Wish for happiness

@JosephHill There are several forms of happiness, such as joy, contentment, satisfaction, and serenity. These can be experienced at any age. Happiness isn't an all or nothing feeling, but rather one that you can sometimes feel. I hope this helps and that you discover happiness in your own life. Feel free to message me anytime if you want to talk more about this.

i feel the same i need someone to talk to.

Hey man I'm sorry you've been having a hard with this because I'm going though same thing and this is something I struggled with most of my life.Im not great at give advice but honestly I think to truly find real happiness is connecting with people who make you feel good about yourself whether that's friendship/relationships/family. Finding true happiness can be just finding hobbies your interested in or passionate about and finding your goals.Work with finding your purpose in life because everyone on this planet is here for a reason.Its ok to not know now life is not a race just right now take some time out for working on your self mentally,emotionally and spiritually. Were here you and if you need anything were here to help🙏Good luck on your journey 💜

@JosephHill Hi. Tich Nhat Hann had a saying, “Happiness is available, please help yourself to it.” That was a quote that I would have rolled my eyes at in the past. Some things (people, places, things) make us happy, but for a limited time. We often look outward and think if I only had (fill in the blank) I would be happy. But even if we get what we want, it tends to be unstable. Get rich, lose it, and then what? Get the relationship you want, and then that person leaves, and then what? Get the latest shiny car, and shortly after you drive it off the lot, it becomes normalized, and we look for the next happiness source. What makes me happy? Self compassion, gratitude, acceptance of things as they are now, and avoiding adding to my own suffering. I don’t renounce wanting things, I just try to not make it my condition for happiness. I can also get happiness from seeing the happiness in others. There is freedom here, there is joy here, and there is the the ability to connect with other humans on a deeper level, even if for just a brief moment. My happiness is not huge, nor is it continuous. But, I can return to it. Like Tich Naha Hann says, it is “available” and I have the choice of returning to it. I recommend the book, “You can be happy no matter what”, by Richard Carlson. It was, for me a “start” to finding how to be happy. I had to keep finding additional sources. I still have more to learn, and have to be reminded how to get back to happiness (gratitude is the thing I am often reminded of as a path to happiness). Also, if you can find peace or happiness for just a few seconds, don’t discount it if it doesn’t “stick around”. The happiness we usually want is something enduring 24/7. Sometimes we get that. But those are minutes of repeating happiness in a row. If you can experience any few seconds of happiness, it’s proof you can find that strung together for a little longer, and later, with practice perhaps for a whole day. I hope this is encouraging.

Hi Joseph,

I thought of a few things I could share with you.

When I was younger I read a lot of personal growth type books about finding happiness. I then started to realise that happiness was never going to be a constant thing and it wasn’t really the goal. Learning to accept feeling shit sometimes and also feeling ho-hum or neutral sometimes -in amongst moments of occasional awe, joy or a laugh here and there - was just how life is. I begin to focus on doing things that helped bring more of those nice moments into my life and then try to be grateful for them. It didn’t make the awful feelings go away but it at least made it easier to sit with them rather than to fight it as if they shouldn’t be there at all.

I wonder if other languages have many more words for happy than we do in English. As another commenter mentioned happiness can be many things. Perhaps our definition of what it is can be tweaked to a more broader understanding. If you have ever laughed at a joke or at a young child making silly faces or saying a swear you - would that be considered a moment of happiness? Is the pleasure from a hot shower after a hard days work or time out in the cold considered a moment of happiness? I’m sure there are small, albeit fleeting, moments you can reflect on that could perhaps be considered as joyful.

I hope this helps, Joseph. Life is pretty hard - it really doesn’t matter how much money or wealth you have, shitty stuff seems to manifest in one way or another. Maybe it’s some cosmic law that ensures some measure of equality of a sort. Try to bring awareness to those small moments when they happen and bank them up in the memory to reflect on when everything feels like it’s turning to crap.

sending love 💕

From what I can tell, our definition of being happy changes throughout life. I've been happy at times. It's just that the stuff that made me happy 8 months ago is not what makes me happy now. In my case, I am now physically unable to do the things I did 8 months ago. I haven't found that sort of happy since.

I very much relate to you. I think happiness can be a moment as well. I’ve pretty much lived in a depression fog my entire life. I’ve experienced moments, though, that I could describe as “happy.” One time, it was fall and cool. I opened the windows in my house. It must have triggered a pleasant memory. It didn’t last more than a few minutes, but every year, I hope to feel that feeling again when fall comes. I haven’t felt it in a long time. Another time, I decided to roller skate (that was in my 40s). I truly felt elated. It was a moment. I don’t think “happy” is a place we arrive at or it isn’t for me. It’s just going to be those moments I have to string together. I don’t believe it’s too late.

@JosephHill

sometimes it's small moments like eating your favorite desert. or sleeping in. or getting a warm towel after a shower. or watching a good show. or randomly seeing a dog out on the streets.

Is the lack of happiness just the way life is? If so, what are you looking for on 7 Cups?

From the intro paragraph of Dr. Richard Carlson’s book, “You Can Be Happy No Matter What.” I added the bold parts for emphasis.

“HAPPINESS! IT’S SOMETHING THAT ALL OF US WANT but that few of us ever achieve. It is characterized by feelings of gratitude, inner peace, satisfaction, and affection for ourselves and for others. Our most natural state of mind is one of contentment and joy. The barriers or obstructions that keep us from experiencing these positive feelings are learned negative processes that we have innocently come to accept as “necessary,” or as “just the way life is.” When we uncover these inherent positive feelings and remove the obstructions keeping us from them, the result is a more meaningful and beautiful experience of life.”

Excerpt From

You Can Be Happy No Matter What

Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

https://books.apple.com/us/book/you-can-be-happy-no-matter-what/id381381929

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I think there was one year of my life where I was happy. I was at a prestigious school, and doing very well there. I was in my element. But after I graduated, it was all downhill. Lost opportunities, lost siblings, losing money trying to achieve a dream...I'm an effing loser. I am so miserable and afraid now