Asexual with a porn addiction. 19 yo.
You read that right. I feel absolutely pathetic. I'm trying to grow as a person. I have a dark past as a teen lurking and being involved in NSFW spaces; at some points I was sent nudes. I was even groomed at one point. I'm trying to heal.. but porn is like a comfort/security blanket for me. especially when I'm anxious.
I feel like I'm lying to everyone - like I'm manipulative. People call me kind and stuff but it makes me feel like I'm lying to them - that if they knew the real me they'd never want to be my friend again.
I just feel like a fake. I don't know what to do.
Try to get pass your past, we all have a past that we are not proud of. But try to redeem it buy trying to become a better person, this way you will not feel like you are letting down your friends and family. Change one habit at a time, small steps and you will succeed becoming the person that you wish. God bless you and grant you help!
I too have naively messed around nsfw spaces. Everytime I inch closer to test the limits of how far I can go, each time harder than the last. But I find it therapeutic to just write on here. I have said stuff on this app that I can't imagine saying to others irl. The fact that you are admitting these things on here is a good step to healing.
