I may have seriously messed up.
So last night I really messed up and im seriously paying the price today. While laying in bed last night until able to fall asleep (been like this a while now). I found that the main thought that kept running through my mind was the one and only girl I ever loved and cared about. (Really tough back story to that id rather not get into right now). Now every few years I found myself trying to find this girl, (searching social media, contacting old friends,) who was my entire world until they day she left me and within a week or 2 completely vanished off the face of the planet. We'll anyways last night it was the same thing, but I actually ended up finding her. Learnt that she moved a few times eventually settling down half way across the country, learned she changed her name 2 times (explains why it was so hard to find her), learnt that she is married and has 3 kids. I was honestly and truly happy for her just knowing she was alive and living life. I mean dont get me wrong it hurt, but I was truly happy for her. This was until I saw a family photo.
The photo was of her, her husband of 7 years and her 3 kids, 6yr old boy, 10 yr old girl , and 19 yr old girl. As soon as I saw the photo my heart completely sank and broke into a million pieces. See the 2 younger kids looked exactly like there kids, but the older one did not. The older one, looked like........................Me.
My mind instantly started racing around, thinking about the day she left, her sudden disappearance. What we had done just a week or so b4 she left everything, the timing the age the resemblance, it all kinda makes sence, but even more painful was that feeling sitting in my gut. And now My mind wont stop it wont turn off. All I can think about is do I have a 19 yr old daughter? Is it my kid? If it is why didnt she tell me? Im so hurt right now I need to know, but at same time I dont want to know, I know it would kill me to know that she is my kid and I missed every important moment of her childhood. But its also killing me not knowing. Im sooooo lost and confused. Im hurt, and mad, and I just dont know anymore. I should have never went looking. I hate myself even more now. 😢😤😭
@Usmp4lyfe
Wow.
That is alot of new information for you to process.
It's difficult , because you have done it now.
I cannot begin to imagine how you feel, confused, conflicted.
It might take some time to sink in.
Sending you my genuine best wishes 💜💕
It hurts so much, I just want to have a serious breakdown, and I can. My chest is so sore right now, my head feels like its splitting in 2. Im soo mad. Mad at her, mad at myself. I just dont know what to do. My head is spinning in circles I feel sick to my stomach I just cant. Anymore 😭
@Usmp4lyfe
I cant*
Sir, this a life. If you start this subject again with a one then it will destroy many life all together, first your so-called 10 yrs old daughter then her younger once and once their oneness family concept is broken they all suffer badly for life Tim Secondly it destroy relation ship with her husband and at the end of it you will be suffering and paining whole you life, I were you just close eyes and forgot and forgive this episode of your last fe, i know it not as simple as it said but you to sacrify this for you so-called daughter. Secondly it’s and illusion of your mind created and visualized it so please forget, relax and rest . Adding more issues in your already disturbed life is not worth . Look around you may have better life waiting for you. Best of luck Bro. You are not alone we all are here to help and support you always.
First off she is 19 not 10. And "so-called" is a little harsh, but i get what you're saying. And I know what you're talking about I know I could never contact any of them I know what problems that could cause. But I dont know if ill ever forget, and the pain of not knowin will never go away, and it really really sux