Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Preventing triggers during holiday conversations

User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 December 11th, 2025

Check-In 50+ community Dec. 11 to 14, 2025


People frequently get together for lunch or dinner over the Christmas season.  It's pleasant to meet everyone and have a wonderful talk, but occasionally a delicate topic is unexpectedly brought up, which can ruin the entire mood. 😞

Here are some things to stay that can be helpful 😀:

1) "I wish we could switch topics. Although I acknowledge the importance of the subject, I believe there is a better time and location to discuss it.

2) Could we discuss something less stressful? What about traveling? Do you have any exciting travel plans for the upcoming year? 

Another option is to just excuse yourself and participate in another discussion. 

How do you establish boundaries with others or with yourself about triggering topics during a Holiday meal but also in general?

10
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP December 11th, 2025

Taglist last updated 12/5/2025 to thread 50+ Dec. 11 to 14, 2025

@00WHY00 @1Marg1 @24963534 @24Help1 @4Rainbow42 @5catsandme @7EggsADay @8Khaleesi8 @allen99 @ArinDee @Actuallynobody017 @adaptableOcean4193 @adventurousBranch3786 @adventurousSugar1991 @affableowl5126 @affectionateCat9553 @affectionatePear7889 @agreeablestrawberries1285 @ahaller @ahds2k @ahel58 @akbj @AKmarshmallow @AkiraDawn @Aksabode @alan254 @alanapiana1970 @alleywood13 @amanda @ambitiousNectarine1482 @Amelia763 @Amelia2324 @amiablePeace77 @amiableTortoise2797 @AmiYumi @amusingcranberry1537 @AmusingJet302 @anderly @andy @Angelface50 @AnnieIsMe @aquaCake3636 @ARIBA5 @Artemis13579 @AshcloudMac @Aspace4u @Audy916 @Awesomesummer1628 @ayeyaeyaaaaaaaa @azureAcres1605 @azureblueheron @azuladragon34 @Baby1120 @ballooningSloth @BaltimoreSpring @bamafan96 @Barltik2065 @Beanno @beautifulsoul @becausepuppies @Beck @becknit @beachyone @believing777 @berta0322 @Bestmaple2045 @bestplum1189 @betheileen @better2Bbrave @beverlianne @bigalt21 @Billyjoe9717 @bimmernizer @BirdsWhoWrite @bisketties @bklnstar @BlackApple6420 @BLSD2021 @bluebell34 @BlueEyes1819 @blueOrange6725 @BlueSky0708 @Blueskye24 @Bluesky1964 @bluevelvet3 @Blugreg @Bodhichicka  @bogartfan @bouncyBeach42 @BookishWendy @bouncyVoice4149 @breezyoctopus @brightChestnut3152 @brightShip8753 @BrightSugar1923 @brightZebra 8925 @bubblePomegranate7179 @Bumblebee41 @BurdensDown @cafelatte46 @cal1860 @CaliforniaViv @calmblueocean @calmVase7032 @Cammiecat @CandyBubblegumSprinkles @carefreeheart57 @CarefulGrapes590 @carefulsailboat231 @carelady @caringone1004 @CaringPanda45 @caringPumpkin64 @CaringSharon @CaringSoftly @CaringSub @carscarey @casey90 @cathy @catlady @catmandu @caughtinthemiddle @Cazzy8752 @Cheerie @chickadee123 @Chro411924 @CHT @CintaBali @classylady521 @Cliffg747 @Clio9876 @coach411 @Communicativepenny8383 @compassionteHuman5626 @CompassionateLand2815 @Confused7461 @conscientiousCoconut8216 @convivialCake8989 @ConvivialFriend9402 @Cookiecrumbles7079 @coolvibes @CoriF @courageousCoconut7282 @CourageousDaisy1111 @courageousLemon182 @CourageousSpring2022  @courteousLime9432 @Creamyyy  @CreativeYard1702 @ crimsonRaspberries1486     @crimsonShade6782 @CtownMimi @ctw1237 @Cubby2020 @curiousbutterfly77 @currentwise @cyanBirch4288 @CyclingThroughLife @Damaris62 @DanaMH @DancingJoy811 @dapperPond2037 @Dave94305  @daydreammemories @debbiehun @decisivetangerine2856 @decisiveBanana1981  @decisiveHuman7373 @DDPaintsStuff @DeeGold @DELTA0112 @Den2542 @determinedNectarine9383 @dillon8524 @DinaElwy @diofono @diplomaticoak9588 @discreetMelon5938 @discreettriangle87 @DiscretOcean7936 @doginashirt @dolphinlver @Doodles7 @duces @ecstaticlght @einarsgirl @elderfarm @Electric100 @ElizabethGiovi @EmbStitcher33 @empathicForest15 @Emptynest2020 @emotional232023 @enigmaticOcean8813 @endearingLion70 @Enthusiasticnest1089 @equinox56 @eternalHero77 @Eva66 @Every1ahome @ExDesertScapegoat @exuberantAvocado5095 @fairmindedStrawberries7429 @Faithfulapple2400 @faithlove1111 @Favor2020 @favour @fearlessSouth4632 @FlowerLily23 @FoolsSelf @forcefulFriend4768 @forcefulStrings1005 @forcefulWriter32 @forko23 @Freeskier @FriendlyAnju777 @friendly10 @friendlyCat50 @fromthetent81 @frothyMagic6772 @FusionX33 @GabbyGee @Gabriellegahnsuksah @Gale1032 @galfromaway @gardenyarn @generousBalloon786 @gentleEast4230 @gentleLand5245 @GiftedEmpath3 @goldilocks1041 @goodmelon8247 @goodYard1477 @goodStrawberries7059 @GothamRam @gracefulDay3692 @GrammatoBoys @Grandma1 @GrandmaLolly @Gramma2FnM @Grammy23 @Grammy23 @Gr8ful1974 @Greenpear036 @greenSummer1236 @gregariousKiwi9594 @gregariousZebra21 @guitarman087 @Gwen1963 @GypsyRed @HaloCompany88 @hoppa12 @HealingGriz @Heather2020 @helloBike4402 @hellopusher @helloTalker8798 @honestPeach5447 @Hotaru419 @hounddog2021 @HY00 @iamroni @icanremember @icedcoffee211109 @IHDW1982 @ihtak @impartialDrum1848 @incredibleHeart72 @impartialRaspberries1389 @indigolilly1500 @indigoFriend7851 @indigoMoon1246 @innerLove @intelligentSail5966 @introvertedextrovert2122 @intuitiveBunny8426 @intuitiveFriend1097 @Ivy229 @Irene2552 @IWuzADuck @JackKost @jackrock @japanesegardengirl @jazzgtr @Jim @Jinx012014 @jlmouranet @jillwings7@JolivetteListens @JoniGirl @Judecat42W1370 @junem @justbecause @Justbreathingx9 @JustExisting1027 @JustMe1225 @justpassingthrough10 @K8tjee @kala @karyn0601  @Katbtrying552 @Kathy1212 @kathy3667 @Kavajava @kcollier6517 @Kevin0291 @kickiree @kickan75 @Kimberley555 @KindblueEyes @kindCloud141 @Kira09 @kit4228 @kitty2018 @kittycat15 @klemen @koyaanisqatse8 @Kurt789 @LabeledBPD @LadySnowcat @LakeGirl819 @Lara @lateasusual @Lauren63 @LavenderDaily @lesjon @lelahni @Lifer @lightBalsam5585 @LightSoul108 @lilaj3796 @LimegreenNorth1124 @LindaWinNJ @lisamac724 @ListeningKaty @livefreely04 @LivingLovingLifeRecovery @livingwithbpdx2 @lledmonds1969 @Lolowise475 @lonea @Lonelybeth @LoneShade @lookingforpeace @lookoutOwl8 @LostanLonely @Lostinlove50 @love @Love2Boat65 @LovecraftianHorror @Lovelight1211 @lovingTangerine2547 @LoveResearcher @lrsmith9636 @LucianX @luv2shop @mabelanne20 @madhu @Maebyb@Maka10 @mamamel @mamapants @MariaLands @Marspock @meforexample @Melayla @Melissa22320 @Mellieme l1971 @mellisendis @metta2u @mettagirl @MidwesternCalmSeeker @Mindy @ministermichelle @Mishka1599 @MissPen @Mla69 @mm2022 @modestOcean7984 @modestwatermelon2938 @moi2016 @mommabear0562 @MondoRalph @Mooboxer @mooboxer @moocher @moodymantis13 @morecake @Motherofcats1955 @MrKindness @MsVee2021 @MusicCandy @Musicman50 @musicwithbrass @mutter3 @myer @MysticSoul88 @Nanci @navyAcai7149 @neatandtidy72 @neverendingtime23 @NightListener3262 @nippycat @NotAllHere713 @No1Angel68 @nobodyimportantmn @Nogift @NormaAnne @Oddball76779 @oel @OffMyTrack @okeyyyy @OliveCamp8456 @omez125 @OmWeAreOne @Open12 @OptimisticAcres4817 @optimisticRaspberries5247 @outofspace7 @PatienceImpatiens @PaytonGlover @Peace1221 @peaceandlove65 @peachy53 @PepperBunny  @pgreen6840 @phantomsmilesphilosophicalacai7803 @PitbullMom9 @philosophicalAcres8914 @philosophicalKiwi4956 @pianocat @PigfaceMcGee513 @placidplum3193 @pluckystrings4696 @plumPapaya7147 @plumSkies6526 @politePear3867 @positiveriver9935 @Positron2 @potatoxcrispztrish @powerfulOak2587 @powerfulMaple1852 @practicalbalsam @PracticalCat2637 @proactiveCup703 @Proudme @Puddinpen @PurpledPeach @purpleNorth4637 @purplefan5510 @purplepansies8591 @purpletangerine87 @purpletree4652 @PurpleWater74 @pxidis @Qooo @quietbeach575 @purpleCircle8013 @quietFlower25 @QuietLightning  @quietSail6485 @quietStrawberries9260 @Ran3707 @RainbowRosie @rationalWater7635 @RavingTiger @readytolisten7799 @RebelliousMirror @redOrange9587@redCococnut7440 @redPenny @Redpeppers @Redrhapsody @reliableHickory3670 @reliablemoon26 @reliablemoon6376 @repen13 @ReservedHickory86 @reservedOwl321 @Resourceful2021 @rhoda @richyShiny39 @RideaRainbow @River416 @Roger57 @RogueOne1983 @Rose1324 @Ross63 @roxymar @ruffneckred @Ruthanny1243 @sabeyesofblue3535 @sailinsunshine @SallyMoore @sallymander36 @samSympa3 @Sandidegeer @SarahKind @sb805 @ScarletLand3247 @ScarletPear1945 @SeaLady @Seasidelady61 @secretMap2091 @Sedtzl1 @seeker1898 @SeekerSher @seekinghappy55 @SelfCareMatters @selfdisciplinedPenny281 @seniorlady @sensibleBunny2134 @sensiblePal7535 @ShadowFaerie @Shycat542 @shycranberry2308 @sillyrabbit7 @SimplyCompassionate @sincereGrapefruit4682 @sincerelandsincereOak6832 @SKHK @SkillfullMeans @Skyglider @SleeplessVet @SloRollin62 @smead85 @Smilintru67 @smokescrunch @sngrlittle @snugglyLight2001 @sonerii @soothingArrow47 @sophiaaiello @SoulfulCat22 @soulsings @spielmanjr @spongbobishappy @SpreadAloha @StartExploring @stayingsafe @SteampunkOkc @stilltrying126 @sthompso @StormyTimes @straightforwardKiwi7811 @stressBear @strugglingtocope99 @stampy853 @StillSurvivingThriving @Sue1111 @Sue88 @sunnyplum5193 @SunnySpruce3523 @sunnyZebra2336 @Sunshine4691 @SunShineAlwaysGrateful @SusyKaploosy @SuzieQ1 @swammi01 @SweetSami @swim215 @swinston222 @swordpsalm @sympatheticCat267 @Tabbysflower @Tailormade1 @tanimaya @Tanq2u @Tawanda526 @tealCranberry7379 @tealDog6333 @tealPlace1858 @Teresa416 @terrig996 @TexasTabby @thecaringone @thoughtfulRaspberries8714 @ThreeFires @Tish1982 @tranquilheart @Treat @Tri2BHappy @Trying5555 @turquoiseJar411 @twidget @twm @Tyedyedbutterfly @understandingSea8000 @unicornbarb @Vadras @versatileHickory1709 @Vintagelung @VioletVeritas @vouberto @Walker7957 @WarmWool @waterdragon81 @weatherphoto @WharfRat @Whisper292 @whisperingfairy7 @whispersrlonely @whitewingeddove1107 @Wicket51 @willow3836 @wittyNest2941 @WonnderWoman @Woodlandwalk42 @wordnerd @worstpossibleusername @WorkingitThrough2 @worthystruggle @WrenegadeWen @Yashoda108 @xe14 @xinero @xrosez @Yashoda108 @yzzil @Yushix @youcancallmeLili @zaramerch @Zengrl @ZeeshanZahir

