Weekly Prompt #29: How is your anxiety impacting your relationship?
Hi everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: What are some positive things that can come from experiencing anxiety? Thank you to all who participated and shared your thoughts with us. I appreciate you all. I hope all who may read it find it relatable too. If anyone hasn't shared yet, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: How is your anxiety impacting your relationship?
Anxiety can sometimes make me really edgy with those I love. Or sometimes not want to talk or be bothered. But thankfully those in my life know it is my disorder and not me.
@TrueSight It sounds like you have a good understanding of how anxiety can affect relationships. It can be difficult when our loved ones don't understand our struggles. Have you found that your anxiety has impacted your romantic relationships?
@ASilentObserver various aspects of my mental illness may have impacted my relationships looking in retrospect. Anxiety was definitely one of them. It was tied in with so many other mental factors that I can only see in retrospect.
@TrueSight Thank you True for sharing about how anxiety has impacted your relationships. It sounds like reflecting on this now helps you understand yourself better. We are all here with you to support you.
@ASilentObserver thank you very much. It doesn't help that the guys in my past relationships gave me plenty of reasons to be anxious. It is through retrospect that I figure things out the most. Then try to apply what I've learned to the future.
@TrueSightThanks for sharing! Maybe this is how my friend feels and explains his behavoirs at times.
@ASilentObserver
I don't have a lot of relationships or friends in general, I am not a people person. However, in the relationships I do have they understand I have anxiety. They respect my boundaries and push me sometimes when I really need it. On the flip side I feel like it's my anxiety that keeps me tied in bad relationships. I don't want to be in some of the relationships. I'm too scared to talk about it and terrified of leaving so it just puts me in the middle of the chaos.
@JollyRacher It sounds like your anxiety is making some relationships difficult. Maintaining connections while also caring for yourself can feel challenging. What thoughts come up for you as you consider your next steps for finding more comfort and balance?
@ASilentObserver
I'm not going to lie, the first thought I had was to get a job. I'm not really a money person per se, like I don't really want things or ask for them. So, money's never been a big thing to me. However, when it became clear things weren't changing I wanted to leave. But I can't just leave, that's not smart. I would need a plan, a place to stay, food to eat, and that required money. So, I was trying to get a job but I also didn't have time for a job. So, it just added more stress and I spiraled. I had to take a step back and just breathe and think. Now, I'm just taking one day at a time and figuring things out. Haven't found that balance just yet, but I think I'm getting closer to it.
@JollyRacher It sounds like you have been through a difficult time and are working hard to find more comfort and balance. Taking things one day at a time can help reduce stress as you explore next steps.
I feel like it can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations as I sometimes get the feeling like the ones close to me don't always understand me or where I am coming from. So this creates a feeling of disappointment or annoyance.
Also with other relatives it can lead to being a more closed off and introverted person, because I feel like the effort I make isn't worth it or isn't being appreciated as much as I do the other way around.
@Michelh1996 It sounds like your anxiety causes misunderstandings and frustration in your relationships. You feel like those close to you don't understand you or where you are coming from, leading to disappointment and annoyance. Your anxiety may cause you to become more introverted and less open with your relatives, as you feel like the effort you put in is not appreciated. What it feels like for you to have anxiety in these situations?
@ASilentObserver One of the things I notice sometimes afterwards is that I then reflect that back to them, like I bounce my frustration about it towards them which might in that moment only increase the gap between them and me. I have been aware of this at times, but in the moment, especially depending on your own state of mind, sharpness, fitness etc, it's not always easy to stop/deal with or see beforehand.
Also in a way, they don't really make the same effort in my direction, so I feel less motivated to make the extra effort es well. Like 50-50 right? But that is not always the case nor is it fair. I had this talk about how you can't really change others, but only how you take/view/deal with them. Which I think is a very strong thought and can help me a lot as well. But at the same time, realist as I am, it also got me thinking like: if you never call others out on something, they also never change or improve, which might not my responsibility, but still seems not fair in a few ways right...
@ASilentObserver
My anxiety sometimes can be very draining for both, my boyfriend and I. I worry about things that i should not be worrying about. And read into things I shouldn't. If he doesn't reply my message on time I interpret it as him loosing feelings for me. When I see him interact with others, I get unnecessarily jealous. It's something I've recognized and been working on. Also constant reassurance goes a long way to help you deal with emotions. It also helps to be with someone you trust it reduces the worry because you know they wont do anything to hurt you on purpose.
