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What do you think about when you don't want to think?

User Profile: thoughtfulmomma
thoughtfulmomma June 17th, 2023

A big problem I have is not being able to shut my brain off a lot of the time. I'm always in "what if" and "worst case scenario" mode. I can keep myself distracted with watching TV or playing games or when I'm at work mostly. Even at bedtime I listen to podcasts or radio shows or something all night long to give me some moments of quiet.

But, during all the quiet, not doing anything, times each day, I struggle. I try to meditate, but my mind wanders to all of my worries and anxieties. I did okay for a while, but recently there have been a lot of big moments happening in my life so I'm on high alert with my anxiety.

What do you focus on when your brain just wants to take you to all of the negativity instead of the positive things? How do you focus and calm your mind from your anxiety without noise like podcasts, tv, games...?

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User Profile: hopefulPond6108
hopefulPond6108 June 17th, 2023
@thoughtfulmomma The brain is wired to go to worst case scenario. It’s a protection mechanism. But of course we don’t have to follow its worse case story. This takes practice of course, to not engage in the thought stream. If you meditate and these thoughts come up trust that you’re not doing anything wrong. Developing a good meditation practice can be really helpful but you might need more information on how to work with thoughts in meditation.

Another thing is the “wolf you feed”. I’m sure you have heard the story of our minds having a “good wolf” and a “bad wolf” and the question is, “which wolf wins?” The answer is, “the one we feed.” Anxiety can be like the bad wolf. Sometimes it is good to not feed the bad wolf too much news or things that will get us into the thoughts about bad things happening. So if you find yourself feeling anxious ask yourself what you have been exposing yourself to.

Sometimes I notice my mind really wants a lot of stimulation and I allow myself to be distracted and entertained by podcasts and tv. It provides some degree of comfort sometimes. Oh the other hand, I also am aware that perhaps I’d be better off with some silence and meditation. I would advise you to try to keep these balanced. Not total quiet all the time and not 24/7 stimulation. Hope this helps.
2 replies
User Profile: thoughtfulmomma
thoughtfulmomma OP June 19th, 2023

@hopefulPond6108

I'm pretty sure my good wolf is about 5 pounds and my bad wolf is about 1000 pounds. He gets fed WAY too much. I'm trying to work on it. Trying to mentally "walk away" from always thinking those bad/what if thoughts. I just want to stop and to be happy and not so worried anymore. I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling bad.

1 reply
User Profile: hopefulPond6108
hopefulPond6108 June 19th, 2023

@thoughtfulmomma This link is about depression, but this dr also has a book on anxiety. It might be helpful with some tools to help you feed the good wolf more often.

https://youtu.be/H1T5uMeYv9Q

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