Switch
Hi everyone, Sorry if my question is weird. I would like to ask if someone had similar experiences. Before work I like to hug my pillow and I feel like a child. But it’s so difficult to leave and switch back to “adult”. I just want to feel safe and hug something. My psychologist told me before I have DID. I am not sure about that but if you have similar feelings would like your comment.
Thank you and have a great day. xoxox
@kala
i love the xoxox. back at you. we all want to be pampered and loved like by parents when we were young. some feel it more than others. can't comment of your diagnosis. but it's just a label. are you sure you don't have cPTSD or childhood trauma? it will mimic a lot of things...
but, no, i don't have that, even though i love to hug and be hugged, but don't do it often, as it's not PC I guess?
@kala
Hi Kala,
I have DID and MPD alongside MH issues, Autism, ADHD etc etc etc.
I often feel the same way, I have looked into this in my own life a lot and the only thing I can get pointed to is the abuse I suffered as a child, so I'm not sure what your situation is but maybe take a look at your childhood, did anything happen? was there any traumatic experiences?
Answer these and write them down, you may find your answer to this in your past, it's took me a long time to get close to dealing with mine, it's not gone, it's still there, and It's strange because only the other day I was speaking to someone about this exact issue and I said I never wanted to talk about it because it sounds weird.
Now I know I'm not the only one, I feel much better.
Feel free to reach out if you want a chat or any support :)
@kala
Hello.
I don't have any competance to comment on that particular diagnosis. I just wanted to say, that I can understand the need for safety, and to feel free of "being an adult". I find myself feeling that way too, as I am going through some layers of feeling neglected.
It sounds nice to hug a pillow. I understand that it can feel limiting when you don't feel like "switching back". I find myself only feeling safe under a duvet, in a bed. I also find it limiting to only feel safe with such "props". So there's perhaps some relevance to your experience.
Best wishes to you.
Hello! I have been medically recognized with DID, and I can sorta relate in a way. I would sometimes hug my stuffed animals before going out walking in the city or going to classes, back when I lived in a loud city. Although, I didn’t switch with anyone else after I stopped hugging the stuffed animal. I have childish alters, but they don’t work because they can’t really be covert at all. Although don’t take my experiences as a norm, because all the people I’ve met with DID or OSSD all have vastly different perspectives and experiences. If you’re comfortable doing so, perhaps looking into what it could be might be good, to see if you’re psychologist is correct or if it’s something else similar to some aspects of DID.
@kala
Kala, your questions is not weird at all and it's good that you reach out. I cannot comment on what your psychologist told you about having DID but I find it's simply okay to do what makes you feel safe (provided it's healthy of course). Sometimes, when things are really rough for me, it feels good to cuddle a pillow and I believe it's a natural response to not feeling well for some people. Not wanting to switch back to "adult" can have different reasons in my view. I hope you can work through this with your psychologist's help and remember if you feel unsure, you can always try to get a second opinion from another professional. 💙