Chat Anxiety?

I'll apologise in advance for not directly answering your questions you've given, but I haven't been on as a guest for a long time, but I thought I'd give some ideas.

One thing that I've thought would be quite cool, is to give a little intro/help guide for the members/guest. This could be in the form of a video/animation, where it starts by giving a mock chat style transcript in real time - this could be the welcoming bit, and then also just show them what kind of happens, and then goes on to show them what to do to leave a review, when to block a listener and how to, how to find another listener through the browse listener page... It would need to be kept short and sweet to keep it engaging, but it may be something that could be shown whilst waiting to connect...

I think it's probably very similar to the ideas you may have, but instead of just a written mock chat, make it more fun and engaging in the video (unless that's what you had in mind!?)

I hope it kind of makes sense - I can picture it in my head, but writing it down clearly is proving difficult haha! Let me know if you'd like me to try explain it more!

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

Yes. I was probably on a 9 level. The anxiety of "Am I overreacting?" "Will I get someone who cares?" And just asking myself what am I doing and is this a good idea over and over.

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

Haven't had a second listener. So couldn't say. I'd say it wouldn't be as high but still up there. Especially after hearing all the horror stories about people being connected to listeners who weren't professional or who didn't seem like they cared. And after seeing how some listeners react in the Group Chats, it horrifies me to think about them helping others.

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

- "Am I overreacting?"

- "Who will be at the other end? What kind of person will they be? Will they take this seriously?" (This is when I allowed the system to pick for me instead of picking for myself. I was new, didn't realize that was a function.)

- "Will this work? What am I doing? How did it end up like this?"

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

When I first came to the site, I was a Guest. And, maybe I was so wrapped up in my own mind and just didn't see it, but somehow I missed the "Browse Listeners" option where I could take some control back and know who I was speaking to beforehand. I was so lucky in that I was matched with an amazing listener who I would never trade for the world, but for others who receive someone who failed to help them, I'm afraid what kind of damage that does. If they would even want to try again. So I don't know if this is really a suggestion, but giving some control back to people who are already spiraling out of it, it might help with the general anxiety by making the "Browse Listeners" a more prominent option at least for the first time.

I started to talk to about 3 listeners and after about 5 minutes disconnected from all of them once i started talking to them. I was very nervous going into the chats. I didn't know my boundaries or how to start the conversation. I dont feel comfortable just rambling out my problems to a stranger. I feel like my answers arent properly answered because they don't ask enough questions about myself to know everything and Ill state my problem with a bunch of facts. Which might be what I need but I am also looking for love, compassion, and understanding. If i wanted just facts I could google. I don't want to share information that could get myself or someone else in trouble even though i know i am anonymous. btw also I read the example of talking to a listener and the downplay of the persons problem seems so small that it makes me feel bad that my problems are so big and that it isnt as small as complaining that "my husband didn't take out the trash". If that really bothers someone I dont mean to offend. I just dont know my boundaries and I am nervous to share these facts and that is probably where the truth lies of where i need real advice. Much love <3 thank you

Hi Glen, I've not pressed the chat button as I'm a listener but I remember experiencing anxiety in my past, long ago when I had to call the Samaritans. I imagine that a lot of members or new people to the site feel anxiety because they don't know the person and because they often feel very silly talking to somebody about problems they may not have discussed before.

I have a couple of ideas concerning this, and making people feel more comfortable.

Problem:

1. People new to the site may not be aware / cannot find that they can choose a listener and what they specialise in, so simply get put on the waiting list and are unsure of how the listener may view their issues, I wouldn't say the site was difficult to commandeer around, but having known the site a while I wouldn't say it was particularly easy for new members either.

Potential answer:

1. If after the 'connect now' button another button came up, saying "would you like to choose your listener?" and with answers Yes, or No - then the list of active listeners came up if you pressed yes this may be more assuring for the new member. At this point we could include a dropdown list at the top for specialities and say, if a person was struggling with depression they could scroll down through issues till they found the listeners with expertise in depression, before choosing one.

