My anxiety of overthinking
Here i am again. Back after a year and in the exact same position.. I thought i was ready to try find a partner again, but im broken. I just cant handle the dating scene.
I matched with this girl, beautiful, funny and a good person. We have talked everyday for 3 weeks, good morning, good night, I hope your day goes well. All this included... we met 2 days ago for a sunset dinner date. It was beautiful, she was beautiful, everything went amazingly, we talked for 4 hours, about life, family, personal stories and everything in between. I drive her back to her place and say goodbye, we hug. I said I had a great time and we should do this again. She says yes and hugs me again. Then says, text me.
She sends me a text on the way home saying
"Drive safely~ today was so fun thank you for your time☺️ Im pretty sleepy haha.. provably could fallen asleep soon🫠"
I reply i had alot of fun too and goodnight, she responds in the morning saying 'lets hang out again soon'
I think everything is perfect, we've progressed into possibly a good start to a relationship. But now, she seems distant, messages slower and more empty. She still replies. But really late, she says shes napping but my anxiety takes control. 'Shes talking to other guys' I say to myself. She says shes on her period and it makes her really tired...
I feel wrong for reading so much into these small small details. Especially because shes agreed to go on another date on Valentines day. But I cant help but feel shes just being kind.. or using me for approval.
I just dont trust anything. Why would she choose me.. if she was really interested, why would she take so long to reply. Would she not want to talk all the time... Am I crazy, shes a korean girl living here in Australia. So her English isn't amazing. Am I reading into what is actually just a language and culture difference?
I just dont know anymore... anyway. Thanks for coming to my TED talk...
@azureShade7755
It's still early days, so you are getting to know one another.
You deserve the same energy you are giving her back.
Instinctively we know if someone is acting differently.
You deserve this as well, you don't need to doubt your worth.
I'd encourage you to enjoy the valentine's date and see how things go, and after that just have an honest conversation if you still feel the same 💚
Thanks for your kind words, ive realised now that it really is early days, I just feel so strongly that its clouding my judgement... I really like this girl, and im afraid to lose her.
I know its not anything she is doing that is wrong, its my needs that are too much this early. I overthink the smallest of things, like ever since the date shes not sent a good morning text... shes warm and replies later. But before she always used to message first.. I just feel like this is a slow pull away, as it wouldnt be hard for her to find a better option.
But thanks. I will keep holding strong and try to push through these thoughts... I know that if this goes wrong then I will be hurt deep again. But I have to try...
I just wanted to update. As im really struggling now... I need someone to hear me.
Shes told me today that she just doesnt see this working out. She had alot of fun, but said she saw me more as a friend... this is all I ever get. Friendzone after friendzone. I just cant take it anymore. Am I really that unlovable...
@azureShade7755
Enjoy the fact that you met someone nice and the first date was nice. And, you'll get to see her again. If something comes of it - great. If not - great. Treat it the same.
And as an aside, girls that are menstruating can get very tired and sluggish, so if she told you that (which is a pretty candid thing for her to say) then I'd believe it.
I believe that she truly is tired, and I dont think shes doing anything wrong. I just think that I am wanting too much too early. My brain needs affirmation on the daily that someone is interested. Every small change from routine makes me immediately assume its going to ruin.
I think she feels comfortable with me enough to share her life and feelings, but im afraid that shes slowly lowering me into a friendzone. If that happens I dont really think I could do it. It would be too hard for me.
I attach so quickly it always ends like this. I push for more too fast and ruin it early on...
But I will keep trying. I would hate myself more if I gave up on something thaf could be amazing... I just hope I can handle it if it goes to ruin.....
