Falling apart
I keep having fights with my family about idk what to do. Today it was about me and my mom drinking sparkling water and the reason was that it was unhealthy and we already had two that whole day. My father and sister was teaming up and telling us we need to listen to them when they say we worry about us although they are shouting. Other days it feels like I am gas light to think people care about me while they are raising their voice or yelling. Idk what to do when it comes with my family. It’s like a battle of egos and pride that makes sense only to the person speaking. When my parents speak it’s like trying to talk to a brick wall while when me and my sister speak we are trying to understand each other until we don’t want to anymore. It’s a seesaw of blades coming down on our heads and the rules are you're a coward for flinching. Trying to save yourself from yourself but you are living with 3 other clones of yourself and it’s you, me and I all other again at the circus. I don’t want to run away because that would be the easy choice but I don’t want to wither away from the pain of holding my family together. If you loved me you’d let me go ,right? But I can’t forget what we got and what all I know.
@RavenCrossfire
Your feelings are valid.
And they matter.
It's difficult often to communicate within a family but it's important to find our safe space and somewhere we get peace and just feel ourselves 🥰
Honestly this app is what keeps me sane. Getting a little comment like this helps a bunch with pushing forward. I’m trying to find a good solution to my problems🥲
@RavenCrossfire That sounds like a terrible place to come home to every day 😞 I'm sorry you have to deal with the way they act 💙
I hope things get a little better soon 💙
I want to blame the fact my sister is getting ready to go back to school but this situation is definitely all the time. One day my sister is fighting with Mr bc I accidentally splashed water on her because I washed my hands or bc I asked if she could help me clean. Being a people pleaser is not a good way to act in this situation but I find myself sometimes doing that. I’m graduating in a year so I’m looking to turn things around.
@RavenCrossfire I hope graduating changes things 🙂 you deserve better than all this fighting
You are so brave to not shy away from the intimidation and always standing for the truth is just so great, It's not fair for you to be burden by all of this emotions and feelings that you can barely share with people and they should understand that as responsible adults, I hope you set your boundaries soon cause you ain't no toy, ur feelings are valid and they matter.
You are so brave to not shy away from the intimidation and always standing for the truth is just so great, It's not fair for you to be burden by all of this emotions and feelings that you can barely share with people and they should understand that as responsible adults, I hope you set your boundaries soon cause you ain't no toy, ur feelings are valid and they matter.
@RavenCrossfire Hii. I am happy to listen to you and offer a non-judgmental space. ^_^
@RavenCrossfire
Hello Raven, I hope you are feeling somewhat at peace today. As others have already mentioned YOUR feelings are valid and they are feelings that, I believe, do not need to be justified to anyone else, even family although I know that means that sometimes you have to distance yourself, emotionally, from them.
I had a family, myself, that came together over a period between 1993 and 2006 and then, like trying to hold onto smoke, it disappeared when the children's mother left me. They (all 3) followed soon after. I know how hard it can be to relate to a family whom don't really understand you.
I believe, if I had it all to do over again, calm, honest and truthful communication might have been a key factor that could have kept us together. Unfortunately it came to a point that it was not possible to follow that path so, perhaps, the conclusion was inevitable. That was my experience anyway.
May I ask, from what you write it seems that a "calm, honest and meaningful" communication has become very difficult for you. Is that something you think you can re-develop?
Namaste,
D.