It sounds like a riddle but it is a really true fact. Problem-solving has helped me a lot. keeping just a small portion of hope in the midst of my every dark cloud. Watching and waiting for my sun to come out and light my way. I know that the storm can't last always the clouds have got to move it is the nature in which God commanded them to move so that the rays could grow the grass and the flowers which brings beauty to the land. It will happen for you to just keep hanging in there.❤️we are here for you, and you matter❤️
@scarletPear1945
Well my dear Christian friend. So much wisdom you have. Thank you so much and must this day be a perfect one for you.
From Helga.
@Helgafy
we have to keep each other up so we can all cross the finish line. Hang tight, my friend. We are all here for you.❤️
Acceptance to me, means just that Acceptance. For me, at the wonderful age I am now, I have finally learned what acceptance means to me. It means letting go of the frustration of not being able to change other people in your life. You have learned to appreciate and "accept" them for who they are, knowing you truly can only change your own behavior or reaction. It means accepting the fact that I am wrinkled, I have physical limitations now, though thank god, nothing debilitating. It means accepting, truly accepting that "worrying" over any situation, if you can't find a true solution to deal with it, is a waste of your time and energy, let it go. I think true acceptance only comes with the wisdom of age, and that is a blessing.
@bouncyBeach42
I agree, age has also it's blessings which is often not recognized!
@bouncyBeach42
Well my friend @bouncyBeach42.
I'm not 1/2-way there where you are (in acceptance). I think maybe I never can.
With great love and Gods sunshine over your LIFE! today.
Helga.
@bouncyBeach42
wow that was well said❤️
@amiablePeace77
Hi Ami:
I have been having a difficult time accepting my health situation over the last year. While I intellectually understand that people can have medical issues at any age, I emotionally feel I’m too young to be dealing with this. I hope my condition will improve, but that hope is fading.
@UberRuminator
Accepting health conditions is tough. I hope there will be a good outcome for you ❤️
@UberRuminator
I agree with you and Ami, Health problems do not feel good and they often limit us from so many other things that we use to be able to do. As you said age really has nothing to do with age. Poor health can fall upon anyone, I find it hard to accept my health conditions too but we have got to try to keep hope alive or we will close the door to our healing. I want you to try to keep your faith and hope. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things we can not see.
Hope this is not offending you but the intent is to encourage you.❤️
@amiablePeace77
What does acceptance mean to you and do you feel you need more acceptance of your current situation if it is challenging? How could you get to that point of acceptance.
omg, this question brings about a big big trigger. with tears. Acceptance to means that people accept me as I am flaws ugliness whatever. I am who I u don't have to put up with the lack of respect or that lack of just being happy.
I have tried to accept my situation for all my life. I am yet seeking a way to get there when everything screens so loudly just the opposite. I am really tired of faking my contentment giving and giving all of me with nothing in return.
@scarletPear1945
Friend: You are "giving and giving all of you with nothing in return". Sounds for me that the people you are giving to are not thankful people. Why not (can you) stop giving to them?
@Helgafy
My only answer is that giving is all I know, Being supportive came from the lack of having any, I care for others because I have not had people care about me so I use this to perpell me into being better then they were as proof that I am some body and I will not be made to feel unworthy of life.
@scarletPear1945
It's sad that you never had the support you needed. I hope that with time you will see what we see in you, a sweet caring person with a beautiful mind without having to prove it. Giving to others is nice, but giving everything will just leave you empty. You're good enough as you are, we all are. Hugs.
@amiablePeace77
You are so right about giving until you find yourself empty, and longing. Finding that inner peace. When there has never been any it was like you did not know it was missing. Now I realize that, yet at times it feels like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Still learning to feel comfortable in my own skin. A work in progress still.
Thank you and all our family here for so much acceptance.❤️
@amiablePeace77, 1. What does acceptance mean to you and do you feel you need more acceptance of your current situation if it is challenging?
Understanding the reality of the current situation. Yes, Lord, I need more acceptance and I an trying hard.
2. How could you get to that point of acceptance?
The only thing I can think of is to work to improve my current reality. That would make it easier to accept.
@purpleTree4652
I hope there will be a change for you soon so that accepting your reality comes easier.