Fulfillment or love
I'm caught in an incredibly intense struggle, trying to be honest with myself but at the same time being honest with two people who are important to me. I'm caught in an incredibly intense struggle, trying to be honest with myself but at the same time being honest with two people who are important to me. One of them is my partner of many years, and the other is someone I met when I was going through a crisis in my relationship. What do I do if I love my partner but I also love the other guy?After a while, knowing it was wrong to talk to him while still in a relationship, I decided to leave, delete my social media accounts, and not talk to him anymore. However, he contacted me. He wrote to me and after a year of constant back and forth, I decided to choose my partner, but why is it so hard for me to let him go, even though I know it's the right thing to do?I don't want to cheat on my partner, but I also don't want to lie to you by saying the other guy means nothing, because I love them both. I feel lost.I want personal fulfillment after leaving behind an important part of my life, but at the same time I feel that my partner is preventing me from achieving that fulfillment. I don't know what I should do.
@purpleMoon5253
It sounds like part of you has checked out of that relationship. If you're serious about wanting to be with your partner, you have to tell that other guy never to contact you and you have to cut off all contact for good. If you can't do that, maybe consider whether you're staying with your partner because of the history you share and not because you're happy with your partner.
@purpleMoon5253
You are not alone in loving 2 people at the same time. It is easy to not want to look closer at what is it you get out of both friendships/ relationships. when we look closer, we may have to make a serious choice.
Example: if you and a partner have long history and familiarity. Many times, we keep those going not because we are thriving in that relationship but because it is comfortable and not as challenging. The other person may make us look at ourselves and feel differently. They may fill a need or want our regular partner just doesn't or maybe never has. It is hard to let that go.... that feeling of who we are when talking with or hanging out with the other person. We begin to miss it more when we chose to cut it off.
find out what each person really adds to your life.