At a loss. Advice would be nice.

Would seeing a sex therapist be an option?

@MrPanix

@MrPanix First of all...thank you so much for sharing. I know that this is not an easy thing to talk about and you are very courageous for opening up. This is most certainly a difficult issue to share with potential partners due to the amount of stigma it carries.

Are you still actively engaged in your sexual addiction? Is it something you are looking to address?

Welcome MrPanix,

Remember that though your previous experiences are part of you, they do not define you. How long have you been in recovery? I'd recomment looking for a Sex Addiction Anonymous group, they are relatively inexpensive and meet weekly like AA. Do you have an accountability partner to talk to about your addiction?

Fear of relapse is certainly real. How do you think you'd feel if you met a partner who shared your past?

Glad to have you hear,

Kurt

@MrPanix

You are a young man and likely to be driven by the exhilaration of your youth. This is a lifestyle that you embarked upon when you were at high-school and it is a way of life - at the moment - that your are continuing.
In a way, this is understandable in your circumstances and by feeling humiliated when you are admitting this is positive in a way because you are showing humanity on your part. For a start, you are admitting to your actions which is positive, because you are not happy about what you are doing.
Feeling humiliated can have a negative element, however, because you may find youself 'dwelling' on that humiliation which is not going help you deal with your situation.
You mention your 'first relationship' at high school. For a start you are looking back on your past and assuming that what you had was a 'relationship'. You would have been younger at the time of this happening and certainly your idea of a relationship will have been mixed in with a healthy amount of naivety.
Within a week of your first relationship at high school, you certainly will have had many other 'distractions'. These will have been from either other females, friends, events in and out of school - probably films and TV will have also shaped much of your views on earlier life. Putting this simply, you were probably (and understandably) not ready for that 'relationship'. For these reasons, you could put some blame for your habitual behaviour on this part of your life, but not all of it. By blaming this early (and learning) part of your life, you are being rather 'too hard' on yourself.
The more important issue for you seems to be the continuation of this behaviour. Even though you are still young, you do appear to be on a 'treadmill' with it. You mention 'impulsive' , 'irrational' and 'gratification which are likely to be what you are actually seeking to satisfy yourself sexually.
The likely reason you got married was to try and prove to yourself that you could 'beat' this situation and were hoping that you could be 'cured'. Many people believe that getting married will make them 'normal' and 'cure' them of whatever they feel is 'wrong' about themselves.
Maybe the reason for your behaviour is the fact that you thrive off the 'thrill' of the 'chase'. There is the 'excitement' of this sudden, or random type of behaviour. This 'impulsiveness' is what may excite you. No plan, build-up or holding back. No 'reservations'. In some ways, you are a young man that seeks the quick adventure.
When you were married, you would have found yourself - within a short space of time - confined to the 'mundane', reality of married life. Your wife would - as expected of course - be considering a future of 'building a home' and thinking of children, maybe a dog and what shrubs would go best in which borders. Looking at houses, apartments, kitchens, fridges, you name it - and so on would have likely lead you to being rather bored - and would continue to yearn for the excitement of what you were doing before marriage.
Your wife left you when she found out of course, leaving you to accept and continue with your passion. Having no-one to 'answer to' and becoming more confident would make this lifestyle even easier for you. This does appear to be an addiction of some sort.
The 'driving force' of your addiction is the 'impulsive and irrational need for gratification' as you so put it. This for you is 'the thrill of the chase'. There is this excitement of meeting someone new and then 'after the event' you are likely to feel satisfied by achieving your goal - so you need to 'move on'.
Again, feeling disgusted with yourself will not help your situation. It will encourage more negative feelings about yourself. Part of your problem is the likelyhood of you feeling frightened about committing to a long term relationship. Do you feel that this lifestyle prevents you from facing this fear? When you move on to a new partner, you are in some way 'taking charge' of the 'brief sexual encounter' by 'finishing' with the previous partner. You are in charge of the journey from the 'first meeting' to the 'final moment'. Could it be possible that you fear rejection?.....By 'moving on' quickly, you avoid being rejected. In a way - it is you who finishes these very brief encounters first.
You will need to do some research into some kind of therapy. Speaking to a counsellor/therapist will be a good starting point to help you explore deeper and develop an understanding about these impulsive feelings and your behaviour.
OK!.....There is the issue of how and where you meet these partners.....How do you achieve this!.....Let's be honest!....Many men will read something like this with envy!.......
Obviously it's your business on how you go about this. However, one can reasonably assume that a woman does not just 'leap into bed' on first meeting a man. You must have built some form of trust to achieve your goal. There is the issue here regarding the women that you are choosing here. Are they in a similar disposition to you? Where do you go to achieve your 'goals'?.....And what about the STD's?.....You are obviously contracting these STDs due to having sex with these women.
There appears to be an issue regarding speed here because of the number of sexual partners you've had. Although you are blaming yourself, it can be reasonable to accept that the women you are 'picking up' are not exactly looking for a 'sensible one-to-one relationship themselves'....Or....OK....Maybe they are deep down......Maybe they are 'just like you'....... It's risky for them as well......

