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Effective communication

User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 February 1st

Check-In 50+ community Febr. 2 to 4, 2026


How do you define effective nonviolent communication? What is included in it?


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User Profile: WharfRat
WharfRat February 2nd

How do you define effective nonviolent communication? What is included in it?

We have to be civilized and calm when communicating, or course, but I find that very difficult, and even impossible sometimes.  I communicate best through emails, where I can write things out and not yell or get tongue-tied.  When I get emotional, I get tongue-tied.  I used to write or type up letters which I would mail the old-fashioned way, but times have changed.


1 reply
User Profile: eternalHero77
eternalHero77 February 2nd

@WharfRat I am pretty much like you in regard to writing. I find writing it out is easier to express what I am trying to convey to the person—for me I dont scream like I had back in the day but I will instead break down in tears if scared or intimidated by the person I am trying to convey the message to. Depending on who person is I will try to verbally communicate to but if it doesnt work I tend to shut down.

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User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 February 2nd

@amiablePeace77

Calmness.

Assertiveness.

Active listening on both sides.

Commonality.

Mutual respect.

Non argumentative tone.

Focusing on your point, not making it personal 🤗💚

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP February 2nd

@Amanda84

You summoned it up well!

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User Profile: inventiveLunch4705
inventiveLunch4705 February 2nd

Calm, measured speech, in a non-aggressive tone-choosing the appropriate wording that won’t trigger the listener.  


1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP February 2nd

@inventiveLunch4705

The tone in a communication plays a crucial role in conveying emotions! 

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User Profile: RunningMachine
RunningMachine February 2nd

@amiablePeace77

Since being suspected of having ADHD communication is something I've become very mindful of. I had a tendancy to talk very quickly and softly and not always notice the listener struggling on subjects I was passionate about, not effective 😕😕

I had close to 7 years working on a national emergency help line, as you can imagine the training was intense as most contacts were verbal, empathy, open/closed questions, intonation etc and calls closely monitored. It was like chalk and cheese, work hat on, no problem but relaxed social connections always a different matter. I'm calm and measured by nature unless triggered 🤪🤪

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP February 2nd

@RunningMachine

Working on a national emergency helpline must have been demanding; good you're a calm person by nature! 

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User Profile: bluewhite1972
bluewhite1972 February 2nd

@amiablePeace77

I don’t the answer - tell me, help me and show me please 

listening twice as much as speaking as a minimum 

quiet or normal voice tones

Appreciate not everyone sees life the same way

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP February 2nd

@bluewhite1972

I think you pointed out something very important "listening twice as much as speaking"!

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User Profile: Sedtzl1
Sedtzl1 February 2nd

Respectful

Refrain from name calling

Have time to communicate

Feel safe to communicate

Know your focus

Listen to the other perspective with active engagement

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP February 2nd

@Sedtzl1

Good points!

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User Profile: akunknown
akunknown February 3rd

@amiablePeace77

How do you define effective nonviolent communication? 

Effective nonviolent communication to me is defined as having a healthy civil communication like a conversation or discussion without just complaining, criticizing, judging, putting someone down, and other unhelpful negative things. 

What is included in it?

A nice friendly conversation with someone or people where no matter what topic it being discussed it’s done so calmly without anyone getting tensed up, things like tea or coffee or whatever snacks are available being offered, respecting everyone’s right to fair time to talk if they want and you listening to them. 


1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP February 3rd

@akunknown

That's a great definition of effective nonviolent communication!

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User Profile: soulsings
soulsings February 4th

@amiablePeace77 I am not done reading Non-Violent Communication  by its founder Marshall Rosenberg but I noticed he has videos on Youtube.

When you say I am __________

Then I feel and think __________

this stops the blame game. This is not an attack on a person although at first they may act as if it is if they are really angry.

3 replies
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP February 4th

@soulsings

Sounds helpful! Thanks for mentioning the book Non-Violent Communication by its founder, Marshall Rosenberg, something I would like to have a closer look at. 

2 replies
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings February 4th

@amiablePeace77 the book is available in book and kindle form but if you want to get a flavor of it, here is nine one hour sessions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZnXBnz2kwk&list=PLPNVcESwoWu4lI9C3bhkYIWB8-dphbzJ3  or 

https://youtu.be/GZnXBnz2kwk?si=iFjeZ4MxUlAGsBSY for first session.

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP February 5th

@soulsings

Thank you soul! Rn I am reading "The body keeps the Score," but that will be the next one!

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User Profile: Clio9876
Clio9876 February 10th

@amiablePeace77

How do you define effective nonviolent communication?

By the result. It's effective non violent communication if the desired information has transfered from one person to another without either person being harmed or hurt.

I can't remember the second half of the question, but how to achieve the above is much harder. Because it needs a range of skills, not just one. Flexibility. Openness to what works for the other person. Adaptability if the initial plan doesn't work. Patience. Respect. Assertiveness. Honesty. And probably much more.

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP February 10th

@Clio9876

You did a good job in summarizing a number of points that are needed for a communication to be effective!

"Flexibility. Openness to what works for the other person. Adaptability if the initial plan doesn't work. Patience. Respect. Assertiveness. Honesty."

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