Toxic Workplace or All In My Head?
Hi. I work at a doggie daycare place (10th job in like 8 years...I don't even bother counting anymore...) and I just wanted to work, get paid, go home. I pretty much do that every day. But my supervisor a few weeks ago hit me up and added me on *** out of nowhere with no mutual friends and hit on me. He was very random and up front about it so I appreciate the honesty but he's my supervisor and out of nowhere just started saying I was attractive. I tried letting him down easily but he didn't seem to take the hint and my friends told me that if you're uncomfortable, (I was scared of the unknown. What if he did it in person too? I have social anxiety disorder. I'm not gay. He is clearly gay.) you should talk to the owners. I did. Dude got a warning and responded in kind pretty well apparently. But recently my manager has been giving me signs (unless I am overthinking. It feels like I'm imagining things sometimes because anxiety lies to you a lot) that indicate she is into me too and I admit I like her back (so far...im having second thoughts though considering the situation) but judging by how people behave around me and just the general vibe of the place and I swear I am hearing them talk bad about me behind my back now, I'm convinced that the manager did NOT approve of the move I pulled on my supervisor. I can only imagine. There is no real evidence other than my supervisor talking to the owners and the text in response the owners sent after. Everything else has been me hearing things and now I'm considering leaving. And yet, I feel like that's what they want and I don't want them to win. I do like some coworkers but I have a hard time trusting people at work. Especially if I don't know them well. That's just how it works. What should I do? I'm probably not going to bother dating anyone at work at this point. I'm pretty sure my manager got a talking to about it as well just like my supervisor because I saw the owner and the manager having a private chat in the car and it looked serious. What do you think? Sorry this is long but I need someone to talk to about this other than my therapist who can only meet so many times a week.
@RedGiraffe44 I'm sorry sweetie 🙁 your supervisor was way out of line, and this never should have happened🙁 unfortunately now even if it is the anxiety talking, your paranoia around all this is very real and probably just gonna get worse🙁 if it was me I'd just quit, but then I'm not exactly a very brave person, and I've never worked so I'm probably not the best at giving advice here, sorry😕 whatever you do, whatever happens just know we are all here for you 💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗 I hope everything turns out well for you 💗
Your words mean so much to me. Thank you so much. I feel seen and cared for. Exactly what I need.
Although I would love to hear more responses from others. Please feel free to comment y'all 😀
@RedGiraffe44 I'm sure you'll get lots of people replying to your thread really soon 💖 I can only imagine how hard it must be to work when you have anxiety so bad, bless you 🙁 hugs you tightly 💖 right here for you 💗
@RedGiraffe44
A doggy day care sounds like so much fun 🐶
It sounds frustrating though with the people from your point of view. sorry to hear this. but you are correct. never mix work and pleasure—-plus, sounds like an awful lot of drama already.
You also describe your boundaries being crossed and speaking up for yourself. Which was not wrong! You are the new kid on the block, someone got called out for being the way they were…. People don’t always like that.
You’ve got 2 choices. Leave or stay.
If you stay you’ll probably feel a bit better about yourself. You describe that you enjoy it there. Keep your focus on the dogs and ask the puppy love. 💕 they are much easier to get along with. 😂 plus, when others do the wrong thing in a professional setting, it eventually catches up with them. That’s not on you!
You are very supportive and I am encouraged to hear this! I think of it as also potentially having a good opportunity to make someone's life better by teaching people what I've learned in life. Maybe over time, things will be better and we'll understand each other more. But we'll see what the best plan is. Yes, the dogs are the best part. Especially since some of them love to follow me around. I feel so loved by them most of the time lol.
You are SO welcome.
Yes, indeed, you can pass along ideas of your strength and growth.
Sometimes it’s easier to leave but in the long run, you wonder why you did. Noticing the pattern and reasoning is a good start.
Oooooh I would love that!!! See, they know you’re a good person and they just want your love.
Hey I can relate too. Its not in your head. I was having bad anxiety attacks after workplace politics and general hostility after I complained about my team lead of her unprofessionalism. The team and the manager turned on me and started conspiring against me. I thought it was all in my head but it wasn't. I bore it all for 1 and halc year and my anxiety got worse. Then my friend, one day, asked me, "how would you feel when tomorrow morning you get up and you don't have to go that place anymore and look at them anymore?" And I felt relieved just by the thought of it and i resigned on the same day. But I would advise you to have a job offer at hand first and even if you don't have it, don't stress, just do what feels right to you. Remember mental health issues the most important thing. We're all here for you(: