Self medicating because the way the health care system works
Well hello everyone I'm hopeful some of you will see this and know your not alone so I've been a drug addict for about 6 years now I started at 13 it was benzos and alcohol for me till I was 14 going on 15 I went too rehab cleaned myself up let me tell you the first year nothing felt right everything felt so off well I'm 19 now and in-between now and then I slipped up a few times but now I'm right back where I was in a way definitely not as bad but still depending on something so until I went into rehab I was on addrall and a few other medication non of them I abused cuz 1 it wasn't my thing and 2 they helped so I didn't feel the need too well after I got out of rehab they marked me down as a addict took away my meds it was all good till I started getting older and the problems those meds where helping with dramatically got worse so I do the only thing I knew too do I self medicted I now have been using meth for about a year not for the high I mean ya sometimes that part of me comes out and I over endulge but this is definitely not what I wanted too be doing i honestly just wanna feel normal and it makes me feel that way without it my thoughts are out of control and sounds like someone turned a volume knob too 11 and taking it makes it so quiet and peaceful I no longer feel overwhelmed 24/7 when I'm on it and it helps with my what I would OCD like if certain things are not my exact way I get so angry and upset and it feels like there's a itch I can't scratch until I fix it it calms it down some doesn't help with my hyper fixation tho like I'm obsessed with working on and building cars and technology or doing research its pretty much what I do 24/7 If I dont have something mentally stimulateing it feels like I'm just empty inside so um ya I wanted too share my experience in hopes that some of you know your not alone in self medicating. And I think the medical system needs a rework like I get it addicts shouldbt get hard drugs but at the same time ik there's others like me that seriously need it like me too just feel normal because our brains are that different
@Cupcakethewolf03 Self medicating is really a very bad idea. You can end up in much worse shape than you were before. 12 step modeled rehab is not for everyone. I would encourage you to seek medical help to see if they can be more helpful. There is not just one medical solution, but there are unfortunately some that don’t work well for everyone.