Conquering Worry: Cultivating Gratitude

Hi everyone! It is time for a new post in the series. This week, we are covering gratitude! A simple yet powerful tool for conquering worry. Worry thrives when we focus on what we lack, but it loses its grip when we recognize the blessings we already have. Carnegie reminds us that we often take our daily joys for granted, while allowing small troubles to dominate our thoughts.

Here’s the formula: Shift your focus from what you lack to what you already have.

“Count your blessings, not your troubles!”

So this post is inspired by the book and a blend of both Carnegie’s ideas and practical ways to cultivate gratitude. Practicing gratitude isn’t just about feeling thankful; it’s about actively changing the way we approach life. When we appreciate what we have, worry naturally takes a backseat.

Most of us have experienced this: we were caught up in worry, but then something reminded us of how blessed/favored we truly are. Maybe you were stressed about a deadline but received a kind word from a friend that made you pause. Or perhaps you were feeling anxious about the future and then remembered a past challenge you overcame, making you realize how far you’ve come.

Why Gratitude Works

Because human being naturally have a negativity bias. We are far more prone to focus on what is lacking/missing wrong than appreciate all the things that are right. Think about your day to day thoughts, how often do you naturally focus on what you have? How often do you think about the things you want? More often than not, the longing for more overpowers our gratitude for what we have. 

The stoics had a bit of strong approach to tackle this bias. Negative visualization is a Stoic practice that helps cultivate gratitude by imagining the loss of what we already have. Instead of taking things for granted, we mentally picture life without them, our loved ones, health, home, or even simple daily comforts. This technique shifts our perspective, making us more appreciative of the present. For example, if you’re feeling frustrated with a friend, take a moment to imagine life without them. Suddenly, their quirks may seem minor compared to their presence in your life. Of course not everyone would feel comfortable using this and you may not wish to imagine big losses but it is a helpful thing to gain some fresh perspective. 

I personally believe that gratitude is a skill rather than a trait. It requires effort to remain grateful. It requires doing activities/exercises to focus on the bright side. 

What Gratitude Is Not!

It’s important to understand that gratitude isn’t about ignoring problems or forcing toxic positivity.

❌ Pretending hardships don’t exist

❌ Ignoring real issues that need to be addressed

❌ Comparing your struggles to others to dismiss your own feelings

Instead, gratitude is about balancing perspective, recognizing both challenges and blessings. It’s about making space for appreciation, even in difficult times.

Essentially it is a way to avoid black and white thinking and many such cognitive distortions and focus our efforts elsewhere. The reality is there are a lot of points in life, some small and some big where we become frustrated and at times upset. It helps to have a different perspective. Stuck at a red light? You can get upset or you can be grateful that you did not get this stop when you were late, or that this is a chance to take some deep breaths. 

The whole concept of gratitude reminds me of this quote 

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” —Viktor Frankl

Gratitude helps us

• Appreciate what we already have: It is human tendency to take forgranted what you have. Perhaps you longed to get into a university and now you are stressed with the work load and have forgotten how huge this opportunity is for you
• Enjoy things before they run their course: Change is constant, every moment passes, relationship changes and things come to an end. How amazing it is to appreciate something before it is gone. 
• Improve mood: People who practice gratitude consistently tend to be happier/more content in life. 
• Helps avoid comparison: When you are grateful for what you have, it helps avoid envy and fear of being left out. 

The key focus of this post, as with most workshop series posts, is the task outlined below. I cannot stress enough how important it is to complete it fully. To ensure accountability, I will be asking you to submit your responses at the end of the series. So be sure to note it down somewhere where you can access them later. 

🔦 Task of the Week: Three Good Things Exercise

The task of the week comes highly recommended from our Therapy Director, @LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS, she gets the credit for binging this brilliant exercise to us! 

For the next 7 days, record three good things each day and why they went well. You can use your phone if that’s easier for you.

How to complete the exercise:

Part 1: Each day, write down three things that went well and explain why.

• These can be small or big events (e.g., "My partner made coffee today" or "I passed my driving test").
• Focus on writing a physical record rather than doing this mentally.

Part 2: For each thing, answer:

1. What happened?
2. How did it make me feel?
3. How do I feel about it now?

If negative thoughts come up, that’s okay! Just redirect yourself back to the task and keep going.

You can complete the task for today and share it with us. Then at your own time, complete for a minimum 6 more days and record it somewhere you can access it.