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Do older people think differently than they were young?

User Profile: JoyousBear
JoyousBear October 24th, 2019

Do older adults think the same or differently than they were thinking when they were younger ? What is your experience?

I think that there must be some difference because:

- 18 - 35 - in the beginning of this age group they are mostly students with varied student life; they are employed and in many sources it is written that this age group is the most prospective in creating new inventions, etc. They get partners, marry or start living in cohabitation, are young parents as women are in child bearing age.

- 35 - 50 - they are employed, parents, do careers, student time is mostly past them, after 40's child bearing age is over

- 50 - 65 - they are at the peak of the career, children grow up and start to become indepedent (which can be + or - for the parents, depending on their mindset and other circumstances). In some countries after late 50's they can retire. Personal assistance for disabled people is suitable for people up to 65 if it exist in the country. For older people long term care is there (the exact differences in content of those concepts are unknown to me).

- 65+ - they are mostly retired by this age or soon after this age. They receive long term care if they need it. They become grandparents, care for their grandsons and granddaughters, etc.

So, in my humble opinion, also their thinking might change over age periods. What do you think about it?

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User Profile: soulsings
soulsings October 27th, 2019

@gentleSun78 I think that our brains change as we grow from child to young adult. I know I explored and experimented more. Now that I have found out about things, I am more inclined to stay in my comfort zone.

I do have a greater interest in mindfulness now than I did when I was younger.

6 replies
User Profile: mooboxer
mooboxer November 3rd, 2019

I think because you have been through a lot more you have more empathy for others .@soulsings

6 replies
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings November 4th, 2019

@mooboxer thanks for those kind words. I guess when I focus on others suffering more than my own, I feel more compassion and less loss. So many times this is preferable to focusing on my own situation.

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User Profile: mooboxer
mooboxer April 26th, 2020

I tried to find something good about loosing my father and it was that I had more empathy for another who had gone through the same thing. It was a very tough time x@soulsings

5 replies
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings April 26th, 2020

@mooboxer wow it sounds like a rough time. Glad you found some kind of benefit to such a loss. heart

User Profile: Teresa416
Teresa416 April 29th, 2020

@mooboxer

Loosing a dear friend or relative is always difficult! I am Catholic and I believe we are just on " loan" being on this earth as our home is in heaven. God has a plan for us before we are even born. I have 2 ways I think about it. #1, God goes in his garden every day and picks the flowers to go home today. Or #2 He has all of our names in a book, and when he turns the page, the names on that page are sent home. When I think of it that way, it eases the pain. Hope that helps.

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User Profile: mooboxer
mooboxer April 30th, 2020

It was actually 10 years ago and was very raw and sadly I dont have religion to help me as I don't believe but j was able to help a friend who went through similar as a result x

thanks for your kind words just the same x@Teresa416

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User Profile: soulsings
soulsings April 30th, 2020

@mooboxer I am in the same situation as far as religion but I do find that compassion for others helps diminish my focus on my own grief.

User Profile: Teresa416
Teresa416 April 30th, 2020

@mooboxer

I hear you Mooboxer and understand.

No need to attach yourself to a particular religion, maybe just some sort of higher power. What do you think?

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User Profile: Teresa416
Teresa416 April 29th, 2020

@mooboxer

Exactly, @mooboxer!

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User Profile: DersertDweller
DersertDweller October 28th, 2019

The schedule that is listed does not even close to reflect my life at all. I worked from 12 and contributed money to the house.

I did go to college but then never had a steady job. Each job I had I didn't stay with although most of them would have been great jobs to stick with and retire from. I was always frustrated and never felt appreciated so I moved on to the next job.

I was fortunate enough to work as a civilian in Iraq which wiped out my debt and I've never been back in debt. Thank goodness. Now that is a true positive in my life... one of the positive things that I thought would happen while growing up.

I had uterine cancer - no children. Was married for 4 years - divorced. Have never been able to hold a relationship after being brutally dumped. (He flat out told me one day, after four years, that he did not love and had not loved me since the day we got married.) Why did he marry me? Why do people lie? I'd have rather been left at the alter. I can't trust people, can barely hold a friendship because of trust issues.

I've been caring for my 72yo mom for two years, she's almost able to take care of herself again then, I might get my life back - oh, I'm sorry - WHAT LIFE??? (I've tried dating sites, the MeetUp site and just giong out to coffee shops, the mall, for walks in populated areas just to try to be brave and meet someone - anyone.

I'm 50 and retired early due to some good circumstamces and for that I am completely grateful, but I've been seeking a part-time job just to have something to do.

I am alone, tired, unwilling to make new freinds as I don't trust anyone anymore. My brother took his life this past April and basically wilth all included in this answer, life is nothing ot me anymore. I don't even blame him.

Grocery shopping, TV, walk dog, check on Mom, house work, bed, repeat.

Do I think differently than when I was younger, you bet I do, because I thought my life would be different. I thought I'd at least have a relationship and some sort of family other than Mom. I think differently because I am fed up with life that it is almost unbearable. I think differently because I'm dissapointed and I thought life was going to be GREAT while I was a kid, a teenager, 20s, 30s, 40s, I ALWAYS though, oh things will get better, everything will be ok and I'll have relationships and activities and a family and love.

