Social anxiety. Socialising with coworkers
Lately I can't get out of my mind that I wish I was closer to my coworkers, but also I hate that feeling of wishing someone was my friend or something...
I talk to them just fine, we chat, we joke, and I like them and they're nice. They're 3 people that I work closely with and another guy (that I find cute lol). The problem is they started sitting together to have lunch and since I lunch outside one day when I came back I saw them together, chatting and laughing and felt so left out. They didn't say anything to me. I feel they all are kinda close friends, but not with me :( They didn't invite me to sit with them and I just can't stand up and walk to the group and include myself. I just can't. Idk how to do it, what to say, I'll blush, shake, and feel so much anxiety.
Just once I did it. The other day I did it, but I almost died of anxiety, and feel I can't do it again. Also I felt more at ease because the other girl wasn't around. Idk why since she's nice and she says she has social anxiety too (I never say it). They all are nice and I know they won't think I'm a weirdo but I just can't do it. I wish they would just invite me.
My mom says they don't invite me (when I come back and they're still sitting together) because I lunch outside. I don't like lunching inside but I could do it, but I feel I'll just sit on my place and wait for them to invite me and that they still won't do it, and I'll end up feeling worse.
@LavenderTree9 Oh, I'm a girl, btw lol
@LavenderTree9
Congratulations that you could join your coworkers for lunch despite it all!
This is a great achievement. For sure you should feel proud of it.
Way to go!
You have found what works. It's about following the path that leads where you want to be.
In social situations, there is some inertia. You "belong" to a group just by being present day after day for some time.
You have started to break the isolation. To "belong" it's not necessary that you seem particularly clever, or fun, or anything. It's just about being there day after day.
I wish you luck in your social (and maybe romantic 😉) adventure.
And then, come here to tell us how it's going.
All the best!
Marcelo.
