Love Addiction
Hi everyone!
I’ve already posted this thread somewhere else but I am new here, so I don’t know yet how it works and probably I posted it in the wrong space. I received 2 comments under my posts that have been so helpful…So I am trying here because I’ve been not so lucky about the 1-1 chat.
I dated a guy 3 weeks ago. We spent a decent time together. He said repeatedly that I was pretty and that we were bonding or spending nice time. Then he said “I just want a friends with benefits kind of thing” and I was like “Jesus Christ not again, why, what’s wrong with me, I always date the same kind of guy”. I am a love addicted (I guess - I got that after my therapy). So a part of me didn’t want to lose the guy, the moment we had together…I slept with him. The sex was awesome and the moment after too. I seemed like there was more than just sex. He was very altruistic and tender. He took me home and he wrote me that my kisses were really great and the date was great too. I was sure that I would not have heard from him anymore and instead he wrote me only 20 minutes from we separate from each other. I wrote him the next morning to answer to his message and the night. I told him that I spent the day thinking about him all day long. And the day after. He answered and I answered back. After that nothing. So I panicked and I told him that friendship with benefits was not for me and that I would have liked to know him better. He said that he was ok with that but that he was not interested to know me better (because of his previously suffering relationship blabla) that the sex with me was amazing but nothing more. Then we start fighting and the conversation ended not very well. This on the chat of a dating app. I removed him from this chat after that. 5 days after I wrote him on instagram that i was very sorry about my behavior but he blocked me even without reading my message. And I was devastated from this…I felt like garbage. Any perspectives or tips, points of views?
If something seems not clear I can give other details about it.
Thank you all❤️
I’ve heard this from so many female friends that use dating apps (I’m married but believe me my relationship is far from perfect) whether or not it goes that far. I wish I could tell you more other than the friends I have that have had luck on them say that they don’t give the time of day to the guys that start out saying they want friends with benefits. Even sites that don’t advertise as hook-up sites seem to attract every type of person including the ones that just want a physical relationship. Two of my female friends have had meaningful relationships after meeting men online and they said that these guys seem to be genuinely interested in what they were interested in and may have told them wow you’re very beautiful but asked them questions about where how they grew up etc before anything else. I think sometimes a physical relationship fills a void but if you want companionship I wouldn’t sleep with the guys that seem to demand that first. Bc you are beautiful and you are nice and you are funny. And those things would make any human being want to know more about you!
The worst part? He asked me how was my childhood and stuff…we talked so much that night, both of us, about a lot of things about our lives…plus he was not the only guy who did this to me…the one before him asked “did you suffer a lot about…?”…this is exactly the point…they are not so easy to bust…If it was easy probably I would not have even talk about him…
but thank you for your words :)
It kind of seems like he doesn't know what he wants but you deserve better than just being ghosted.
Hi hun,
It seems like we are alike in this sense. I am not told that I am, but I feel I might be love addicted too. For many reasons. We need to put all our energy into self love if we cannot feel like living without love. I feel for you. Stay strong.