Cheri’s Connection Corner - Over Thinking The Thief of J✨O✨Y

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

UPDATED TAGLIST 7/30/2023

1st part

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@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

2nd Part Taglist

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@SunShineAlwaysGrateful What would be a thief of overthinking?

I overthink most things in my life. Instead of overthinking, I call it proper planning, hitting on any and all things that could cause me grief. I'm sure this only causes me more grief lol.... I have no idea why this is, what event or trauma in my past caused me to be this way. I have never really dug deep into how to stop this train....I'll be watching here for other folks ideas and solutions.....thanks for this topic.

Did your past history contribute to your over thinking? I don't think so. I think this has been a gradual compulsion that has grown over the years.

What strategies help you keep you present and staying positive? Therapy and journaling help a lot. When my brain starts to take me on the negative journey where I obsessively start thinking about a situation, all the problems surrounding it, etc. I sit down and write out what I'm thinking, feeling, etc. It's basically just talking out the situation on paper rather than just let it ruminate in my head.

Are you happier now that your overthinking is under better control?? Happier? I don't think it's happiness. But the times when I have a full out panic attack due to overthinking have become fewer and aren't as bad.

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

Saying this as someone who did everything you listed. How did I beat it?

First of all, a reminder that I had over twenty years of treatment, countless therapy sessions, group sessions, went through DBT a number of times. The vast majority of my brilliant ideas I learned in a class at some point!

1. NO people pleasing. I learned NOT to care what others thought; what a liberation!

2. Stop the thoughts you don't want. In the beginning you can do stuff like wear a rubber band and snap yourself when you catch yourself ruminating.

3. Replace thoughts with gratitude: grateful for the waffle cone ice cream cone I just had!

4. Do something kind for someone else. Call and check on a friend. Open a door for a stranger.

5. Repeat repeat repeat repeat!!!

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

Did your past history contribute to your over thinking? Yes, I believe it did. My mother was very strict with me. I was the oldest and a girl. I was not allowed to go out with friends or visit other people's houses past dark. I was given all types of reasons why I could not do things and as I got older, over thinking became part of my process.

What strategies help you keep you present and staying positive? I haven't found anything (journaling, meditation, etc.)that helps for extended periods of time yet. I am hoping to get ideas from others.

Are you happier now that your overthinking is under better control?? I think I would be happier if it were under control. That would be one more thing not to worry about.

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

Did your past history contribute to your over thinking? I can't remember when this wasn't a problem. A lot has contributed to the growth of this though, especially my girlfriend and I concluding our 2-year on-and-off relationship just a little over a month ago.

What strategies help you keep you present and staying positive? I've taken my dog out on walks in the morning to just get away from the house. It doesn't make the problems go away, but it helps clear my mind and make me think of other things. Keeping myself busy is a good deterrent.

Are you happier now that your overthinking is under better control? It hasn't gotten under better control unfortunately, but finding these small things to do to keep the thoughts away, even for a little while, is always nice.

Thanks for posting this. I appreciate the discussion it's brought.

Did your past history contribute to your over thinking?

Definitely. I was criticized repeatedly by my father whenever I did something wrong, which was often. He did not explain things well when it came to the farm work and other chores, so I made a lot of mistakes. This made me hesitate at anything I've done and second-guess myself. I spend too much time thinking about how I should do each thing that needs to be done. I worry and get worked up and the fear builds.

What strategies help you keep you present and staying positive?

I have trouble there. I try to keep in mind that most of the things I need to do aren't worth getting worked up about, and they're easier to do than I think they will be. That doesn't always work, though. I still worry. I distract myself sometimes, too, by thinking of other, more pleasant things, but that just leads to daydreaming about the woman I love who doesn't want anything to do with me.

Are you happier now that your overthinking is under better control??

I'm better off, anyway. My stomachaches are down.

I have had my share of this. Having abusive family members growing up and attending scholls where bullying was the norm are likely contributors.

Attending meetings, hobbies groups, church, and meetups where the stakes are low allows for integration with healthy people so one can be resocialized under less stressful and abusive dynamics. This helps with overthrowing.