Check-in June 10-13
Happy Monday to everyone, I wish you all a good week
Anger is a poisonous emotion that is born out of perceived danger and threats. Its evolutionary purpose is to motivate us to fight against things that can harm us or even kill us. In addition, like all well-regulated emotions, it fuels us with a large amount of energy that we can use to our advantage. By turning anger into compassion we can find peace. It usually manifests as tension, both in muscles and in the jaw, as well as an accelerated heart rate, sweating and a deep sense of injustice or a feeling that we are being taken advantage of in some way.
Here are some suggestions which might help to transform anger into compassion.
Just like me sometimes, you are not being mindful right now
You are hurting but just like me, you want to be happy
Just like me, you want to be free of suffering
Just like me sometimes, you are wrong with what you say
What are some other things you can tell yourself to avoid that anger will harm you?
Not yet a regular of this forum? Come join us: If you have not already done so, please submit this short form add or remove your name: https://tinyurl.com/ybyg3g3y Please allow 4 days for the tag list to be updated.
@24963534 @1Marg1 @affableowl5126 @agreeableZebra7523 @amiablePeace77 @amiableTortoise2797 @AmusingJet302 @Aspace4u @bestplum1189 @beverlianne @BeyondTheInvisible @Bigvalleyrob @BlueSkyDay1911 @bobedee @bogartfan @Brokenhearted @califgurl68 @carefreeheart57 @CaringPanda45 @caringPumpkin64 @convivialBlueberry6200 @CSA1CLUB @DanaMH @chickadee123 @Dawn04 @decisiveTangerine1372 @easyBalloon5468 @ElizabethGiovi @empathicForest15 @exuberantAvocado5095 @faithlove1111 @fancysummer52 @Favor2020 @fearlessPine2167 @firefly2021 @FlowerLily23 @forko23 @foxxbirdsong @funkygirl @Glorene @gracie2303 @greenpear8830 @GuardianAngel77 @GusteeMoon123 @GustyOne4U @helpfulDime8163 @helpfulSea2178 @Help0ver5OAnxietyorManicBiPolar @honestSquare4292 @honestSquare9341 @Hotaru419 @Hunk @independentCake9528 @inventivehouse2965 @January1963 @Jaq130 @jill47 @joliver1967 @JolivetteListens @justbeaverage @kit4228 @kittycat15 @Klemen @Knitterdawn @Lauren63 @Lifer @Lolowise475 @LumenEssense @Maryvs @mellisendis @mija123 @MissPen @motinez57 @MsBrownieBee @MusicCandy @mutter3 @myfrens @Nettie @nhisgrace @niceDaisy36 @nodelicateflower @Nova101 @Novalis4u @OffMyTrack @PaKaGu @Pamela @parisliangbts @passionateWheel1397 @PaytonGlover @pinkPapaya7701 @Pixielou44 @prodigalprincess @purplehairedone @Purplelake3807 @Queen44 @quietSail6485 @rainbowsage5 @rebelbonfire @Recovery2019 @redGrapefruit5314 @RenaeListens @richyShiny39 @Roger57 @Roxy0007 @ScarletLand3247 @scarletSpring3133 @scot @sensibleThinker1377 @SensitiveinNaz @Shycat542 @sincereHemlock2665 @SmileAtWill @SoulfullyAButterfly @soulsings @straitoutasocal @Sue1111 @sweetpea @Texgal0869 @tillytot50 @Tish1982 @Tom444 @Tyedyedbutterfly @vh @wittyNest2941 @what @worthystruggle @Yaya @Zengrl
@amiablePeace77 "What are some other things you can tell yourself to avoid that anger will harm you?"
I can ask "Am I threatened or is my life at risk? Is this really worth expending all the energy to get angry?"
"How about if I wait a bit and see what other options I have like responding with reasonable words?"
"How did I feel the last time I got angry and do I really want to feel like that again?"
@soulsings
Thank you for sharing those helpful questions soul. I like in particular the thought: Is it really worth expanding all the energy
Thanks for this post AMI. I am trying to learn this lesson. I'm building awareness around feelings of anger, and working towards being detached from the feelings. My next step is using statements like you mention to understand the feeling better and choosing how to act (ant not just reacting).
@MissPen
Pen, I get you, I found myself too reacting instead of acting so I am learning as well. Reacting is instinctual, acting is a conscious choice.
I know all about anger. Like when you shared good news and its met with , meh, 3 listeners who want to help Yeah I knot about anger. and now I Will go and no longer disrupt your utopia. Thanks. Talk to pet who are not complicated. You will never have to talk again. Thanks
@Lauren63 Hey whats going on? You didnt reply back to my message on motivational page. If you are talking about your work situation I was definitely happy about that.