I'm not even sure this is type of answer that was expected of the question stated, but I was born and grew up being told a lie. The lie is that life would be great, that I'd be a part of a happy family and that my parents would be lvong and not make me doubt that they ever loved me at all.... They beat each other up then got married and divorced three (yes, three) times, to each other, by the time I was twelve. They tried to stay together "for the kids", as one did in the 70s. But once old enough I made dinner or else dinner wouldn't get made. But I was told and told and told that I'd find a great husband and life would be so nice even though around me I saw that it was a lie. I am pissed because of that lie and you might try to tell me oh, try this, try that, go here, go there.... I've done it all. Really. I smile as much as I can at people just to stay positive but you know how the question was "Do you think differntly now than you did when you were younger?" Yes, I do, because I never thought for a moment that I'd have to FORCE myself to smile at people. I thought that simple type of kindness and positivity was a given.

My sense of mental welbeing is so skewed and weakened that I am surprised I've made it this long. I was shown that life is a war, not battle from battle that you might have to deal with from time-to-time, but all out WAR. So yes, I do think differently because nothing is like it was "supposed" to be. Not one thing.

2 replies
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings October 28th, 2019

@DersertDweller I am sorry for your losses. The loss of your husband sounds rough to go through. The loss of our innocence believing that life is a bowl of cherries has bitten me many times. There are many things that are just not true, I agree that it happens but wish it would not.

I guess I have had to look at all my anger and see that it is hurting me most of all. It is not easy to deal with but somehow I have tried to find a way not to give into it all the time. I can lessen the effect it has in my life.

Hope you get the support you are looking for here.

1 reply
User Profile: DersertDweller
DersertDweller October 29th, 2019

@soulsings

The loss of my husband was great as after he finally told me the truth I was set free from his lie, the loss of my brother, who shot himself, was not great.

I'm angry and it's NOT hurting me, it's great! it's liberating, because I am telling the people who treated me horribly and gave me a shitty life when I was helpless and young exactly what they did, exaclty what they did to create the beginning of a life of pain and uncertainty. Thank for your sweet thoughts about it all but it doesn't come close to what I really said.

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User Profile: DersertDweller
DersertDweller October 29th, 2019

@soulsings

Firstly your "life is not a bowl full of cherries" is an insulting quip and it's not helpful.

Maybe I've not made myself clear... It's the lies.

Each stage of my life, as the question asks, was full of different types of lies.

In short, yes, I feel different as I get older because:

1. I have finally realized that the lies lived, that ones I was told at each stage of my life (you're loved, little girl, I love you so much, but then told "shut up, go to your room, get out of my sight OR "you are so ugly and stupid, get out of my sight)

One of the next lies in a different stage: (I love you so much, I want to marry you! ...Aas we took our wedding vows, he admitted later it was a lie....)

2. Now I'm taking back my life. Have (some for years) extracted those who have injured me and for those still in my life, (my mother) well, I have begun telling her all the terribel things she did. Usually she says she does not remember. I generally believe her because I know her now very well and can tell when she'd lying.

****This has nothing to do with you soulsings or rhe question posed, but, as an aside: I fee like I should not have responded to this thread at all. This is not helping me and thus far this entire site has been difficult to navigate and understand how it is going to help me.

2 replies
User Profile: adventurousBranch3786
adventurousBranch3786 October 31st, 2019

@DersertDweller Hi I'm sorry to hear about all that you have been thru. That's really hard what happened with your brother. I've been lied to a lot too, that is difficult also.I'm glad that you are trying out the 50plus community. There are other communities that you can try such as trauma,depression, and relationships. I hope that you can find a community that will be helpful for you.

1 reply
User Profile: DersertDweller
DersertDweller November 1st, 2019

@adventurousBranch3786

Thank you.

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User Profile: sparklesinthewater
sparklesinthewater November 3rd, 2019

No stereotypes for me please...I hope to reach 44, I act like a 6 year old and feel like 88, age has nothing to do with it or stereotypes...

User Profile: barncat
barncat November 3rd, 2019

This is a very thought provoking question- do older people think differently? First of all what is the definition of "older people: Do you mean senior citizen over 65years or ??? Often I contemplate this question in a different light- what would I have done differently at various life stages having the knowledge of life experience.

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User Profile: soulsings
soulsings November 3rd, 2019

@barncat the term older is relative. When 20 older mean 30+

At 50, 65 is older

at 90, 100 is older.

To personalize the question, how have you noticed yourself changing as you age?

1 reply
User Profile: barncat
barncat April 30th, 2020

@soulsings- less likely to take risks. feel more vulnerable.

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User Profile: barncat
barncat April 25th, 2020

@gentleSun78- as a retired person without children i noticed that this post leaves out a lot of us. Yet we stll evolve and grow despite not having a family. My thinking is different- changing focus as I age. Concern for community takes the place of grandchildren. Or being involved with others children.

User Profile: GreyMirror
GreyMirror April 25th, 2020

Deffinitely so...

User Profile: GreyMirror
GreyMirror April 25th, 2020

Yet I shall allways be a kidding kid😂😂😂😁😀

User Profile: MotherofCats1955
MotherofCats1955 April 25th, 2020

@gentleSun78

Your opinion most definitely changes over the years. In my faith, older women are crones. It's not an insult. It refers to their state of being beyond the stage of fertility. Without that driving force, I've had the chance to learn more than I ever did about society, and the world. When I see the impatience of youth I wonder if I was ever like that. Of course I was. I only wish younger people would listen to older ones sometimes. Not always but I have learned a few things over the decades.

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings April 25th, 2020

@MotherofCats1955 I agree that we all have different opinions as we get older than when we thought we were forever young and invincible.

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User Profile: EmphaticAngel
EmphaticAngel June 13th, 2021

I think as we get older our priorities and opinions change and that's a part of our lives. But I would also say that there is always something that stays the way it is for the whole life

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User Profile: soulsings
soulsings June 15th, 2021

@EmphaticAngel i think our moral integrity stays with us our whole lives.

I also think there is room for a change of heart so people can get better and improve.

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