Crippling porn addiction and sliding mental health
I've been regularly watching porn since I was around 13. I'm now in my early 20's, and I've hit a huge turning point in my life where I need to kick this awful addiction for the better of not only myself, but for those I love as well. For the past year or so I've been needing more "risky" content for me to really get that rush. Im terrified of being a borderline pdfile. Some of the group chats I inadvertently joined were horrid, and not at all a representation of who I am or want to be. Well if that's the case then WHY DO I GO BACK. I'm now filled with nothing but shame, guilt, sadness, and anxiety because of this awful addiction. I keep telling myself it's not the content I like, it's the feeling it gives me. Which I believe is still true. I need to get help and get out of this endless cycle of relapse, pain, paranoia, shame, and repeat. I've begun having panic attacks (something I've never experienced until a couple months ago). My gf, parents, and friends all deserve so much better than what I am, they are amazing people who I'm beyond blessed to know and be close to. They could never look at me the same if they knew the extent of my addiction. I want to be stronger, I want to be confident in myself again, I want to be a man worthy of the love he receives. I'm open to any input you may have, as well as conversations outside of this. I've never been to therapy, I can't afford it, but right now I've never felt so alone and scared.
@tealHemlock6216
I'm really sorry you're going through this and I do believe you, when you say that's not who you are or want to be. You can message me anytime to have an 1-1 chat, I think I would like to have some more insight on your situation before I give any type of support
@ridingonabus hey I am going through a similar thing, can you check my recent post. I could really use some help please. Even any accountability
@tealHemlock6216 Hey bro, I am the exact same , check my recent post from an hour ago or so. If you want, we can both keep each other accountable whenever we get a trigger
@Clutch11
You’re not alone in this. It’s okay to feel scared and overwhelmed right now. The fact that you’re reaching out and recognizing the need for change already shows strength.
This addiction doesn’t define who you are. There is a way forward — one step at a time. There is light at the end of the tunnel, even if it feels far off. You are known and cared for. Please keep reaching out and speaking. You don’t have to face this all on your own. I am free any time.
