I Need Some Reassurance/ Validation Please
So I got a new job as an after-school paraprofessional. I've worked with kids for about 5 years and I've always been lenient plus my soft voice doesn't help command respect. But I do think when it's time to redirect the kids I can redirect the kids. I struggle with gaining respect from the kids and I feel like I still need a ton of practice. Today is my second day on the job and my boss completely scolded me in front of the kids. I get that I should be more stern and vigilant but it's my second day! It's just when someone is always putting me on the spot and scolding me it makes me feel like a wall is closing in. Like I can't make mistakes or I can't afford to make a mistake because there's all this pressure. The more I think about it I find it hard to breathe. I would just like for someone to validate that it's more than okay to make mistakes and even if I do end up getting yelled at by my boss I'm still a human and I'll never be perfect.
@Shyness98
Aw how your boss scolded you in front of the kids doesn't really give a good picture into their personality, super valid how it sent you in a frenzy and is simply upsetting to the very core.
As an employer/ supervisor/ a higher up or whatever, they could have still took you aside and be more calm and gentle in their approach.
It makes a lot of difference how someone makes us aware of our mistakes, sometimes I feel, it's not the mistakes alone that scare us, the more scary part is the partner feelings of humiliation, guilt, embarrassment, a sudden drop in self esteem, the consequences and so on, if the same is conveyed in a way to not "pull" the person "down", and simply acknowledge any areas of improvement (Yes, we are humans, no where near perfect and that's okay, super okay to make mistakes, or have these areas of improvement and opportunities to do better the next time) with compassion and a kind intent to not impose superiority of any sort, rather to simply see another being flourishing, doing better and becoming better at the job, mistakes then wouldn't feel so daunting, and one would want and be more open to improve and grow, I feel. The world would be a better place with kindness, they say, and they aren't wrong about it.
I'd like to assure you, while the job may require to redirect and be assertive in approach, it is still okay to be *you*, to have your own way of connecting with these children and with time and more rapport building, to earn the respect and love you worked so hard for.
It's only the second day, yes, and there's lots of experiences and learning that await you, truly hoping it's a great one altogether, know you're not alone and we rooting for you. Big love! ❤
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Thank you so much! This message made my heart smile with how kind you were. The good news is that today was a better day and she told me that she didn't mean to come off as mean. I really appreciate you for validating me and my mistakes. Being human means making tons of mistakes!
@Shyness98 Aww this made mine. ❤ I'm really glad it was a new day, and they talked to you owning to their previous act, people owning, accepting, trying to do better is such a wonderful thing always. And yes, super okay to make mistakes.
@Shyness98 I'm sorry you were scolded by your boss on only your second day - that must have been awful, especially being in front of the kids. As a parent, I know everyone has different ways of controlling and disciplining kids, and there is certainly no right answer! We all have to work out whats best for our personality and nature and what achieves the best results from the children. As you say - no one is perfect and we all need to support and respect each other's different strengths. Keep going - you're doing a great job!
