How to eliminate the fear that EVERYONE is lying?!
I don’t know what it is…. But I can’t trust for ***. When someone says they love me, I don’t believe it. When they tell me they promise to be honest, I accuse them of lying. When I ask them a question, I automatically assume their response is a lie. And my mind will twist everything someone says into a reason why it’s not true.
i don’t understand why I still have this issue with my partner after 7 years of him being consistently faithful, honest, and transparent in our communication.
we’re currently on a break because of my inability to trust him & my inability to respect a few small and simple boundary he established long ago.
I want to be a better partner and I need to learn quick! I love him & I know he deserves just as much as he gives & I want to be able to do that. Please help!
@goldenPlane2884
Is there a reason behind it? .... have you had issues with people actually being dishonest with you and caused this extreme distrust? if you learned this behavior or developed after a history of others being openly dishonest...... it takes time to unlearn....
Working on it will require you to share with your partner your issue especially if not just aimed at him but you generally think most or all people lie to you.
When you explain before "hey i have issue with trust, and question the statements made to me because.....( fill in your reason) ......." a person especially one that cares for you will be able to be patient and help you work on this.
I mean yes, I grew up with a narcissist mother (which is trauma I have recently unpacked and working on accepting) and I was bullied all through middle school to a point of being suicidal.. then in highschool any male connection I made was based on lies & cheating..
but I was a kid during all of that. I shouldn’t care that fear into my adult life & it sucks that I have.. I know trauma stays with us until we can learn to let it go, but I didn’t think it affected me as deeply as I can clearly see it does now.
@goldenPlane2884
On the bright side if you can relate these things and find a cause it is a step with dealing with it....
i sometimes think many feel at a certain point all childhood stuff stops and we are adults but as i look around i see many who have things to resolve still ... you are ahead of the curve in realizing this.
