Remembering bad memories from childhood
I remember my childhood a lot nowadays. Mostly negative ones. Like how i was ignored in school and how mom treated me and my brither different. Especially i used to het beaten up my mom when she was teaching me ,but when it was brother she was leneant. And times when cousins.bullied me ,especially mentally.it is actually affecting my current life I feel .I have low esteem and I'm a people pleaser I don't get anything in return ,I'm just a giver . I don't have good career ,feeling lost.
Hello. I sense you are lost and unfulfilled. While worrying, it sounds like you triggered your negative childhood memories of being treated unfairly and being bullied. You might be thinking your childhood shaped the way you are now and there are some traits you are upset about.
Do you hope to change some of your personality traits? It could help you lead a more fulfilling life. Sending virtual high fives for giving. Sometimes giving too much meant sacrificing wellbeing. You don’t know how amazing you are and you are valuable so I really encourage you to not downplay yourself all the time because you don’t have to take everyone’s opinion to heart. I can’t imagine how tiring that is going to be. Start voicing out and drawing boundaries for an example. You are a member of society and you deserve an equal standing. Take care.
Being a people pleaser often leads us to feeling we are not enough ... I am sure many have issues they have not dealt with or think about that happened as a child .......... I found speaking up for myself not caving in made life better ... it comes from confidence and belief in ones self.
My question is........ what can we trust in our memories? I learned a lot about issues my mom had when i was young that frankly I can hardly believe because i never saw the things. she had a short time of taking pills I guess I had no idea.... she was a young widow and had hard financial issues yet we did not know until much later. she had put herself in big debt playing she was all good faking it instead of speaking truth.
When i look back at my childhood and discussed with siblings we had very different memories...i remember many talks of why could i not be like sibling? etc .... and they got the opposite asking why they were not like me?
When I asked my kids who are young adults and they too had different takes. as well ... of younger years some are what I remember some things I was like that Never happened.... it is perspective.... and we see one dimension..... we can not go back even if you had worse treatment then your brother...letting go is the best way to find better ways of living.
Remember Jesus loves you and God knows every hair on your head. You have had to go through a lot, but sounds like you are a great person. That is a huge accomplishment. Best wishes and hugs.
