Addiction & ADHD
I’ve been on a controlled substance for about 8 years now. I started abusing them with my ex husband bc nothing I did was ever enough. Now I’m still stuck in a loop every month of abusing them and then crashing. I’ve had my bf administer them to me instead for a couple months, but I wanted to take control back and here I am awake in the middle of the night again. Any helpful advice would be appreciated. I would quit them completely, but I feel so dumb without them. Ugh.
@humansunshine2025 I'm really sorry you've been going through so much. You're not alone, and you truly matter 💝 I wish you the support here 🍀 and things start to feel a little lighter 🤍 Sending lots of love your way 🐾💕
I'm going to assume this substance is Adderall.
Is it instant release?
Maybe XR would be better for you or do you feel like it doesn't matter?
Honestly, your issue isn't uncommon and when I first took stimulants for my ADD in high school I abused them for a bit. I had Ritalin at first which was worse because of its short duration of action. It's mechanism of action is more cocaine like.
Then like you said the latter half of the month or so was withdrawals and then back to my ADD riddled self. How I fixed it in my case(and I think this is a common thing to do) is to not take it on weekends or any day you really don't need it. My doctor actually told me to do this (not saying this is your doctor's advice. Talk to yours first.).Give yourself a chance to sleep and your body to have a day or two to drop it's tolerance. Take N-Acetyl Cysteine, Magnesium, DXM or other NDMA receptor antagonist (a mild one. Not like ketamine.) too. This helps reduce tolerance to stimulants and some other drugs
Make sure you eat really well and give yourself PLENTY of time to sleep those days. They are lazy free days. You may not have your meds but you have video games or anything that can hold your attention and give you some dopaminergic pleasure. This also your brain healing day(s). Treat it like a king/queen.
Then when you go back to dosing you will have extra and a little bit lesser of a tolerance. Luckily Amphetamine salts in Adderall are addictive but the withdrawals aren't as intense as say Methamphetamine or Aminorex and it's anologues they used to prescribe. So just spend a few free days without your meds which isn't a "fun" solution but it will make sure your medication keeps working the way it's supposed to.
And I know you're supposed to build a tolerance to it for it to work but if you're looking for the euphoria from it then that's the way it's usually done. Basically, don't waste your Adderall on a rest day.
Lastly, self control. Gotta weigh your options whenever you open that bottle. It's a mind game and if you can't win then it might be worth questioning if you can handle the medication. It's perfectly healthy to admit you just don't have self control over a certain drug. It's better that you feel "dumb" and be healthy. Stimulant abuse can cause a lot of issues down the line. Just take care of yourselves!
Also if you bf is also taking them why can't he get his own prescription? Serious question. It's not abnormal to abuse stimulants because you need them. Just food for thought.
Hope this helps and/or you work it out. Get enough sleep and eat! That's number 1 really.
There's my story. Not advice.