@Zengrl you dont get it. Not 1 therapist answered me. So I came back here. I guess you took down the page . Its ok whatever.
@Lauren63 I have been away a few days and the app was giving me problems and sometimes it wouldnt even allow me to type to respond to people. Of course I did not take down our page. It hurts when you accuse me of things I havent done. The last time I looked at our page I was the last one who wrote and you hadnt replied, so I will check it now that the app is working again.
hi @Lauren63 sorry it takes me 24-48 hours to reply. I know that must not be easy but it is not meant as an affront. My life is very complicated and I am sometimes behind on replying to threads.
@soulsings not talking about threads, chatrooms. I never left on Friday,just stopped talking when all the convo turned to 1 person again.
@Lauren63 in the open chat it did focus on 1 person. If you spoke up I would have paid as much attention to you. You matter as much as anyone in the room. Hope you let us know what you want to talk about next time.
@soulsings. [Expletive deleted] You only wanted to talk to one person. It wasnt me. He didnt ask. You only wanted rlto talk to him . What I am supposed to beg? I wont if youre life is that complicated., dont answer. I have tried here so many times. You and your buddies have always ignored me. Just like the therapists I have called. I wont ask anymore. You care about others, I dont matter. Just do what you do. Dont blame me anymore.
@Lauren63
I feel when I want to share something I am exited about or it is really good news it simply sucks if others don't listen and it hurts. Sometimes though people do not reply as fast as we want or do listen and express it but we simply did not hear or see it 
.
Lauren, sorry that you feel so bad now, I truly hope you will keep on coming here. You are very appreciated, also with all you intersting comments in the discussions. 
@amiablePeace77. see reply to your mentor.
@Lauren63
Lauren, I am truly sorry that you felt not heard and that the conversation was too one-sided. I am glad that you came out and mentioned it so that the next we can make sure that it is balanced.
@amiablePeace77
@Lauren63
Hey Lauren,
Just dropping by to say hello. Long time no see. What's this good news you got? Everything is pretty much the same in my life, still the same ol' same ol' here.
take care,
dave.
"Well, I'm not in the hospital and not in jail, so it's all ok."
@MsBrownieBee
Bee, what a positive way to look at life!
Hi everyone- it does seem like my short fuse is longer than it used to be. I would quite often fly off in a rage over little things when I was a young adult. One time my hamburger was incorrectly condimented at Wendy's. I went inside and gave those stupid people a piece of my mind. I knew that the intensity of emotion did not fit the situation. My fiuse was so short though, I would go off like a firecracker.
Eventually, found myself in the office of a psychiatrist who explained that irritability often is due to lack of seratonin in the brain. Decided to try his remedy, as I can always go back if it does not work. And Wahlah, excellent results! My fuse grew longer. Appropriate to the situation. And everyone at Wendy's has lived long and prospered. (I hope)
Another tip is that often there is another emotion buried beneath one's anger. Getting to the roots can be helpful and healing. I let go of anger and dig deeper.
Having a tough week here, but there's still Thurs and Fri. I need to find a listener here but it frightens me to try it. Sent an email to my Dr yesterday, prompt response, but I haven't opened it yet. Why am I afraid to open it? Going to go outside. It is free, and good for the spirit. Hope this was not too long. I apologize.
@Chickadee123
Sorry to hear that the first days of this week were rough for you, hope today was better and rest will be too.
Thank you so much for sharing these information and taking the time to make such an informative post. Glad you got that remedy. I do not have to fear that much anymore to loose your temper, even though its not your fault at all, just an imbalance in the brain. Its amazing how hormones affect the body, particularly those which are responsible for our happiness or to make us feel good. Thats why I find it so important not to skip meals as well in order to assure the body gets the required amount of tryptophan, which is the precursor or building block of serotonin (sesame, chia, pumpkin seeds as example). These are great things to help but sometimes one really needs to get to the root to be able to deal with what is happening.
Opening up to someone is not always easy but I do hope that you will try, and connect to a listener, chatting can be very relieving.
What are some other things you can tell yourself to avoid that anger will harm you?
I do not have any anger within me. I don't get angry, I get hurt. I don't remember the last time I got angry.
@Offmytrack
It must be very hard to get hurt and not express the feeling of being hurt, usually the anger. It's okay to feel angry when things happen which are not right. Anger helps us to heal when we get hurt or injured. When anger is ignored, denied, or repressed, it festers and will always find a way to express itself by creating pain inside which will not leave the body.
May I ask if you ever learned to express your anger, just a question because some people have not and suffer from not being able to express feelings. I had to learn it too. 🧡
@amiablePeace77, I have expressed anger, it made me ill. Now I don't do that. People get angry at me, I usually just deal with their anger and let it be.
