My mom is in another depressive episode
My mom’s texting me from back home with issues. Because the choices her and my stepdad have made with their business are catching up to them. I feel bad but also angry. My mom is the type to threaten self-harm if she feels like her life is falling apart. I really hope it doesn’t come to this. This gives me so much anxiety. I stopped talking to her on the phone because she always has bad news or is helpless in some way. Her and my stepdad will absolutely not accept accountability for their choices. They both abandoned their own business because of their failed marriage and now they both refuse to get jobs and are just selling things to make a living and guess who the pressure is on to support them through the winter? Me. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
@mxscn
I'm sorry you are going through this.
It's not fair when a parent is struggling and you are worried, and they are emotionally manipulative.
It's so exhausting.
It can be so isolating to go through but ultimately the only person who can put the work in and is responsible for her own safety and happiness is your mother.
It's one thing giving support, but it's another thing taking up the blame.
It's not yours to carry 💜💕
Thank you very much for your kind and thoughtful and truthful words ð©µ
@mxscn
A pleasure 💜
@mxscn
@mxscn
That sounds absolutely exhausting — like you’re being pulled into the middle of chaos that you didn’t create, but are somehow expected to fix. You love your mom, you don’t want anything bad to happen to her, but at the same time, you’re drowning in the pressure and resentment of having to hold everything together. It’s a painful mix of guilt, anger, and fear — and you’re right to feel all of it.
It’s not selfish or heartless to be angry. You’re human. You’ve been put in an impossible position: the person who should have protected you is now leaning on you like you’re their lifeline, and it’s terrifying because her threats make you feel like you can’t even set a boundary without risking her life. That’s such an unfair emotional weight to carry.
Here’s the thing — your mom’s threats of self-harm are not your responsibility to manage alone. That’s a crisis that deserves professional attention, not just the emotional labor of her child. If she ever makes a direct threat again, you can gently but firmly tell her, “Mom, I’m really worried about you. I’m going to reach out to someone who can help keep you safe.” Then contact local emergency services or a crisis line in her country — because her safety matters, and so does yours.
You don’t have to pick between loving her and protecting your peace. You can do both. You can care while also saying, “I can’t be the one to carry this alone anymore.” That’s not abandonment — that’s survival.
And about the money — it’s okay to say no. You’re not being cruel; you’re acknowledging reality. They made choices that led them here, and while it’s painful to watch, enabling those choices will only drain you further. You can offer emotional support or help them find practical resources, but you do not owe them your financial stability or your mental health.
It’s completely understandable that your anxiety spikes every time her name pops up on your phone. Maybe for now, protect yourself with some limits — shorter responses, delayed replies, or texting only during hours that don’t spill into your rest time. You deserve calm too.
Let’s start small:
When you get messages like that from her — the kind that send your heart racing — what’s the first thought or feeling that hits you? Is it fear, guilt, anger, helplessness… or all at once?
We’ll start there, gently.
I really appreciate your thoughtful response. It’s hard for me to talk about my parents to anyone. It gives me THAT much anxiety. My mom definitely does need professional help but I’ve tried all my life to get her to do something responsible- getting therapy, applying for jobs, etc. I know it’s not my burden, but guess what the alternative is? yeah I don’t want to think about it. To answer your question, I genuinely feel like life is over when she starts freaking out. To sum it up. I’ve posted on forums before about my mom and my other parents because they seriously seriously cause me so many issues, and I’m afraid and alone all the time. I wish I had someone in my corner to help me deal with this. Sometimes I don’t know if I need therapy, a lawyer, or the cops.
Sending hugs 🫂 I'm proud of you and how you are dealing with the situation ✨️
Thank you ð©µ
Sending hugs 🫂 I'm proud of you and how you are dealing with the situation ✨️