No compassion. No love.
No compassion. No love. Even from someone who sits there and does it with you. I hate myself for wanting it. I can't stand to look in the mirror... But they can,kng enough to judge you for doing it. My own husband looks down on me... He'll get high, but it's only okay because he says so. He's in control so it's alright as long as what he says, goes. But when I break down and tell him why I relapse and how I just need help, I'm overreacting. When I list all the things I'd give up just to be happy, I'm too much. I miss living. I miss dates and going out to dinner. I miss outings and going to the park. I never go anywhere. I never do anything. Why do I feel bad when I beg for him to care about something that I want? About my happiness? I feel like I'm not making much sense.
@orangePlace5851
You are not overreacting. we cannot change them only us. If you want to do things or go out, do it without him. A person who does not see himself and what he is missing let him... IF he thinks need to be his way will decide to do things when he is left out.... most have some sort of FOMO and that is why he would want you to just sit around while he gets high.
Instead of thinking about what you would like to do find ways to do some of it. Pity him for choosing to miss out... and not just in the short term but long term as addiction drugs or alcohol often ends up with long term effects memory and brain function. Time is not something we get more of ... no one knows how long they have he has chosen to waste his life high .... make your choice to use your time wisely. I did that and my partner finally figured out I was not waiting for him to catch up. It is amazing how much we have gotten done since he realized I would not wait.
