Am I The Asshole? : I did not come out to greet people
So, It is to do with my family but also my life as a whole. I know I am not a good person, I have a lot of issues and I am still struggling with them. But sometimes, I fail to see why they make so big of a deal out of some things.
We are 9 PM and everybody came back home. I was in the room and I heard them talking and entering the corridor(we have a sofa in there) and the room was connected to the sofa and was kinda open. Usually it is the room where we come to undress ince we come from the outside so I was kinda expecting someone to come in at some notice.
I was also feeling unwell/dizzy and they were talking loudly and at some point about how I must be the one to have eaten their things (my aunt). Some were true, other not and I did not want to come into the discussion since my aunt was kinda acting cold/ignoring since a few days because of some other issue.
The issue was this. We all sleep in the same room and I have the bad habit of sleeping late. Most times, they would come to get me when they were about to sleep in. That day, I was writing and did not see the time pass. Nobody came to see me, so I guesses it was okay for me to write a little more. When I finally came to sleep, it was about 12:30 AM. Unfortunately the door creaks so when I entered they woke up. My aunt started screaming to turn the lights out and that if I wanted to sleep at 1 it was my issue but the door was too loud and I wasn't being mindful. (For reference, the lights were on and that same week we all slept at 2am without issue). The next day I got a message from my mom berating me for what I did and she gave me a curfew, saying I was free to do whatever I wanted the day and that I wasn't a bat. She said the same thing the morning too. When I came back, I didn't change clothes, no greetings, when my sister came out of the room to tell me to come sleep early that it was disturbing my aunt.
Okay, I got it. But after that my aunt continued to act cold towards me, so I was kinda avoiding her, but unfortunately we sleep on the same bed so it was always awkward.
That's the awkward atmosphere that I was still avoiding, when I did not come out to see them. But when I finally came out, my mom asked me if was home since then to which I answered yes, I was. She acted shocked that I did not come out all the while thay were talking, to which I did not know how to react.
Turns out they were doing some chores(cleaning ice shest?) and a little after I heard my aunt comment about us not helping out. So, apparently my attitude towards them was alike to someone's towards some animals and that again, I wasn't treating them like people.
My aunt and mom both got extremely angry at me. My mom said I was growing mean by the day and my aunt gave me a nasty side eye, which really hurt me.
I know I have a LOT of issues. Especially towards my relationship with others. I tend to ignore people when struggling with my feelings and not show emotions not to end up crying or to badly react (that happened) and am too sensitive over some matters. So, I want to know if I am being an *** here.
Now they are all (mom, aunt, sister) in the room enjoying themselves. I feel like I am victimizing myself too much but I am so lost. Without my family, I have nobody, and I still can't bring myself to do right by them.
If they hate me, I fear I have nobody to rely on.
@diligentSheep3836
im so sorry ur going through this. this is not ur fault at all.
as we're growing up we need privacy to do our own things. if everyone is sharing a space and u can't set any boundaries, it is natural for anyone to withdraw themselves in an overwhelming situation. u did not deserved to be yelled at. if they respected u as a person they would have informed u in a kindly manner, screaming just stirs things up more.
i hope u find a way to get out of that situation. u deserve peace 💕
@diligentSheep3836
It sounds like you’re feeling stressed, hurt, and misunderstood. When people feel overwhelmed or misunderstood, it’s very common to withdraw as a way of protecting themselves from further hurt. When our mind isn’t at ease, interacting with others can feel especially difficult, particularly when we don’t feel accepted or understood.
Living closely with multiple family members can make situations feel intense, and differences in routines or sensitivities can easily lead to tension. When we’re already struggling internally, it can be hard to stay emotionally available for others — and that doesn’t make someone a bad person.
I can hear how painful it is to feel like the people you depend on for support are upset with you. That kind of fear and loneliness can feel very heavy.
You’re not alone in feeling this way, and you’re not broken for struggling. It’s okay to feel confused and overwhelmed right now. We’re here to listen and support you as you sort through these feelings.