...OK.....You could try conversing 'more deeply' with one of these women.....Just an idea.....

By treating your situation as an addiction, you may find the solution or 'way out' of the current lifestyle that you wish to end. If you were a drug addict, being in a house full of other addicts encourages the addiction and - unfortunately - the addict finds him/herself unable to leave the 'home' as it could mean living on the street. That wouldn't be any better.
However, one way or another, in order to get 'clean', they need to leave that environment and must somehow seek professional help in order to do so. This can also be said for alcoholics. Of course, trying to stay away from the pub scene/shops selling 'bargain booze' is another challenge in itself.
An addict must also focus on what they want as a result of giving up that addiction. Take smoking for example. To fight your cigarette cravings.....You need to find healther activities and focus on the positive, physical results....And the money saved could buy other enjoyable items or spend on new hobbies.
You need to distance yourself from the women who are - like you - wanting 'no strings', one-night-stands. Let's be honest! Think about the STD's and ask really where they are coming from! Have the STD's been 'passed along the line'? What is the history behind some of these women?
Focus on fighting the cravings by thinking about 'that' real and monogamous relationship. Broaden your social life by going to bars, clubs etc that you know the women are not just looking to 'hook-up' for one night. Try to avoid the areas where you meet these 'one-night-stand' girls. Look at your other hobbies, interests etc....Or, find new ones (rather like someone trying to give-up smoking) that will take your mind away from this addictive lifestyle.
Join a gym, perhaps? You must have some social skills to do what you do. If you have a 'circle of friends' then try socialising with them more, even if they are in relationships and you feel the 'odd one out'.
Try dating sites where you feel that the women are looking for a relationship. There's no guarantee that people are telling the truth on these sites.....But that is the risk we take in all walks of life. Do try to avoid those that are already married. Focus on those that are single and read their profiles carefully. Should you feel yourself 'giving in to temptation' and searching for 'hook-ups' then perhaps you should avoid them altogether. Swith off the PC and go for a run.....Bit like if you have a cigarette craving....
Do you have to discuss your history?....If you can overcome this.....And as long as you are cured of your STD's....You may not need to talk about your past....
However....If you are still battling with this issue whilst starting a new relationship then you probably should be honest and hope that your new partner is understanding....Though, frankly, that is going to be somewhat difficult. If you have a serious STD and feel that you could put someone in danger, you will have to discuss this with your future partner and seek professional advice......
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This is certainly a difficult situation for you....You may find it a real struggle to fight this....In the end....You may feel that you don't want to fight this...If you feel that this lifestyle is part of you and who you are.....Then you may find that as long as everything is 'legal and consensual'.....You may be happier pursuing what you do...
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However....If you do want to change your lifestyle.....You must focus on what you want to achieve....Your end goal is a real adult relationship as a genuine loving couple.

@MrPanix The right woman will come along. I was honest with him after our 3rd date and admitted I cheated before. So did he, but he doesn't have addiction. I was so worried he would have thought I was a slut. So, be honest. If she is understanding, she will stay. Or at the very least be honest about your high sexual drive and needs...