Relationship
Hello, I hope you can be a good listener to me. I really need some support right now.
Lately, I’ve been feeling very down and crying a lot because my relationship with my boyfriend is not going well. We’ve been together for almost two years, but we’ve been in a long-distance relationship for the past six months.
Before he left, we were really fine. But after he went abroad, he slowly started to change. At first it was small things, but over time it became more noticeable. He still replies to me, but he gets annoyed more easily and is much less responsive than before.
Last month, during his university break, he traveled to Argentina. That was when I felt the change more strongly. Then last week, he went to another country and told me that we should “just talk when he comes back” in two weeks because he wants to focus on his trip. I understand wanting to enjoy a vacation, but this wasn’t how he used to be. He used to share where he was, send photos, and include me in his experiences.
Two weeks ago, I also realized he hid his *** stories from me. I found out through mutual friends who mentioned seeing his stories. That really hurt. On top of that, he now replies to my messages only once a day, at his convenience, which never happened before.
I keep wondering if this is my fault. Sometimes when he posted a photo, I would say things like, “You look good, can you share the picture with me too?” Maybe that made him uncomfortable. I don’t know. But I keep blaming myself and thinking maybe I’m too needy.
The truth is, I’m not in a good condition physically or mentally. I’ve been getting sick often. I have pressure from work, family, and worries about my future. In the middle of all this, I just wanted some reassurance from him — simple things like checking on me, talking a little, or saying “everything will be okay.” Just hearing his voice would mean a lot to me. But right now, it feels like he can’t give me even that
What hurts most is that he has been my safe place, my comfort, especially since I recently moved and have many new pressures. I feel very alone, and I’m scared of losing this relationship. I don’t know what to do anymore or how to make things better.
I’m sharing this because I feel lost and overwhelmed, and I really need someone to listen and maybe give me advice or perspective.
@justmeeehere
I get it long distance sometimes people seem distant in talking or text.
for me, I try to put myself in their shoes. perhaps he knows you are having a tough time with move/ work and pressure etc. and he did not want to seem excited by all the new things he discovers on trip etc. blocking his story etc.
How do you share the cool new things you are seeing and sharing that is not just a photo because discovery is more of a feeling. how can you convey that to someone in a different mode of feeling pressured and worried. I found in my life my partner and I often were at different speeds of growth, and we found it hard to share during that time but could share when he is back at school or in his everyday life.
Thank you so much for your input 🙏🏼
I really appreciate it.. Maybe i'm to full and focus on myself and i don't think much of him..
I'm too sensitive and overthink, and i guess i'm the who make things worst
There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself to someone you are close to in this situation! You should not be making anything worse by wanting to keep a connection like this. I did long distance for two years in college, which was difficult because she moved from our home town about 6 months after we started dating, and her mother didn't approve of her dating or seeing me at the time. We just hit 22 years of dating last week and are on year 12.5 years married, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that we never would have made it through those two years without a lot of communication. Don't think you are too sensitive for wanting an important and cultivated connection.
Thank you for saying this 😭😭😭
Honestly, he acted extremely cold to me for the past 2 weeks..
He chat me once a day only say "hahaa i'm good"
That's all.. And he's been in Spain, Greece and now Turkey and i have no idea about it..
I just want to meet him in person and talk..
He supposed to be here this coming week, but i don't know if he change the plan or if he'll make time to see me or not..
Now i have no idea, like do i need to stop chatting him and wait..
But i'm also afraid he'll just not contact me at all..
In this case, if it's gonna end, at least we can meet and talk first
Cuz i think, that's the right thing to do
What do you think?
@justmeeehere it really sounds like you are doing everything you can and he is not. This really doesn't sound fair to you at all and you do deserve closure (meeting in person again) if nothing else. I hope it works out for you but, the way he is treating you, it sounds like you deserve much better than that.
Patience is a key to success.
Put him first now and talk what he likes and feel happy instead making him worried and upset. Yes it does not mean that he doesn’t appreciates BUT you are still navigating to reach your goals so wait and see payy Ty only with positive mindset. Then before finalizing think and act very diplomatically and try to discover he is yours or no.
Offcourse he he has to support in your difficult times, but this is the real test of your patience.
Don’t loose your hopes.
Mejority of men are cheater, this reality but most of the women also not less chapter. So ignore it let them enjoy some freedom before toeing his neck as Nevk tie.
Patience is a key to success.
Put him first now and talk what he likes and feel happy instead making him worried and upset. Yes it does not mean that he doesn’t appreciates BUT you are still navigating to reach your goals so wait and see payy Ty only with positive mindset. Then before finalizing think and act very diplomatically and try to discover he is yours or no.
Offcourse he he has to support in your difficult times, but this is the real test of your patience.
Don’t loose your hopes.
Mejority of men are cheater, this reality but most of the women also not less chapter. So ignore it let them enjoy some freedom before toeing his neck as Nevk tie.
@justmeeehere
I hope you are OK …
First of all, We are not meant to have long distance relationships, we need contact, presence.. so please don't blame yourself especially if you don't know the reason of his behavior… the only way we blame ourselves is because we identify our own negative actions, But if that is not the case, don't blame yourself.
Although it's
possible that he just got used to being without you, or that he might
have met someone else, He should always be honest and upfront with
you.. if communication is important in any relationship, it is especially
important when communication is the only form of contact.
After
6 months if he said to talk when he comes back in two weeks, you
might as well wait, but as I always say “hope for the best but
prepare for the worst” because the vast majority of times when
people say “we need to talk” It's not going to be good..
And
trust me, I don't like saying all of this to you, but unlike him
apparently, I feel I need to be honest, instead of giving false hope.
It seems to me that he is trying to be a gentleman and break up in
person instead of text… And that is a good thing.. But when it is
painfully obvious as it seems to be, I would personally prefer via
text, because I would want to start healing right away.
I
really REALLY Hope things go your way and you are able to fix
whatever is broken and continue loving each other..
And
again, Please don't blame yourself if you don't know why you're
blaming yourself…
Have a hug and good luck 😊
Sorry for some typo mistakes in hurriedly typed msg