Hello, I'm new
Hello, I'm new here. I've had anxiety/depression since childhood and had many years of positive management of symptoms/feelings in my 20's and 30's. I'm in my forties now and questioning my resilience. I began having panic attacks a couple of years ago and now I struggle daily, sometimes mildly and sometimes severely. I'm just looking to regain my strength--gratitude, appreciation and awe have always worked in the past but those tools are slipping. Doing the work of coming to terms with difficult things and dealing with mental/physical exhaustion has been challenging. I feel defeated, desperate and the weight of feeling incapable while I am responsible for the care of my loved ones is devastating. I feel a lot of shame.
@clumsyannie I have similar struggle. Here is what has helped me.
- I listen to gratitude audios three times a day. I have been a pessimist so however hard I try I am not able to practice gratitude on my own. I chose to listen to audio and just repeat.
- i have enrolled for a personal trainer in the gym and do strength training. Since I am paying a good amount. To the trainer, I don’t want to waste money and end up going to the gym. The weights that I can life increases gradually and I feel it as an accomplishment that I can life more weights with time.when I finish this early in the morning, I usually feel better. Going to the gym is a pain a lot of times but 20 mins into the session and I start feeling instantly better. I listen to gratitude audio after gym .
I have noticed my mood is mostly better after exercise
3 I don’t blame myself. I did not choose to be this person.
I don’t know why I am the person I am, prone to anxiety etc. But this is not done by me and I am still trying to get better
4 Many years ago, I did not think I would be where I am. I did a lot better than I had expected 10 years ago of myself
5 I create a visual board where I list down tasks that I need to and track it everyday. It helps me see my progress and makes me feel good that I am doing better at least in one area. For ex, I wanted to cup down my tea intake from 4 cup to 2 cups, J tracked it everyday, after a month it came down from 4 cup to 3 and it felt like an achievement seeing the figure on my board while passing by
6 I am trying to do more of what would make me love myself
All this is what helped me. Sharing in case there is anything that can help. However, it may not be the same for everyone.
To add to above, I my reasons for anxiety were rooted in my belief of not being good enough. I constantly felt I was not good enough and Wil fail..
But I observed that the things I thought I could not do, like I never thought I will be able to learn to drive after 2 driving classes, When I could not make good tea in 5 attempts I felt I am a failure and will never be able to make good tea. It seems silly when I write this now but I really believed all this. But now I can make amazing tea and can drive well. I am trying to do more such activities which can make me challenge my belief . It has made me conclude that may be I need to try more and even if I can’t do something there was a lot that I thought I could not do but now I am so good at that.
