If I Could Have, I Would Have
Lets play - If I Could Have, I Would Have:
🦋 Feel free to share about your personal or professional path you are on - if you could start over, knowing the things you know today, what new paths would you now take?
Tag-list:
@1Marg1 @amiablePeace77 @AmusingJet302 @BeyondTheInvisible @carefreeheart57 @CaringPanda45 @DanaMH @empathicForest15 @exuberantAvocado5095 @FlowerLily23 @GuardianAngel77 @GusteeMoon123 @inventivehouse2965 @JolivetteListens @Lauren63 Lolowise475 @mistymagic @MusicCandy @mutter3 @Nova101 @pamharley003 @PaytonGlover @Positron2 @purplehairedone @quietSail6485 @richyShiny39 @Roger57 @ScarletLand3247 @sincereHemlock2665 @SmileAtWill @SoulfullyAButterfly @soulsings @Tom444 @Tyedyedbutterfly wittyNest2941 @worthystruggle @Zengrl
I would have married my partner . But after I graduated from college, working full time at night going to school during the day. I left the area for a job. My partner wanted me support them when they went back to law school. I couldnt do it. And Ive spent a lot of years alone. They died of AIDS. I never trusted anyone again.If I had stayed they could be alive, and I wouldnt have been alone.
@Lauren63 I am sorry to hear this - but nevertheless I'm sure you both knew what was best.
@Lauren63 I am sorry for the loss of your partner and for your being alone so long. That must be rough for you.
Unfortunately we are in an epidemic of loneliness with millions of people feeling isolated. Hope 7cups can be there for some people.
@Lauren63 that is so sad I
I would have prevented my father making the biggest mistake in his life which cost him his breath.... I would have said sorry to my best friend for everything I have done to her..
@Zeroshade yes there are always those "what if I had done...?" things we harbor. I find writing notes to those people helps me find closure although I never mail them. Or I write the letters in a journal.
@soulsings Amazing ideas.
I would have put much more effort into deciding what I wanted to do with my life (honestly, any effort would have been more) instead of drifting aimlessly until I found myself on 7cups, alone, tired, broken, and afraid.
@ruffneckred we all do the best we can under the circumstances we find ourselves. Maybe 7cups is right where you are supposed to be. Maybe all that drifting was necessary to find a path to right here.
@SoulfullyAButterfly
Ooooohhhh, risky question! Lol.
I would have left town after I got my degree as a mature student. The sector I trained for was just too small here; I'd have been better off in a bigger centre. I also stayed because of a relationship (that lasted 11 years).
But then again, maybe I'd have fallen on my can in a new, more expensive city where I had fewer friends and no relatives. I'll never know. I do know that I did my best here and had to leave the sector for other work. No path is really predictable.
@redKite4725
Thank you for sharing that.
What we all have learned as a product of this discussion, is that yes, sometimes, nothing is predictable, but one great thing is that we all understand that we have tried our best!
Sometimes, trying is the best thing done, and it matters!
@SoulfullyAButterflyi dont feel I am a part of this community. You can take me off the tag list. I apologized. I was so upset . That is not an excuse. But you all judged me. No response. No friends. No nothing. Hope everyone is well! Take care.
@Lauren63 you are welcome into our community, I don't understand what you are refering to, but you have nothing to apologize for, we all are here for each other! Please feel free to PM me if you think that can help.
@redKite4725 I hear you. One question to ask is would you really want to give up who you are now and what your life is on the chance that you might find a better (or worse) outcome?
Did you hear me?
@Lauren63 I will PM you!
I would have run away from my home. If I never felt betrayed enough to shut out everything and everyone I would still be capable of love.
@Legion2772
Hugs Legion, I am pretty sure you are still a great caring, loving person.
I am sorry that you feel you have been betrayed.
@SoulfullyAButterfly I appreciate the gesture. But I'm a sociopath. I am void of empathy and literally incapable of love. So not everything you said was true. kek. Again, I appreciate the gesture though.
@Legion2772 No worries, and again this doesn't make you anything bad! Thank you for sharing your views.
If I could have been by my wife's side on the night that she died I most certainly would have. She was in a hospital 50 miles from where we lived. The staff told me to go home, there was nothing else I could do. I drove home and a few minutes later the hospital called me to tell me I should be there. She passed away 15 minutes before I got there, and I have felt badly about that ever since. I know, there is nothing I could have done, she would have died anyway, but I would have been there.
@Offmytrack sorry for your loss. Grief seems to be tied to guilt. "If we had only-------then ---------- would have happened" I had been on a trip for 30 hours in the car and my dad asked me to visit her because she was distressed. I was exhausted so I did not go. She died that night. It has taken me a long time to realize I did the best I could have under the circumstances.
Oh, @soulsings, that is a really hard thing to live with. The thing that got me through my wife's passing was that I am an amateur astronomer, and many years ago I saw a comet from my backyard. I still talk about it today, I do not grieve the loss of the comet. My wife was a comet in my life. There but for a short (thirty years) time, but forever remembered and celebrated.
@Offmytrack I agree focus on celebrating their lives.
If I could of seen the signs of a pedophile I would have been able to spare my daughter a lifetime of mental anguish.
@OrangeYouGlad68 sorry that you and your daughter had to endure that. Hoping for the best outcome for both of you.
Put myself first; rather than xhuband, children and grand's. Kept some money saved for me; not give so freely @SoulfullyAButterfly
@MaybeItsAging yes I feel bad that it is only when I get older and more aware of how my actions affect others do I wish I had more compassionate and kind to others.
If I could have, I would have never have moved out of my family home, and by king that I could have gotten a mortgage with my partner. Now, we are stuck in a rent trap an can't get out. But I thank everyday I get to sleep next to my partner, I thank everyday we make just enough to have fun.
@HeartfulSunshine yes renting is tough and usually costs more than owning a host. Sorry you are in that place but hope at some point you can find some better circumstances.