@Tamilore2006 It sounds like your anxiety has been causing some challenges in your relationship. The constant need for reassurance and worrying about things can take a toll on both you and your partner. Have you talked to your partner about how your anxiety affects your relationship?
@ASilentObserver
Yes I have I tell him everything, and he tries his best to reassure me but sometimes the anxiety is just too much.
@ASilentObserver
For me, anxiety has made me easily irritable during conversations with my loved ones because it makes me stress over other things. I often regret my attitude afterwards and over time, I've learned not to take out my negative emotions on people who care and love me.
@LZYYYy It sounds like you have some real concerns about how your anxiety may be impacting your relationships. Feeling irritable and taking out frustrations on those closest to you can indeed strain connections. Reflecting on these dynamics and being mindful of your emotions are important steps toward maintaining healthy relationships. What thoughts or feelings come up for you as you consider how anxiety affects your interactions with others?
@ASilentObserver
For me, anxiety robs me of my ability to open up and show who i am to others which is necessary for building relationships. I get so nervous to mess up, say the wrong thing or to be my imperfect myself and so no one ever really truly gets to know me deeper. I hide myself. Someone once told me it’s like the world is missing out on me and I’m missing out on the world, on other people. And it’s true, it’s so lonely. But I don’t know how to let it go.
@reliableFriend8097 It sounds like you feel anxious about being yourself and forming meaningful connections with others. Hiding parts of yourself can lead to feelings of loneliness. What matters most to you about feeling truly seen and understood by others?
Bad .My anxiety thanks to him by the way i think it s a him,guarantees that i have no life .Longest commitment i had.Probably ends in my graveð¥²
@tiredbubble00 I am sorry to hear that your anxiety has been impacted by your relationship. It can be difficult when our partners do not understand or support us during times of distress. Can you tell me more about how his behavior has made you feel?
When i trigger my voice ,my gestures,my face everything changes,people look at me like i'm a nutjob even if my arguments are right,i m right.That 5-10 minutes adrenalin charges ruins everything and i hate it.
@tiredbubble00 It sounds like being misunderstood and feeling like people see you as crazy after you try to express yourself is difficult for you. You have a sense that people look at you differently because you are different. That must feel frustrating and hurtful at times. How does it feel when people look at you like that?
Bad ,misunderstood and unlikeable
Anxiety complicated things
@goldenVase86 I understand, anxiety can definitely add another layer to our experiences. What feelings have you experienced due to your anxiety?
Distance from people & Misunderstood & alone and frustrated from people reactions
Anxiety has caused problems in my marriage over the last few years especially. Irritability gets high and I snap at my Husband. Which he, rightly, does not appreciate. I have been more easily triggered too which tends to come out in trying to be "right" which, rightly, Hubby does not appreciate. I have lots of guilt and shame around this which makes it difficult to talk about with him. He notices that he is getting the brunt of my outbursts and doesn't really understand why.
He is aware that I am working on anxiety and we have had many discussions about his needs and mine as I work on it. We have made some adjustments which seem to help. I just worry that my anxiety will become too much of a burden for him to want to stay. Sunday I overreacted to a minor argument. He did not understand where all the emotions were coming from and why I kept arguing over something that seemed so small. It made him frustrated which made the situation worse.
Anxiety has brought me closer to some friends as we talk about our symptoms and strategies for management. It has strengthened a few relationships because of this.
@HealingGriz I can see how anxiety has affected your relationship. It must be challenging to feel like you are taking out your anxiety on those closest to you. Do you feel like you are putting blame on them for your anxiety?
No. I think it's just part of the learning curve. Learning what the signs are, what I need to do to manage. Emotions are not something I have allowed myself to express and I am now learning to do so as I go through trauma therapy. When anxiety is high, emotions can get out of hand. The more I learn about self care and the signs of anxiety kicking up, the better it is getting. I used to just shut down when I was triggered and now I am expressing myself more. Hubby isn't used to it and I am still learning to manage emotions through it. Learning curve for both of us. Unfortunately, that means more tension between us and Hubby gets my out of proportion responses when I don't see it coming.
@HealingGriz It sounds like you are going through a learning process as you explore new ways of managing emotions through therapy. Expressing how we feel can be challenging to adjust to for ourselves and others.
@ASilentObserver Tnx Obs. It was a much needed reminder, tbh I myself made this mistake😅. Seems I've some work to do ;]
@IndependentChoice That's great awareness! You're already on the right path 😊
