Effective communication
Check-In 50+ community Febr. 2 to 4, 2026
How do you define effective nonviolent communication? What is included in it?
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How do you define effective nonviolent communication? What is included in it?
We have to be civilized and calm when communicating, or course, but I find that very difficult, and even impossible sometimes. I communicate best through emails, where I can write things out and not yell or get tongue-tied. When I get emotional, I get tongue-tied. I used to write or type up letters which I would mail the old-fashioned way, but times have changed.
@WharfRat I am pretty much like you in regard to writing. I find writing it out is easier to express what I am trying to convey to the person—for me I dont scream like I had back in the day but I will instead break down in tears if scared or intimidated by the person I am trying to convey the message to. Depending on who person is I will try to verbally communicate to but if it doesnt work I tend to shut down.
@amiablePeace77
Calmness.
Assertiveness.
Active listening on both sides.
Commonality.
Mutual respect.
Non argumentative tone.
Focusing on your point, not making it personal 🤗💚
@Amanda84
You summoned it up well!
Calm, measured speech, in a non-aggressive tone-choosing the appropriate wording that won’t trigger the listener.
@inventiveLunch4705
The tone in a communication plays a crucial role in conveying emotions!
@amiablePeace77
Since being suspected of having ADHD communication is something I've become very mindful of. I had a tendancy to talk very quickly and softly and not always notice the listener struggling on subjects I was passionate about, not effective 😕😕
I had close to 7 years working on a national emergency help line, as you can imagine the training was intense as most contacts were verbal, empathy, open/closed questions, intonation etc and calls closely monitored. It was like chalk and cheese, work hat on, no problem but relaxed social connections always a different matter. I'm calm and measured by nature unless triggered 🤪🤪
@RunningMachine
Working on a national emergency helpline must have been demanding; good you're a calm person by nature!
@amiablePeace77
I don’t the answer - tell me, help me and show me please
listening twice as much as speaking as a minimum
quiet or normal voice tones
Appreciate not everyone sees life the same way
@bluewhite1972
I think you pointed out something very important "listening twice as much as speaking"!
Respectful
Refrain from name calling
Have time to communicate
Feel safe to communicate
Know your focus
Listen to the other perspective with active engagement
@Sedtzl1
Good points!
@amiablePeace77
How do you define effective nonviolent communication?
Effective nonviolent communication to me is defined as having a healthy civil communication like a conversation or discussion without just complaining, criticizing, judging, putting someone down, and other unhelpful negative things.
What is included in it?
A nice friendly conversation with someone or people where no matter what topic it being discussed it’s done so calmly without anyone getting tensed up, things like tea or coffee or whatever snacks are available being offered, respecting everyone’s right to fair time to talk if they want and you listening to them.
@akunknown
That's a great definition of effective nonviolent communication!
@amiablePeace77 I am not done reading Non-Violent Communication by its founder Marshall Rosenberg but I noticed he has videos on Youtube.
When you say I am __________
Then I feel and think __________
this stops the blame game. This is not an attack on a person although at first they may act as if it is if they are really angry.
@soulsings
Sounds helpful! Thanks for mentioning the book Non-Violent Communication by its founder, Marshall Rosenberg, something I would like to have a closer look at.
@amiablePeace77 the book is available in book and kindle form but if you want to get a flavor of it, here is nine one hour sessions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZnXBnz2kwk&list=PLPNVcESwoWu4lI9C3bhkYIWB8-dphbzJ3 or
https://youtu.be/GZnXBnz2kwk?si=iFjeZ4MxUlAGsBSY for first session.
@soulsings
Thank you soul! Rn I am reading "The body keeps the Score," but that will be the next one!
@amiablePeace77
How do you define effective nonviolent communication?
By the result. It's effective non violent communication if the desired information has transfered from one person to another without either person being harmed or hurt.
I can't remember the second half of the question, but how to achieve the above is much harder. Because it needs a range of skills, not just one. Flexibility. Openness to what works for the other person. Adaptability if the initial plan doesn't work. Patience. Respect. Assertiveness. Honesty. And probably much more.
@Clio9876
You did a good job in summarizing a number of points that are needed for a communication to be effective!
"Flexibility. Openness to what works for the other person. Adaptability if the initial plan doesn't work. Patience. Respect. Assertiveness. Honesty."
