Need to talk to someone after a break up/Venting

LOL This is more of a vent-ish kind of things, but I'm ALWAYS up to other people talking and responding to this post.

Long story short: I cheated on my bf, he broke up with me the first time, but after a month, he decided he wanted to get back together and started courting me. I fell harder in love with him and we got back together for almost a year before he broke up with me again, citing that he tried and couldn't forgive me. But in reality, he started an emotional relationship with a woman who started working at his place for 2 months.

He's was also giving severe mixed signals before, like he wanted both cakes and eat them too. And now that she has voluntarily resigned from that workplace and put him into financial debt (he's got three cards, maxed out on all of them for her bs), he still wants to be with her. She's got a 2 yr old daughter, claims to be in a custody battle and was telling ppl that she got fired, but she really resigned (This is the TLDR, so there's more, but this is what I've been told and what I found out).

So really, my anxiety is stemming from a lot of things that this break up produced:

- Not feeling worthy because of what I've done.

- Does he still want me back after KNOWINGLY being duped like this?

- I'm 32 yrs old, I know that's still young, but I don't go out often to meet men, not even through my friend group, so I'm just worried about my future and stuff.

- Would another man accept or even want to be with someone like me? (I have A LOT of history)

- Amongst other stuff that the break up left over. 

I honestly just don't want to emotionally overload my other friends since I've vented to them enough and when I do see him or stuff, I'm just emotionally overloading him and his family has stopped talking to me when they originally offered their ears to me. So I'm just.....constantly anxious over my future, whether it's going to still have him or not, my own future, my healing process, just the whole nine yards and stuff. >___<