Social anxiety and how it's ruining my life
I've had it all my life. It's just keeps getting worse when I think I already have the worst of it. I can't be around people without feeling like I'm going to cry, panic attacks, heavy painful feelings in my chest. I just want to be a normal teen. Not asking for everything like love or friends or those memories that feel like your in a movie. I want to be able to handle simple conversations or be able to defend myself instead of just taking everything. I've had countless nights crying myself to sleep desperately asking myself why I can't just be normal and clinging onto the faint string of hope that I'll one day at least make a friend. But it just keeps getting worse. Deteriorating my mental helf down to dangerous levels. What makes it so much worse is that it's starting to effect my relationship with my close family. I have about four people in the entire world I can be myself around and they're all my family. But recently I've been anxious around even them to. Now the anxiety is never ending. I don't know what to do. I need therapy but I can't afford it, I'm still a minor, and I can't tell my mom. She's not.. okay. She can't handle it. And I have a very real fear she wouldn't care. I also have very complicated and miserable family issues on top of it all. But other than therapy, I have no one to talk to about this and no one to talk to without anxiety in general. So I don't know what to do. Therapys not an option or medication or just simple human connection.. anyway this is sort of just a vent but also kinda cry for help I guess? Anyone please help if you can. Open to all replies.
@consideratePark1307
I'm so sorry you are struggling so much.
I am sure your family love you.
It can be hard when we are shy and anxious.
But it's about small, consistent steps, reaching out, telling yourself, you are good enough, letting people in.
We all make mistakes.
We are all just trying our best to fit in 💜💖
@consideratePark1307
What is normal? what do you think others have that you do not?
The reality is social anxiety and even everyday anxiety around those whom you were/ are close to happens to so many/ maybe most people. I feel anxiety is not something you just get over. It is something you work through.
Therapy is much like that they listen to you talk want you to come up with answers they do not give you answers. I think we find our way like a maze. our maze is different than anyone else's so how can they give us the map to get out.
I was very introverted worried about everything felt distant to even those closest to me in teen years. it increases in teen years IMO because we are trying to figure out whom we are growing into. We think others will not get it or understand. I took a lot of junk in my life by not standing up for myself or believing in myself. People tried to force me into handling things their way ........It took a long time. but found until I was ready and on my own terms it did not work. talk to others... Your mom can handle more than you think or believe as most people can.
Literally Nothing ever has been as bad my imagination or fears in my head ... once I overcame that I moved forward.