Why is this situation giving me so much anxiety, and how can I get over it?
I’ve been dealing with a situation from over a year ago that still gives me a lot of anxiety, and I’m not sure why I can’t get over it.
My girlfriend and I were about four months into dating when a friend she had a sexual relationship with (and remained friends with afterward until getting with me) went to the military. She shed a few tears about it, and explained that it wasn’t about him personally but more about the situation and the danger involved. She also mentioned she’s cried about other friends going to the military, not just this guy.
I understand logically that her emotions were about the situation, not him, and I trust her. But emotionally, I can’t shake the feeling that something is off or that maybe I’m not enough for her. I can’t stop overthinking the situation, and it still triggers a lot of anxiety in me.
Why is this still causing me so much anxiety even though I logically know it isn’t about me or my relationship with her? And what can I do to stop overthinking and move past this?
@tybruh
HI there. I'm sorry to read about how this has been bothering you for so long. I can totally relate to how frustrating anxiety can be.
My experience is that the more we try to stop doing something, such as thinking, the more we do it. So I do the opposite - invite it in. I find that my brain gets stuck on a thought when it is trying to tell me something I don't really want to hear. So often the solution for me is to pluck up the courage to find out what is behind the anxiety. I think you are probably right that it's nothing to do with the actual situation. That sounds to me to be just a trigger that is bringing something up for you.
You write that you worry about not being good enough for her. Why is that? Do you not believe in yourself? How can you change that? Did some relationship in the past leave you worrying that people won't be there for you?
There's lots of possibilities that might or might not apply to you. So it might be a bit of a journey to find out exactly what it is for you.
Just acknowledging our thoughts can be a big step towards releasing them out of the subconscious, so hopefully you have found that sharing has already helped a little.
Best wishes and thank you for sharing.
Should I believe her explanation?