Thanks :)

I'm glad that we are looking in making people less anxious about the process,sadly it can be quite hard to control, but Ill do my best to contribute ^-^ 1-Wow being a member was like months ago for me but I remember at first I was super scared like 8/10 or maybe 9 ,its hard to say. 2-I think I have always been scared for the month I was there as a member but it slowly graduated , I think the second time it was at 7 ,because of a comforting listener the first time happily. 3&4- I think was made me the most anxious was that the listener would be "too good" for me , that they wouldnt take my problems seriously or that I dont deserve this compared to others and such. I think the tutorial idea could help a little , something that would make it looks more charming ,welcoming and less serious could help , but thats hard to do in order to remain professional . PS: Im on my phone so I dont know how this will look like D:

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

I was extremely anxious the first time i hit "connect now." The first time was about an 8

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

I was still anxious the second time, but it was only a 7

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

I was always anxious that somehow the person would know who I was or that even if they didn't, they would still judge the narcissisic, introspective mess they got stuck talking to. The sound notification also increased my anxiety. Something about the tone made me extremely anxious and made me more tightly wound each time it went off.

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

The idea of integrating the calm.com video could be effective. I would also change the message notifier to something gentler.

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

I think my anxiety may have been high, but not about the chat. For the chat itself, maybe a 2?

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

Again, with the chat itself maybe a 1.5?

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

Personal health issues are a major cause of my anxiety. When it comes to the chat, the first time just because it was new and different. Future times it's more about the listener - there are so many bad ones! Some just want a sex chat, but it's pretty common to be told to go to the doctor or go seek out the cure - currently there is no cure and I'm under the care of numerous doctors. Once I inform them of that they state they can't help me.

I'm a bit fed up with the terrible listeners who don't seem to think I deserve being listened to or should have some emotional support for physical issues.

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

The first time I think seeing a mock chat would be useful. Not 'to just see it's messenging' - that's what I already expected, but rather to have an idea regarding the tone that those messages should convey.

For subsequent chats, get better listeners. There are great ones but when I send out a general request I would say about 50% of the time I end up with a terrible listener. Having more options to select from and encouraging listeners to stick with the categories they know or at least have an idea of being empathetic towards.

It would also be nice to send more personal requests. Again, more categories for this would be beneficial. It would also be helpful if the listener's status was more prominant for them - far too often listeners have their status listed as 'online' when they aren't available. It's to the point where it takes about an average of an hour to connect with someone this way, as I wait about 15 minutes before cancelling a request and it typically takes multiple listeners to find someone who is listed as online to pickup.

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you? Yes I was, I think about 8

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10? yes and I think that will stay a while, it is also the process or knowing that it's ok to talk about your feelings, something I still have to learn.

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety? That I didn't know what to say, that the listener might think I'm weird, that I was a bother to him/her.

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener? I don't really know but I did like the reassuring messages in between the chat lines

Hey there everyone!

So what I've noticed for me is sometimes I'll intend to hit the "Group Support" tab & actually click the "Chat with a new Listener" tab by accident. It's happened more than once for me & I end up leaving immediately. I do apologize to the listener & certainly let them know I hit the wrong button.

As for when I'm searching for a listener & hit "connect now", I do get anxious for a few reasons, but don't sign out. My anxiety rises because I feel I have to tell SOMEBODY something important, but hesitate because I'm so unsure if 1. If I say too much that they will get triggered 2. They won't know how to address my concern & stop talking to me (this has happened).

Anxiety the first time I was waiting for a listener to connect: 7 Second time: 5 I think the mock transcripts would be very good. First time I got on this site I didn't know if with my problem I was even in a good place. The categories (all those we can choose from before the chat begins to get us a better suited listener) are good, but they seem vague to me. Transcripts would be great. A good thing that should stay is the information to maybe try a different listener that pops up after the first chat. My first experience wasn't good at all, so this pop up info that not everyone's problems get solved by one chat is what kept me on this site.