User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 December 11th, 2025

@amiablePeace77

I'm usually just blunt and say, don't wanna talk about that 😁😁 but working on learning boundaries matter 💖


User Profile: akunknown
akunknown December 12th, 2025

@amiablePeace77

How do you establish boundaries with others or with yourself about triggering topics during a Holiday meal but also in general?

During the holidays I’d say something along the lines of “This isn’t a good time for topics like this” In general I’d simply say “I don’t wanna talk about this. If you want me to participate in the conversation and talk, please change the topic to something I can talk about or let me decide what the topic is”

However whether it’s during the holidays or in general, if I’m not listened to or respected by others to the point where the topic is changed to something I wouldn’t mind talking about then I’ll just simply walk away and let them continue with their conversation and spending time together without me or my participation. 

I just believe that I don’t need or want to be around or associated with anyone that doesn’t care about me or my feelings or my thoughts yet still expects me to express myself and calls me out when I don’t. Wasting my time with people like that doesn’t benefit me in any way. 

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP December 12th, 2025

@akunknown

I can understand that you don't want to waste time talking about a topic that you do not feel comfortable with or being around non supportive people. Your time is precious!

load more
User Profile: thoughtfulmomma
thoughtfulmomma December 12th, 2025

@amiablePeace77

How do you establish boundaries with others or with yourself about triggering topics during a Holiday meal but also in general?

During the holidays I typically just leave the room if people are talking about something I just can't listen to.  In general, I have made it a point (over and over and over again with certain people) that I cannot talk about this topic anymore.  I have literally told some people "I do not want to hear about this again!!!"

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP December 12th, 2025

@thoughtfulmomma

Some people have "hard ears" as we say here, they don't listen so better to walk away.

load more
User Profile: okeyyyy
okeyyyy December 14th, 2025

@amiablePeace77 so usually in these days people do have some social drinking in order to relax and get over the tension that some family members feels towards others. Cause some family members like to show off money or status ,etc  or to put up with things we dislike about certain family members, etc.  Me when i dont want to talk about stuff i usually bring my sketchbook and i just do sketches , since family religious festivities or family gathering for me tend to be a chore, so i just do whatever to avoid having to talk to them. but yes those you mention are good points

3 replies
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP December 16th, 2025

@okeyyyy

I never thought about that okeyyy, great idea to bring your sketch book!

2 replies
User Profile: okeyyyy
okeyyyy December 16th, 2025

@amiablePeace77  thanks, today my father scold me about it, but i think he is just stuck in his ways. thanks yay

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP December 17th, 2025

@okeyyyy

Sorry to hear this. Sometimes the only thing that really works is practising patience with people.

load more
load more
load more