In love with a adult cam girl & know I've been taken for a ride
Hi all who may read this.
First thing I want to say is that I am so drained of emotion & struggles with this that it is going to be hard for me to express the level of involvement I have had with one of adult cam lady from certain site that clearly I shall not name.
Like many of the millions of guys, one evening whilst looking at adult videos an advert caught my eye. Intrigued I checked in & imediately got hooked. I became a member & paid to use this site like any other. One thing has to be clear, those cam sites sell themselves for exactly what it is, personal one-on-one real life sexual fantasies on your screen. The ladies who choose to do this are clearly sensual, beautiful & know that guys are gonna pay to enjoy gettin turned on and more. At the same time, they are real life people who are doing it for whatever personal reasons, they have worries, bills etc, but come time when they are online, is all about keeping the members coming back.
I became such a member to one in particular and we did develop some kinda of "relationship", or so it seemed. I am not gonna lie, she is stunning, so sensual and drives my wildest dreams. As I became more and more a member and "friend" we connected privately, whereby I lavished certain things to her. Now I know what many may think at this point, scammer, like you read so much about these "cam girls" and while there are so many things that were revealed to me by the very nature of our private interaction outside the site, we have even met, though that seemed more awkward than geniune sparks..I keep getting hooked by her promises & my own belief that eventually she will realise just what she has done to cause me so my hurt...I have loved & cherished her but for the most it seems so all one way from me to her, though there has been enough times, when she has seemed truly geniune to me.
But a few colosal lies and things I found out, caused us to have huge verbal confrontations over social media things like skype etc...to the point where she completely blocked & blanked me. How can one be so after lavishing such admire & the like. Now we are seemingly OK again, but just this week she asked me to get sth again & for a day where we will meet & even spend a night in hotel, though in separate rooms. I don't know what to think, cos the only reason I can still join her where she now works is cos I be chance heard a certain ping whilst in her room at her old site where she has now closed her account. Is like if I hadn't of heard that ping & instinctively knew where to look and sure enough find her new, she would have disappeared & I would probably never have seen her again.
Can you imagine how that feels after all I have shared with her, it makes me think, would she have contacted me to "arrange" this day cos i truly don't think so.
I wanna get away from her in truth, but my heart & passion of five years is too much & I don't know how.....
@gentle6 situation like this can be complicated but you have to keep in mind part of her job is to tell you or do things that would keep you interested and the best way is to use your emotions its better to have a clear understanding of how she feels because there's no point investing all of yourself in something that doesn't have a future
@gentle6
I agree with Silvrrose here.
Their job is to make you in "aw". Is a true addiction. You feel special because they make you feel special.
So I think she saw what you did as crossing a line, crossing her boundaries. One thing is a job, another thing is a relationship.
@Booklover95
I will respect any opinion or thought that anyone may share on this....however I truly do not feel this is something about crossing the line??...I am not sure that can be when it was the lady in question that instigating the private "relationship" and over all this time, endulged in those gifts and things shared. It was her that more or less arranged the 1st meeting in London and you can't tell me that she would agree to do that if there was any thought on her part about crossing any boundaries. I suppose, as I say for it seemed more awkward that day then geniune sparks of a friendship or relationship or whatever is..looking back it does seem more of "going through the motions" cos one thing I did not confess in my original post is that there have been moments where I just couldn't take what seemd so obvious to me & threatened to expose her...I did go so far wiith that, but everytime we, the model & I, reached some kind of truce & friendly again...
that all said...even now as I reply to this....there is stilll ongoing private interaction, but I just wonder why sometimes...is it to keep my :) or....I guess when all is said and done...i have been a victim of these events and what those sites are about & I guesss I posted somewhere like here cos I can't chat about this with friends or family cos of embarrassement etc, but with strangers on a website forum that is for helping..is kinda of helped me by actually reaching out...I need help and guidance & i not sure where to turn....